usta Page 16 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Sportswriting Declared Dead. Again.
Next month's Texas Monthly has a story about the death of sportswriting. It's official: Writing about the death of sportswriting is finally dead....
Saints Players Just Want To Hang Out With Their Wangs Out
New Orleans is certainly a wild and wacky place, but that doesn't mean you can go around waving your junk at women in public willy-nilly, even if you're a member of the New Orleans Saints....
Rick Ankiel Is The Latest American Mustache Hero
According to the American Mustache Institution, Ankiel's "labia secula" (Latin for "lip sweater", apparently) is responsible for his increased production at the plate. [AMI]...
Everybody Wants Greg Paulus
The Packers invited the former Dukie for a workout, now the University of Michigan is also interested in acquiring the services of the one-time Christian Brothers Academy quarterback.. Also, he's apparently a football God....
Nothing Says Quality Like John Daly Merchandise Purchased From A Bus
John Daly may not be allowed to play in The Masters, but that doesn't mean he can't still profit. May he interest you in some slacks?...
Cito Gaston Would Like To Get A Few Things Off Of His Chest
Unlike many others hiding behind anonymity, Blue Jays manager Cito Gaston will come right out and say how he really feels about Roger Clemens. Get your pens ready, scribes, and print this: "He's an asshole."...
Mascot Mustache Fight Caught On Video
Apparently, some footage survived the Big Blue/Pistol Pete fire fight. The horror ... the horror. [OnlineSportsGuys + ESPN]...
Alabama Fan Waxes Eloquent On Life, Tennessee, and Saban
This is what it has come to: an erudite Alabama fan self-nicknamed "Cowboy" is Phil Fulmer's greatest defender. And Cowboy thinks that Nick Saban might be watching his analysis. Which, given that Saban is all-knowing and all-powerful, He probably is. Find a better mustache than this, I dare you. ...
Sarah Palin Booed At Flyers Game, Did Not Take Battery To The Face
The GOP's vice presidential nominee was in the hizzy for the Flyers' opener last night. The chorus of boos that began as soon as she was seen were blasted out by some loud music and (some have said) artificial crowd noise. Palin walked onto the ice before the start of the game to help drop the cerem...
Peyton Manning Finds One More Thing To Endorse
You'd think Peyton Manning would be happy with his Super Bowl ring, numerous lavish endorsement deals, and the adulation of Hindi children everywhere. Not so. Now he wants to win a gold medal, and has prepared a pitch for the unwashed masses. We're unwashed because he's never endorsed soap, you see....
Inglorious Bastardization
The Sports Illustrated cover line writers are big fans of glorious returns, obviously. But what makes these particular returns that much more glorious than others? This is the question posed by Deadspin reader Chris Corley, who asks who will be the next Return To Glory....
About Last Night
What you missed while shoplifting eight giant red hot pickled sausages, stealing a doughnut truck and ramming a University of Wisconsin police car. Oh, and your name is Warren Whitelightning ... (with video) • Holiday Bowl: One For The Thumb ... Texas steamrolls ASU 51-34 despite Mack Brown's goofy ...
Mustaches Amplify Sadness
When you see Stan Van Gundy all pissed off on the TV, you have to go through a lot of mental logic to remember which team he coaches right now. Miami? Yeah, they're bad so that would make sense, but ... wait, no. Houston? I think so... oh, wrong Van Gundy. Cleveland? Does he coach Cleveland? Well, n...
You Should See His ... Well, You Know
Cricket is a man's sport. You don't tend the wickets without paying the price, as Engalnd's Dave Morrison shows here in that bastion of journalism integrity and excellence, The Sun. Actually I know nothing of cricket, or the British health care system, but one thing I do know: Dave gives the best e...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while playing Motorama ... • MLB: Lester! Well, it's about time we got some uplifting news in sports. • Cycling: Vinokourov wins stage 15 of the Tour de France, but is not the overall leader, and there's another big stink about drug testing. Got it? • Tennis: My favorite male Serbian...
We Doubt Anna Benson Would Have Stood For This
To wrap up today, here's yet another example of just how weird professional athletes are, from a few days ago: They sometimes live in a batting cage. That's what the Angels' Reggie Willits does, anyway....
If Only Mike Cooper Called New York City Home...
It's a sad commentary on the state of the summer sports scene that one of the most important things happening today (other than the Arena Football playoffs, of course) is this Mustache Madness tournament going on at Keyboard Quarterbacks....
John Amaechi Is Keeping Busy
Anybody wondering what John Amaechi has been up to since his coming out — first as a former NBA player, secondly as a gay man — in his book Man In The Middle for ESPN Books? Anybody? Somebody was, right?...