um Page 306 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Sean Connery Approves This Message
Sean Connery is watching the Novak Djokovic-Andy Murray U.S. Open men's final at Arthur Ashe Stadium this afternoon. Connery has been out in New York all weekend rooting hard for Murray, a fellow Scotsman. And after Murray won a point in that delirious first set of today's match? You're the man now,...

Art Modell's Family Requests No Moment Of Silence At Cleveland Browns Stadium This Sunday
On Monday, Browns reporter Tony Grossi told us that the NFL had asked every team in the league to have a moment of silence for Art Modell, one of the main antagonists in the long drama of Cleveland's histrionic sports decrepitude. It probably would have been an awkward moment of silence in Cleveland...

Will Brett Favre Have To Discuss His Penis Under Oath?
Brett Favre's (alleged!) penis is back in the news and now it's because he doesn't want it shown off. We told you last week about the two former Jets masseuses who, as part of their ongoing lawsuit against Favre alleging sexual harassment and retaliation, tried to get him to admit that photographs p...

Texans Fans Brawl In Rafters Of Reliant Stadium
This is a pretty solid fight video as far as fight videos go. It's even filmed properly so mad genius video guy Burke won't have a seizure watching it. A Local Houston news outlet did some sniffing around and found the YouTube uploader and he claims it all started when someone threw a beer on some...

A Fan Died After Falling From An Escalator During The Texans Game
Houston Police have confirmed that a middle-aged fan, who was possibly intoxicated, died when he fell from a Reliant Stadium escalator Thursday night and was fatally injured. ...

This Was The Long Line For Tickets To See A High School Football Game At That $60 Million Stadium In Texas
Anyone wondering why Allen High School in the Dallas suburbs built a $60 million football stadium can find an answer in the photo to the right. Allen is playing host to defending state champ Southlake Carroll on Friday night in the stadium's first game, and this was the wait yesterday morning if you...

Adam LaRoche Hit A Ball About As Far As Possible Without Hitting A Home Run
Bad break for the Nationals on this one. Adam LaRoche took Cliff Lee deep over the wall at Citizens Bank Park. Unfortunately, it hit flush with a small fence on top of the wall, bounced straight up and back onto the field. Jayson Werth thought it was a home run. Adam LaRoche thought it was a home ru...

Skunk Terrorizes Football Game
If you are blind and listening to this, you might think it's that scene from a disaster movie where the woman hangs perilously by a finger, hundreds of feet above a crowded city street. But really, it's just a skunk running through a high school football game in Mississippi and setting up shop und...

Some Unfortunate Couple Got An Islanders-Themed Box To Hold Their Wedding Gifts
What you see above is the gift box for all of the envelopes Sarah and Mike received at their recent wedding reception in Island Park, N.Y. The photo was sent to us by commenter Bring Back Anthony Mason, who wrote:...

First, Kill All The Cyclists. <em>Premium Rush</em>, Reviewed.
1. It's difficult to overstate how much I dislike bicycle riders in New York City. (Collectively. I'm sure you, individual who rides his/her bike, are perfectly pleasant and normal ... when you're not on your bike.) Bike riders have taken over this city, and they are, almost entirely across the boar...

Chelsea Beats Reading Thanks To Ludicrous Blown Offside Call
Chelsea dashed the dreams of an upset-minded Reading when a clearly offside Fernando Torres broke through to give the Blues a lead today at Stamford Bridge they wouldn't relinquish....

Area Couple Offended By "Loud, Sexualized, Pagan" Olympics
There is nothing in the world like the letters to the editor section of a small newspaper. Remember the Ohio man who wanted the "bisexual" buckeye removed as the state tree? By definition, the people who write these things have too much time on their hands and a capacity for outrage that only kicks ...

What Is Known Misogynist Donald Trump Doing In This Ad For Women's Tennis?
Today, the Women's Tennis Association (WTA) released yet another "Strong is Beautiful" video featuring several relatively famous people who have nothing whatsoever to do with tennis talking about tennis. One of those people just so happened to be Donald Trump, the reigning expert on which women ar...

Man Dives Into Kauffman Stadium Fountain For Adam Dunn's 400th Home Run, Is Arrested
Adam Dunn blasted his 400th home run last night into the fountains at Kauffman Stadium. One industrious and, judging by his jersey, long time Chicago White Sox fan decided to retrieve the ball from its watery grave....

Umpires Still Blow Call After Consulting With Each Other And That Is OK
Mark Reynolds and Buck Showalter were ejected in the fifth inning last night's game against the Tigers in Detroit. Reynolds was tossed after disputing a call reversal and Showalter for backing up his player....

Discussion Discussion: Surrounded By Assholes
If you've read our previous Discussion Discussions, or the Comment Of The Fortnight-Ish columns before those, by now you're likely familiar with how they work: we artfully (we hope) and circuitously (uh, yeah) lay out an argument for how best to conduct oneself down there, and hopefully by the end y...

Who Owns Team USA: Nike Wins The Olympic Gold Medal Count
It's been 20 years since the Dream Team's Michael Jordan, Charles Barkley, and Magic Johnson showed the world which loyalties truly matter at the Olympics, wrapping themselves in the American flag on the gold-medal podium to cover up the Reebok logo on their warmups. So here in 2012, the United Sta...

Woman Who Sat For A While On A Hot Bench Outside Cowboys Stadium Now Suing Jerry Jones
How long were you on this planet before you realized that hot things hurt, and you shouldn't touch them? A few months? A year or two, tops? So when you see a black marble bench, baking in a summer Texas sun on a 101-degree day, maybe you think, hey, it's probably hot, I shouldn't sit there. And even...
