vic Page 48 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Michael Bradley Might As Well Retire After Zlatan Ibrahimović Ethered Him
Zlatan Ibrahimović scored what might have been the greatest goal of his life last Saturday in the L.A. Galaxy’s game against Toronto FC. Somehow, that goal—the 500th of his career—might not have been the most ruthless thing he did that day....
Roger Goodell Is Every Bit The Overcompensating Dipshit He Seems To Be
Excerpted from Big Game: The NFL In Dangerous Times, out today from Penguin Press....
Why Don't More Soccer Teams Scoop Up Easy Goals From Cool Free-Kick Routines Like This?
PAOK scored the first goal of their Champions League qualifying match against a superior Benfica team off of a neat little coordinated free-kick routine. Watch the goal above, because it’s cool, and then ponder the following: What is it about free goals that have the big tough soccer boys afraid of ...
Boban Plays Tennis
Boban Marjanovic appears to be spending some of his offseason back in his native Serbia, which has produced tennis stars like reigning Wimbledon champ Novak Djokovic and former No. 1 Ana Ivanovic. As tall, smooth-moving players with big serves increasingly find success in the men’s game, it’s become...
Novak Djokovic Wasted No Movements In This Racket Destruction
Cue the well-deserved praise for Stefanos Tsitsipas, the fast-rising Greek 19-year-old who today convincingly dismissed Wimbledon champ Novak Djokovic from the Rogers Cup, 6-3, 6-7 (5), 6-3. Instead of lingering on this teenager’s breakout victory, or the searing forehand winner he hit to consolidat...
That Time An Ass Exam Scuttled The Sixers' Chances Of Signing Pete Maravich
Basketball what-ifs can be a fun game to play, so here’s one that wouldn’t have significantly changed the course of NBA history but is nonetheless odd: Did you know an in-his-twilight “Pistol” Pete Maravich might have picked the Celtics over the 76ers because of a threatened ass exam?...
Report: Novak Djokovic Split Up With Hug-Loving Spiritual Adviser To Bring Back Old Coach
Newly crowned Wimbledon champ Novak Djokovic might look a lot like his old dominant self, but he’s still coming off a two-year major title drought and psychological slump. During that span, his support staff was constantly churning....
Novak Djokovic Is Novak Djokovic Again
A fatless and notably tall-headed man going by the name “Novak Djokovic” spent a lot of his time on tennis courts over the last 18-odd months, and succeeded even in being granted entry to some important professional tournaments. There he beat some solid tennis players, even though, off the court, h...
Novak Djokovic Decisively Puts Away Kevin Anderson For Fourth Wimbledon Crown
Kevin Anderson tried his hardest to upset Novak Djokovic in the men’s Wimbledon Final, but the Serbian wasn’t having any of that. No. 12 Djokovic effortlessly defeated No. 8 Anderson in three sets, 6-2, 6-2, 7-6 (3), capturing his fourth Wimbledon title and 13th Grand Slam title....
Wimbledon's Tall Men Semifinal Might Be Dull, But Don't Miss A Novak-Rafa Classic
Back by popular demand, Various Tall Men have thrived once again at the Wimbledon Championships: Kevin Anderson and John Isner will face off in a men’s semifinal. The universe is stupid and cruel, so it is not possible to rule out the outcome that Isner will win that match, then serve 120-something ...
Am I Gross For Eating My Own Foot Skin?
Dear Leigh, I’ve tasted the skin that I’ve peeled from my feet after using Baby Foot. I know it’s so gross but the whole experience is cathartic. But like, how gross is it?...
After 17 Seasons In San Antonio, Tony Parker Will Join The Charlotte Hornets
There’s no particular reason why this should be received as bad news, but it is something of a bummer: Tony Parker is leaving the San Antonio Spurs after 17 seasons to serve as a backup to Kemba Walker in Charlotte....
I Can't Stop Staring At Zlatan Ibrahimovic's Ass Tattoos
This week, in the annual Body Issue of ESPN The Magazine, Zlatan showed his ass, and friends, the ass is a masterpiece....
The Most Thrilling Drama In The NBA Tonight Is Gregg Popovich And Kawhi Leonard Possibly Having A Meeting
The Kawhi Leonard trade saga has so far been short on specific news about the possibly still-injured Spurs forward’s future home, though the Lakers are supposedly the California native’s preferred destination. But it’s getting long on ridiculously specific media reports, which is really what’s neces...
Novak Djokovic Went Out Swinging Against A Relentless No-Name
Marco Cecchinato is 25 years old. Until this week, he had never won a match at a major—first-round losses in all four tries. Until last month, his biggest splash on tour might have been a 2016 suspension for match-fixing, later overturned on appeal. At No. 72 in the world, he has become the lowest-r...
Park Service Boss Who Helped Dan Snyder Cut Down Trees Apologizes For Mysterious Crotch Grab
Have you heard the story about the National Park Service director who took a trip to Alaska and grabbed his dick and balls? Neither have we. Well, not the whole story. But suddenly we’re hearing lots about the tale. And we’d love to hear the rest!...
Zlatan Red-Carded For Slapping Opponent’s Head
When a European soccer star moves to the United States for the twilight of his career, it’s only a matter of time before he’s involved in one of two hilarious incidents: He oversells an injury or gets a red card for a stupid reason. Today, Zlatan Ibrahimović did both on the same play!...
Am I Gross For Sucking Snot Out Of My Baby's Nose?
Dear Leigh, I have sucked snot out of my kids’ noses with my mouth when they were too little to blow it. I spit it out, for the record. Am I gross?...
MMA Fighter's Grody Broken Finger Is Here To Spoil Your Appetite, Forever
Julia Avila broke her finger early in her bout with Marciea Allen at Friday’s Invicta FC 29. Avila was parrying kicks from Allen when one of the kicks did something truly horrifying to a finger on Avila’s left hand....
Spurs Assistant Becky Hammon To Interview For Bucks Head Coaching Job
Becky Hammon, the first woman to serve as an assistant coach in NBA history, will reportedly interview for the vacant head coach position with the Milwaukee Bucks. Per ESPN:...