usa Page 52 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Incongruous Athlete Mix-Tape Theater: Joe Alexander
Hello and welcome to Incongruous Mix-Tape Theater, an occasional feature in which we look at fan-made athlete highlight reels set to wildly inapt music. Sort of like this one. Today's mix-tape: NBA free agent Joe Alexander; music by rappers The Team....
Great Moments in White History*
Let the historical record reflect that the first White Man to complete a timed 100-meter race, on foot, in under 10 seconds, was Christophe Lemaitre. In unrelated news, Usain Bolt reportedly keeps looking over his shoulder ... with, like, Hubble binoculars....
Meet The USA's Tipsy, Slovenia-Trashing, Bathroom-Snoozing Miss World Contestant (Video)
CAPE TOWN, South Africa — Remember my encounter with the Miss World ladies? Absent from that group was one Lisa-Marie Kohrs, the U.S. representative. We've learned what became of her that day, and what became of her was a sloppy, jingoistic mess....
Intern Horrors: Destroying A Bathroom At America's Crappiest Newspaper
Welcome to Intern Horrors, the weekly feature wherein interns and the people who exploit them write in to complain about each other (or confess their own sins). This week: befouling USA Today's bathrooms, our most boorish intern yet, and more....
Americans React Rather Childishly To Getting Beat(en)
This post, written by Josh Burt, is republished with permission from The Spoiler. Go there often if you like soccer stuff....
Here's The Lego Version Of USA-Ghana You've Been Dreading
Relive the pain and the feelings of national indignity with this Lego version of Saturday's defeat. All that's missing? Little Lego beer bottles being thrown across little Lego living rooms in a little Lego version of America. [Lego Fussball]...
World Cup Open Thread: United States-Ghana
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-...
The Shrieking, AIDS-Joking, Gulati-Taunting Ugly Americans Of The World Cup
PRETORIA, South Africa — A few hours before the gut-roiling USA victory here, I witnessed a tense moment of another sort when two well-lubricated American yahoos tore into Sunil Gulati, the head of the U.S. Soccer Federation. Here's how it unfolded ......
Now Here's Andrés Cantor Calling Landon Donovan's ¡GOOOOOOOOOOL!
Cantor was handling the Spanish-language radio broadcast. Our pal Jordan Golson has overlaid the video with his signature call, which to these ears usually sounds like Spanish for "Booya!" but which in this case I thoroughly enjoy....
A Children's Treasury Of Drunk People Screaming About Donovan's Goal
What did we do before YouTube, when those of us stuck in offices couldn't vicariously live through actual celebrations of yesterday's huge goal against Algeria? Here are some of the best....
Today, We Are All Americans High-Fiving Our Moms
Here's the first of what will probably be many U.S. goal reaction videos, and it's a good one. Whoever you are, arkansasjones, you perfectly captured the national mood when you said, "YEAAAHHYEAAAAAHH GOOAAAAALLLGOOAAALLYESSOOOOHYESSS," and then almost tackled your mom. [H/T Señor Montalban]...
Here's Video Of Landon Donovan's Winner (Music-Free Update)
In the 91st minute of a 0-0 draw, after a great throw by Tim Howard, Landon Donovan led the attack downfield, culminating in a put back goal by Landycakes himself. Just like that, the USMNT's stay in South Africa was extended....
World Cup Open Thread: United States-Algeria (UPDATE: U.S. Wins, Nation's Underpants Lose)
FINAL: USA 1, Algeria 0....
Last Night's Winner: Susan Finkelstein's Erotic Phillies Fiction
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Susan Finkelstein, who offered sex for baseball tickets, and just went live with a new blog featuring her sexual fantasies of the 1980 Phillies. Especially Larry Christenson. Yuck....
A Beauty In Joburg: Watching Slovenia-USA With The Ladies Of The Miss World Pageant
JOHANNESBURG — Slovenia-USA had it all. There was the immediate and customary American breakdown. The stirring comeback. A bastard shit evil ref, more evil than that bastard shit Larrionda in 2006. And then there were the Miss World contestants....
Here's Video Of The U.S. Getting Jobbed By A Ref
Bullshit call? Bullshit call. Koman Coulibaly has joined Jim Joyce in the pantheon of People That Are Probably Very Good At Their Job But Still Managed To Fuck Up On The Biggest Stage Possible. They share Wikipedia debasement as well. ...
World Cup Open Thread: Slovenia-United States (Final: 3-2 Draw)
U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! FINAL: Slovenia 2, United States 2, Koman Coulibaly 1...
