um Page 307 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Man Is A Standup Comedian And An Evolutionary Anthropologist Studying The Science Of Funny. Ask Him About Jokes.
What do your jokes say about you? That's what Robert Lynch wants to know. He's pursuing his Ph.D. in evolutionary anthropology at Rutgers, and his studies focus on why humans laugh. (He's also a standup comedian.) Lynch is in the discussion below, ready to answer all your questions about the science...

Finally, Batman Meets USC With "Bane Kiffin"
You guys! I finally saw The Dark Knight Rises this weekend, so I totally get all the memes now. Here's a series with promise: Lane Kiffin, rocking the facegear, saying Laney/Baney things. [Bane Kiffin]...

Four Umpires, And Not One Knows The Count
Yes, the job of the men in blue can sometimes be a dangerous one. But most of the time, the gig is just a matter of calling what they see, while also keeping track of exactly where everything stands. Simple, right? Well, things got a bit confusing for all involved during Carlos Lee's ordinary at-bat...

Torii Hunter Accidentally Drills An Umpire In The Head With His Cleat
What a shitty season for umpire Greg Gibson. First, he gets a Stephen Strasburg fastball to the crotch in April. Now, he's actually in the correct position (as far as I can tell) for making the call on Torii Hunter's attempt to score last night, only to have Hunter's cleat roll up and clip him right...

Throwing Up Dip And Learning About Blowjobs: Deadspin's Notes On Summer Camp
I went to Camp Deerhorn in Rhinelander, Wis., every summer for the majority of my adolescence. It was an awesome camp. We got to fire guns. We got to shoot arrows. We got to go on horseback rides. (I’ve never shit my pants with more direct force than the first time I was on a horse and it went from ...

Gregg Williams Is Going Backpacking In Northern Thailand
CBS Sports reports that Gregg "Kill The Head" Williams is headed off to "the remote villages of rural Northern Thailand for a backpacking sojourn":...

NBCmetrics: China Got 16 Fewer Olympic Medals Than The United States, And 1,594 Fewer Mentions In Primetime
We've been analyzing NBC's primetime Olympics coverage sort of the way we analyze SportsCenter in Bristolmetrics, breaking down what countries the Peacock is talking about, and which athletes are getting the most attention. Here's your final installment, with the grand totals....

How New York's New MLS Stadium Heralds The Return Of The Cosmos
Top-level soccer hasn't been played within New York's city limits since 1976, when the Cosmos packed up for Giants Stadium and took the country's brief love affair with domestic pro soccer with them. The drought might be close to over, as MLS and local politicians seem intent on returning a team to ...

Asylum-Seeking Cameroon Boxers Say They Were Threatened
We told you last week about the seven Olympic athletes from Cameroon—five boxers, a swimmer, a soccer goalie—who went missing from the Olympic village in London. At the time, it was reported that those athletes would likely seek asylum. It now turns out that's exactly what the five boxers are doing,...

"Hockeyy Insiderr," Everyone's Favorite Twitter Rumormonger, Is Probably A 17-Year-Old Kid
Perhaps you're familiar with @HockeyyInsiderr. Even with the awkward username, the mysterious Twitter account has racked up 50,000 followers* hungry for NHL rumors. Despite the fact that any sane reader can tell Hockeyy Insiderr has zero inside sources, and zero knowledge that can't be gleaned from ...

Your Sneak Preview Of The Closing Ceremony
The closing ceremonies kick off this afternoon at 4 p.m. EST. But why wait (*checks watch*) five minutes to see what the set'll look like? Hey, you could look at pictures of past closing ceremonies, or you could look at pictures of future closing ceremonies. Here are some pre-ceremony pictures being...

United States Wins Medal Count, Is The Best Country Ever At Sports
Well, it's official—the United States is the best country at a collection of regular sports and a whole bunch of random weirdo sports, as determined by an international competition staged every four years. America won both the gold (46) and overall (104) medal counts. These colors do not bleed, Chi...

Russia Accuses Olympic Boxing Of Shadiness
At this point, boxing couldn't even beat its rap as a sham if it paid off every person who ever thought about boxing. Things are especially bad for your sport, though, when the Russians are accusing you of being below board. That's exactly what Russian sports minister, Vitaly Mutko has said about th...

Ryan Hall Pulled Up Lame In The Men's Marathon
"Sure, God made the universe," Jake Mooney noted in this space back before the Olympics started, "but can he coach an American marathoner to Olympic gold?"...

South Korean Soccer Player Did Not Receive His Medal Because Of Politics
Park Jong-soo played all 90 minutes in South Korea's 2-0 win over Japan in Friday's bronze medal game. As he walked off the field he held up the sign you see, which apparently reads "Dokdo is our territory." The reference is to a group of islands between South Korea and Japan in waters (the Sea of ...

Your Daily Olympic Schedule: August 12 - Day 17
In effort to save you the time that it takes to both find and decipher the NBC Olympics schedule while trying to figure out which events are even worth watching, we've created our own (better) daily schedule of Olympic events. All events are listed in Eastern Daylight Time (no math) at the time tha...

Little League Team Advances To World Series On Sketchy Third-Base Appeal
The team from Petaluma, California advanced to the Little League World Series last night after escaping from a sixth-inning rally by their Nanakuli, Hawaii opponents with an appeal to third base that a Hawaiian runner missed the bag. The score was 7-6 Petaluma at the time, with the Northern Calif...

McKayla Maroney's Meme Knowledge Is...Impressive
Most impressive. Here is a photo Maroney posted to instagram with teammates Aly Raisman and Kyla Ross posing for a picture at their hotel maybe? Trying to get in a quick swim. Their luck ran out however, as they were informed the pool's closed....

Teddy Atlas And Bob Papa Kicked Out Of Boxing Arena; NBC Doesn't Really Care Because No One From The U.S. Is In Contention
The International Amateur Boxing Association claimed that NBC’s announcers were “disturbing” the judges with their criticism and requested that organizers remove them from their ringside position. NBC was the only entity granted a ringside position and organizers politely suggested that maybe they t...

Your Daily Olympic Schedule: August 11 - Day 16
In effort to save you the time that it takes to both find and decipher the NBC Olympics schedule while trying to figure out which events are even worth watching, we've created our own (better) daily schedule of Olympic events. All events are listed in Eastern Daylight Time (no math) at the time tha...