vic Page 103 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Michael Vick, Police Can't Agree On Whether Weed Is Classified As "Jewelry"
Ron Mexico would like to make it clear to you that the whole water bottle at the airport incident ... he wasn't hiding weed, he was hiding bling....

We'd Suggest The Scrambling Eggs, As Long As The Owner Wears Proper Handgear
We're just gonna lay this one out there: Michael Vick has a restaurant, and, sadly, they do not serve Mexican food....

NBA Roundup: Cowabunga, Dude!
Notes on Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

Vladimir Radmanovic: Good At Telling The Truth, Lousy At Snowboarding
This is so cute. Lakers forward Vladimir Radmanovic going to miss about eight weeks of action because of a separated shoulder, an injury he attributed to slipping on some ice. That wasn't the truth, though. And the nagging pangs of guilt brought on by his dishonesty finally got to be too much for hi...

See? Michael Vick Has Never Smoked Pot, Ever!
At last, the pristine and sacred names of Michael Vick and Ron Mexico can be cleared, no longer to be sullied with such filthy innuendo: It turns out that everybody's favorite HSV Type 2 carrier didn't have marijuana with him on a planet last week after all....

If You Can't Stash Your Pot In A Water Bottle And Get On A Plane, The Terrorists Have Already Won
Just one day after his brother tried to have an old lawsuit against him dismissed, it appears our friend Ron Mexico is in considerable trouble again. Michael Vick appears to have been stashing his weed in a water bottle and trying to sneak it past the whiz-kids at airport security....

New Mexico's Quest For Newer, More Fertile Land
You know, we're starting to think that perhaps the Mexico family has some issues....

Wear The Jersey Of Your Favorite Player's Venereal Disease!
You might remember the famous OutSports expose on the words that the NFL won't allow you to print on the back of their jerseys. Apparently, this guy, from the Atlanta game last weekend, was somehow able to iron on this tribute to Ron Mexico himself....

Who's Sorry Now? Hand Jive Edition
Who's Sorry Now? is going away for a little while. All this remorse has been overwhelming, and we're sad to report that we began drinking again. So we'll be resting at a secure rehabilitation facility in a country setting in Northern California, and we may even get Robin Williams' old room. But firs...

A Man Like This Has No Business On A "Practice Squad"
Guess who's back everybody!...

Bonds, Conte, Steroids... Blah
I actually can't tell how big of a story this is. When I see the words "Bonds" and "steroids" and a headline, I can try to read it, but in my head, it will all just sound like the teacher in Charlie Brown. But it's the top headline on ESPN.com right now, so it might be worth a mention....

Deadspin HOF Nominee: Marcus "New Mexico" Vick
We can't take credit for the beauty that is Ron Mexico, because it came before our time, so we can only have fun with the next best thing: His little brother Marcus, who has the most fun you can possibly have without actually having herpes....

Jeff George Was Fun While He Lasted
It might be the most talented class of roster cutdowns in NFL history. Charlie Rogers, Najeh Davenport, Ron Dayne, Lee Suggs, Marcus Vick, and quite sadly, Jeff George, were all released yesterday as NFL teams had to get down to the 53-man roster limit....

Cultural Oddsmaker: Death Becomes Them
A.J. Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Send him all kinds of fan mail....

A Sign That New Orleans Is Finally Getting Back On Its Feet
I don't know if you'd call him a marquee free agent, but for New Orleans/Oklahoma City, it's not bad. Peja Stojakovic has signed with NOOCH for a staggering $64 million over five years, in what may be a gross misappropriation of Katrina relief funds....

Grand Theft Auto: BALCO
So in the new Grand Theft Auto game, one of your "missions," according to Sam at SLAM Online, is to hunt down and kill an informer planning on giving a doping report on "our country's most famous athletes" to the FBI. The man, we're told, has more than a passing resemblance to BALCO barker Victory C...

Victor Conte And The Day The Music Died
In response to our post on BALCO-ape man Victor Conte from yesterday, a reader (actually a caller) points out that not only is Conte a musician, but he was the bass player for Tower of Power for a time in the 1970s ... albeit for only a little more than a year. His brother, Bruce Conte, was the mo...

Victor Conte Is Ready To Bring Some RAWK
If you've read Game Of Shadows, you know that BALCO founder Victor Conte is a bit of a self-promotional carnival barker tool. It's part of his charm, we suppose. But you also know that Conte was once a musician, and now that his prison time is served, he appears ready to rock again....

Dolphins Not Liable For Future Damages, So You Know
We don't mean to imply that the Miami Dolphins are covering their tailfeathers a bit with Marcus "New Mexico" Vick, whom they just signed to a free agent contract, but here's what was included in the official press release about the signing....

New Mexico's Woes Continue
Bad Jocks has been all over this story, and they've got their confirmation from the NFL Draft Almanac: Apparently Marcus "New Mexico" Vick scored a lowly 11 on his Wonderlic test at the NFL combine last month. That's slightly better than Vince Young's badly graded score, but somehow still lower th...