um Page 338 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

SHOTY Quarterfinals: No. 3 Karen F. Owen vs. No. 6 Dude Getting Blown By Dog
Oh, if only the dog of Joel Monaghan's Canberra Raiders teammate had somehow made it into Duke. In the interests of research, anyway ......

Heat Strokes, Games 15-18: The Meaning Of The Bump
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....

SHOTY Quarterfinals: No. 1 Brett Favre vs. No. 8 Ines Sainz
It's kind of amazing that these two have never been captured in the same photo together. I totally looked. Nothing. Give it time....

SHOTY Quarterfinals: No. 4 Jay Mariotti vs. No. 5 Jason Whitlock
It's the media subregional! It is worth noting that the only two media folk to make the SHOTY final eight are both former ESPN employees. Well, then, the decks must be swabbed shiny clean over there then....

SHOTY Quarterfinals: No. 2 LeBron James vs. No. 7 The Machine
There's no real tale of the tape to run through in this first SHOTY quarterfinal matchup, but if there were, you couldn't help but note that The Machine (probably) has one more title than LeBron does....

In Case You Missed the Beat Down
Why in the name of NBA JAM shouldn't Deadspin EIC A.J. Daulerio and contributing editor Drew Magary fly to LA to play 2-on-2 with ex-NBA power forward John Salley (aka Spider) and the short but court-prowess possessing Kevin Hench (the Henchman)?...

Stumbly, Pot-Bellied Redskins Fan And Compatriot Receive Beating At Hands Of Other Redskins Fans
...and then the cops show up and everybody stands around for a few minutes before the person taping confirms that he recorded the whole thing....

Name That Mascot Dong, Pt. 2 (UPDATE: Lighthouse Penis Speaks, Gets Kicked In The Groin)
This weekend we brought you the phallic-shaped cannon now representing the Columbus Blue Jackets. UMass-Boston might one-up them with "Beacon," who's clearly a bipedal penis....

Name That Mascot Dong!
In unveiling their second mascot "Boomer" on Wednesday, the Columbus Blue Jackets called him "a kid-friendly, cushy cannon character with a friendly face and fluffy moustache reminiscent of a Civil War-era general." [BlueJackets.nhl.com]...

Felix Pie Throws Major League Tantrum In Winter League Ball
The one-time super prospect is working on his skills in the Dominican. The Orioles are thrilled with his shitfit development. [Bob's Blitz]...

Your 2010 Deadspin Sports Human Of The Year Nominees Are...
A cavalcade of athletes gone astray from their moral core, rambunctiously violent media personalities, accidental female empowerers, and a mysterious man in a mask. See them all below....

Guess How Many Points Deadspin Scored Against John Salley
Why in the name of NBA JAM shouldn't Deadspin EIC A.J. Daulerio and contributing editor Drew Magary fly to LA to play 2-on-2 with ex-NBA power forward John Salley (aka Spider) and the short but court-prowess possessing Kevin Hench (the Henchman)?...

MLS Season Ends In Most Fitting Way Possible
The MLS Cup was last night. (Did you notice? Did you know NASCAR also crowned its champ?) It ended with an own goal and the hero injuring himself on his fateful strike. It couldn't have gone down any other way....

Vince Young Just Can't Pull Himself Together
Remember in the summer of 2009 when VY was all ballsy and told Esquire that he'd be the next "next black quarterback to win a Super Bowl" And "be in the Hall of Fame"? Probably not with the Titans....

Is This Pee-Wee Team Running A Fumblerooski Or Just Bad At Football?
The Southaven, Miss., Broncos were leading 25-0 and well on their way to winning a recent game when they lined up for the extra point. What happened next might have been poor sportsmanship or a broken play....

Rodeo Bull Jumps Into Crowd, Gets Kicked Out Of Rodeo
The Canadian National Rodeo Finals were this weekend, and boy were they exciting. There was speculation over who would be crowned Miss Rodeo, the inspiring return of barrel racer Benette Barrington, and the rodeo itself, of course....

It's That Time Of Year Again: Let's See Your SHOTY Nominations
Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of telestrator dong. It's amazing that it's already time for Sportshuman Of The Year nominations, yet, here we are....

Jesus Walks Like A Cowboy: Manny Pacquiao Does Dallas
ARLINGTON, Texas —When Jesus returns, he will surely return to the 50-yard line of Cowboys Stadium, descending bodily on the fog-machine-assisted sun rays streaming through the windows just above the mighty Ford logo, but below the American flag....

Bruins Marketing Department Responds To Column-Kicking Girl With Horrifying Bear Commercial
The Bruins have issued a video response to our column-destroying superhero ladyfriend. It is a short ad with a giant bear and creepy scraping noises, and it is terrifying. Watch inside....

What Did Vernon Davis Buy A UNC Player For $20?
Buried in North Carolina's latest document dump on impermissible benefits to players includes former Maryland and current 49er tight end Vernon Davis giving $20 worth of stuff. That's a heck of a lot more interesting to us than Hakeem Nicks's $3,300....