uruguay Page 1 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Aging Fraud Luis Suárez Misses Only Penalty In Shootout Against Peru, Ends Uruguay's Copa América Campaign
The trade-off in having Luis Suárez on a team has always been for every person he bites, black player he racially abuses, or referee he headbutts, he’ll score at least a couple dozen goals to make up for all of that shithousery. But it appears that as he’s reached his 30s, the playing abilities that...
Edinson Cavani Scores Game-Winning Goal Over Guy Who Once Stuck Fingers Up His Butt
Edinson Cavani secured Uruguay a big win over Chile yesterday with a stunning goal in the 82nd minute. The goal itself was sweet, as it meant Uruguay finished atop their group in the Copa América. But what made it even sweeter was that Cavani scored it over the guy who once stuck his fingers up Cava...
Uruguay Keeper's Huge Boner Hands France Commanding 2-0 Lead
It’s been the tale of two keepers so far in this Uruguay-France World Cup quarterfinal. France are currently up 2-0, thanks in large part to this terrible bit of goalkeeping on the otherwise excellent Fernando Muslera’s part:...
Edinson Cavani Leads The Shithouse Kings Of Uruguay To Victory Over Portugal
Uruguay are the masters of ugly. Their style of play is defined by lining up 11 guys who want to sprint around for 90 minutes kicking the shit out of the ball and the opposition, taking the so-called beautiful game and shoulder-barging it into the muck and grime of the pitch, and trying to emerge fr...
Russia Finally Ran Into A Good Team And Got Exposed
If you were annoyed by the plaudits this seemingly mediocre Russia team received after their admittedly impressive, high-scoring victories over absolute joke teams like Saudi Arabia and Egypt at the start of the World Cup, then you must’ve loved seeing Uruguay bust up on the vile Ruskies in today’s ...
Will Luis Suárez Do Something Crazy Stupid Or Crazy Awesome At This World Cup?
Uruguay have what it takes to mount another charge deep into the latter stages of the World Cup like the one they made to the semifinals in 2010. They still have one of the very best defensive fronts in the game. They still have a steely midfield capable of swatting away incoming attacks, and have b...
Soccer Coach Suffers Brutal, Non-Existent Agony After A "Headbutt"
FourFourTwo published this wonderful video of Defensor Sporting’s Alejandro Acevedo pretend-crashing to the ground in pretend anguish over a pretend headbutt from a linesman. Acevedo’s cronies swarmed to drag him back to his feet....
All Soccer In Uruguay Suspended After Refs Savagely Beaten During Youth Match
This past Saturday, towards the end of a U-19 match between Uruguayan clubs Platense and Basáñez, two referees were attacked by a group of around 20 spectators and players. In response to this act of violence and others like it, the Uruguayan soccer federation decided to suspend all play throughout ...
South American World Cup Qualifying Is Dope As Hell
For most of the world’s elite national teams, qualifying for the World Cup is a charade. Sure, Spain and Germany and the other powerhouses have to earn their places into the world’s biggest sporting event, but because those countries are so reliably great, they can generally nab their spot without t...
Uruguay Probably Through To The World Cup On Two Goofy Goals
Fede Valverde, the 19-year-old Real Madrid prospect who is not racist, just made an enormous impact with what Ray Hudson dubbed a “wicked deflection” in his debut match for Uruguay. The young midfielder got lucky in the 76th minute, scoring a long-range goal that bounced through the defense and beca...
Neymar Beat Uruguay's Keeper With A Devilish Little Chip Shot
In a World Cup qualifying match tonight, Neymar scored a very cheeky goal to put Brazil up 3-1 against Uruguay. When the ball leaves his foot, it looks like he might have skied it, but it dips under the crossbar, landing just over the line. (Take care to note Miranda’s assist on this goal, too.)...
Luis Suárez Threw Himself A Temper Tantrum And I Can't Really Blame Him
Uruguay are in big trouble at the Copa America after dropping their opener to Mexico, 3-1 on Sunday, then falling 1-0 to Venezuela this evening. They only managed to out one shot on frame tonight, and striker Edinson Cavani was awful. He is Uruguay’s best healthy attacker (more on that in a second) ...
Uruguay Players Say Referee Taunted Them By Grabbing His Dick And Balls
The video you see above shows a couple Uruguay players haranguing the referees immediately after their 3-1 loss against Mexico in the Copa America on Sunday. You might imagine that the fervor of the players’ protestations was piqued by the pregame national anthem gaffe, plus the shellacking Mexico j...
Copa America Plays Wrong Anthem For Uruguay While Confused Players Look On
The Copa América Centenario has been a disaster thus far, with sparse crowds and uninteresting play marking the opening days of the scandal-soaked tournament. Things got even uglier tonight, as Glendale’s stadium played the wrong anthem for Uruguay before their match against Mexico....
Evil Soccer Man Sticks His Fingers Up Opponent's Butthole
What part of “you can’t use your hands” don’t you get, Gonzalo Jara? And Cavani was the one who got sent off? There’s no justice in this world....
Peñarol Fans Riot, Fight With Cops As Nacional Wins Uruguayan Title
Today’s national title-deciding match between Uruguayan powers Nacional and Peñarol turned ugly as a penalty in extra time launched Estadio Centenario into havoc with Peñarol hooligans destroying the stadium and fighting riot police....
Soccer Manager Goes After Referee, Is Held Back By Riot Police
Montevideo Wanderers manager Alfredo Arias had to be held back by riot shield-bearing police following his team’s loss to Argentine side Racing Club in the second leg of tonight’s Copa Libertadores match....
Kosovo Club Offers Luis Suárez Chance To Play During FIFA Ban
Had you heard of K.F. Hajvalia out of Kosovo? Nah? Well, now you have. The Kosovan Superleague club offered Luis Suárez a contract to play for peanuts during the four-month, worldwide ban imposed by FIFA for biting Italy's Giorgio Chiellini. Kosovo, while part of the world, obviously, isn't fully re...
Luis Suarez Apologizes For Biting
Luis Suarez, despite being sent home from the World Cup for biting Italy's Giorgio Chiellini, was hailed as a conquering hero in Uruguay, unjustly done in by a biased FIFA and, somehow, the English media. But now Suarez has sort-of owned up in his first public statement since the incident, apologizi...