ump Page 64 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Frozen-Food Smackdown: Totino's Pizza Rolls Vs. Hot Pockets Snack Bites
Dweezil Zappa’s dad memorably declared that a country’s legitimacy is predicated upon its having its own airline and its own beer, and maybe a football team and a nuclear arsenal for good measure. With all due respect to the groovy and departed, I’d like to suggest that in this more enlightened age,...
A Guide To Cleaning Every Possible Halloween Mess (Including Fake Blood)
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She’ll be here every other week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
This Is The Best New Pumpkin Beer
Booze and leisure bloggers have no need for calendars, but we do require many of the same ointments, detergents, and jerkies that bring the rest of you into Walgreen’s on a regular basis. That trip is also how I know that Halloween hasn’t passed yet: The salted-pomegranate candy corn has yet to give...
That Troy Tulowitzki Ejection Sure Was Strange
MLB is lucky last night’s Royals-Blue Jays game was a victory for the Jays, because if the Royals had pulled ahead late and Troy Tulowitzki hadn’t been there to bat in the bottom of the ninth, all of Canada would be calling for home plate umpire John Hirschbeck’s head....
The Story Behind Bob Beamon's Miracle Jump And The Only Photo That Mattered
The man who took one of the most famous photos in Olympic history wasn’t a professional photographer. Tony Duffy was on vacation at the 1968 Olympics in Mexico City, and with nothing more than an amateur’s bravado, he casually wandered into the Athletes’ Village—which should have been off limits to ...
Curt Schilling Has A Democratic Debate Take For You
There will be a lot of takes on tonight’s Democratic debate. Here’s the one that matters....
Fox Sports Humiliates America With Horrible USMNT Promo
Remember when a Mexican TV station used Donald Trump, a mass of whoopie cushions and mashed potatoes inhabited by a chaos demon, to troll the USMNT ahead of tomorrow’s game against Mexico? That was pretty good! They got us! Today, Fox tried to clap back with a promo video of its own:...
Remembering The Tour De Trump, Donald Trump's Failed Bike Race
Donald Trump, a talking tube of bronzer, is a man of leisure and failed investments. Right around the end of the 1980s, he expanded with a truly catastrophic series of investments which led him to declare his first of four corporate bankruptcies in 1991. There was Trump Airlines, Trump: The Game, an...
Reporting Is Ugly
I spent one Christmas knocking on the doors of the parents of murdered children. The families were gathered around the trees in their living rooms, sobbing loudly or sitting quietly in shock. I asked grieving mothers to describe their dead boys. What were they like? What will you miss most about the...
19 Oktoberfest Beers, Ranked
America’s biggest BeerCon went down in Colorado over the weekend, and Drunkspin’s Rocky Mountain correspondent will be along later in the week to tell you all about it. I couldn’t make it to the Great American Beer Festival myself, as it did not take place in the park across the street from my apart...
Madison Bumgarner Had An Endless, Awkward Staredown With Umpire Joe West
You know Joe West. Of course you know Joe West, because West is the only MLB umpire who thinks you’re there to see him instead of the game. Picking fights, escalating confrontations, offering opinions when none are asked for, and ejecting West craves being the center of attention, and wants nothing ...
Entire Umpiring Crew Forgets What The Count Is
Home plate umpire Ted Barrett lost track of the count on Astros outfielder Preston Tucker as he faced Angels pitcher Nick Tropeano in the second inning of today’s game. Tucker had a full count, but after Tropeano threw ball four, nothing happened. Houston manager A.J. Hinch had to challenge the play...
Donald Trump: Joe Flacco Is Elite
Pestilent clownfister Donald Trump did a video Q&A today, and two of the 12 questions he answered were about the NFL. The first and most important was on the eliteness of one Joe Flacco:...
Lance Lynn Sucks, Is Unreasonably Angry About It
Cardinals pitcher Lance Lynn lasted 3.1 innings in today’s start against the Cubs, giving up four hits, six walks, and three earned runs before being replaced by Tyler Lyons. Lynn threw 46 strikes in 83 pitches, and decided home plate umpire Dan Bellino shared part of the blame for his poor outing....
Welcome To Deadspin's Republican Debate Liveblog
Tonight’s Republican presidential debate takes place at the Ronald Reagan Library, where the top 11 candidates will discuss foreign policy, domestic issues, and probably Ahmed Mohamed, the Muslim teenager who was arrested for bringing his homemade clock to school earlier this week. Loony-toon Donald...
Tom Brady Says It "Would Be Great" If Donald Trump Becomes President
Tom Brady has had a Donald Trump hat in his locker for about a week now, sitting there on that shelf like a wearable fart. Someone in today’s media scrum asked Brady about the hat ahead of tonight’s GOP debate, leading the Patriots quarterback to toss around the idea of President Donald Trump....
An R.E.M. Song For Each 2016 Presidential Candidate
So Donald Trump took the stage at an anti-Iran-deal rally to the strains of R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of the World as We Know It (And I Feel Fine),” and Michael Stipe got all salty about it, and, well, look out. You’re welcome....
Bad Old Man Likes Other Bad Old Man
Mike Ditka, a cigar on life support, recently said some nice things about Donald Trump, a fart telling an endless joke about itself. This, naturally, has led to Trump stating that he’d like to get Ditka “involved in some capacity” with his potential presidency:...
Mexican TV Station Uses Donald Trump To Troll USMNT
The USMNT and Mexico are all set to square off next month in a crucial, one-off playoff for admission into the 2017 Confederations Cup in Russia. One Mexican TV station has pretty ingeniously cut up bits from a Donald Trump speech to predict America’s downfall. Here’s the TV spot:...