U.S. Soccer Tries To Fix Its Problems By Building A Bigger Bureaucracy

U.S. Soccer’s steady march through sclerotic mediocrity continued apace today when American soccer’s governing body announced the hiring of Earnie Stewart as the new USMNT general manager. What the position of “general manager” even entails for the national team and whether Stewart will be any good at it are anyone’s…

Here Are The New Kits The USMNT Won't Wear At The World Cup This Year

U.S. Soccer unveiled the new uniforms for the men’s and women’s national teams in what amounted to a Friday afternoon news dump. The timing was strange, and almost made it seem like they didn’t want to remind everyone that the U.S. men’s national soccer team will not be wearing these sweet new kits at this year’s…

Screeching Moron Formerly In Charge Of U.S. Soccer Scouting Offers Braindead Anti-Messi Take

You probably aren’t familiar with Thomas Rongen, and we really wish we didn’t feel compelled to inform you of his existence. But when a gaping asshole like this has somehow amassed real, serious power at the highest levels of U.S. Soccer, and demonstrates his gross incompetence for his position in the most baffling…

U.S. Soccer Only Has Itself To Blame After Losing Jonathan González To Mexico

The United States’ defensive midfielder of the future will not be Jonathan González. A few days after reports surfaced that Mexico would be mounting a serious effort to flip the 18-year-old midfielder, he’s apparently made up his mind and will leave the USMNT behind to play for El Tri. Univision Deportes first…

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