vic Page 97 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ha Ha ... Tom Brady Fell Out Of A Boat
World's Fanciest Human can't even row a kayak down the Charles River without needing to be rescued from knee-deep water! What's that? Still a good-looking, supermodel-having NFL quarterback? Well....at least I didn't fall out of a boat! [Boston Herald]...

Vicente Padilla Is Good At Making People, Androids Angry
Mark Teixeira after his double-plunk from Padilla: "Unfortunately, that guy has been doing it his whole career. Every time I've faced him since there seems to be balls near my head, near my body, and today I got hit twice. There's really no reason for it." [DMN]...

Where Does PETA Get Off Humiliating Michael Vick?
DeAngelo Hall on Vick: "I mean, he's definitely been humiliated. I think he should have [gotten] suspended, then he should have had to pay a big fine. That's what PETA wants anyway, is money, so he should have had to pay them money." [D.C. Sports Bog]...

The Sordid Life Of Clippers Owner Donald Sterling
Just in time for the lottery, ESPN The Magazine has a look-see at the walking abomination known as Donald Sterling, Clippers owner and a man of discerning taste. Dislikes: blacks, Mexicans, children. Likes: Koreans, blowjobs....

Michael Vick Escapes From Prison!
Convicted dog murderer Michael Vick snuck out of the federal penitentiary in Leavenworth under the cover of darkness this morning, completely undetected by the media. How does he do it?!...

Michael Vick Has Always Enjoyed Pitas ... Er, PETA
Michael Vick is ready to fulfill his community service requirementshis dream of defending animal rights in a PETA ad. The guy just really cares about this issue for some sudden unexplained reason!...

Guy Lefleur's Idiot Son Gets His Old Man In Trouble With The Law
Legendary Montreal Canadien Guy Lefleur was convicted today of basically lying in court to protect his son, which would be sort of honorable if the kid wasn't so clearly a jackass....

Michael Vick Is Almost Free
Vick will be released to home confinement on May 20, before his full sentence ends on July 20. Then he begins three years of probation. I feel safer already. [ESPN]...

Big Papi Fires Warning Shot Over Joba's Bow
Their series doesn't begin until tomorrow, but David Ortiz thought he'd get in a preemptive strike today against Joba Chamberlain and the Yankees. Hey Joba, please don't throw at our noggins....

Goodell Wants Michael Vick To Say He's Sorry
"Does he understand the mistakes he made and is he genuine and have remorse for those actions and is he prepared to handle himself differently going forward? That will ultimately be my decision." [USA Today]...

Chicago: Just Lucky? Or Something More Sinister?
The world probably believes it is witnessing what the sociologist Robert K. Merton calls a "self-fulfilling prophecy." But are we ignoring a blatant conflict-of-interest in the city that gave us Rod Blagojevich?...

Rod Blagojevich Will Tweak Your Lineup
Did former Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich really once give Lou Piniella lineup advice? And more importantly, why didn't Piniella take it?...

The Epic Todd Marinovich Story You Should Read Immediately
Todd Marinovich's plummet from can't-miss prospect to drug-addled fuck up is a tale most sports fans know intimately. But this month's Esquire reveals so much more about the quarterback's disturbing life....

From Executive Producer Ron Mexico...
Mike Vick is pitching a reality show. Splendid. [Shutdown Corner]...

At Least One Guy Still Has Michael Vick's Back
Disgraced illegal dog fight promoter Michael Vick doesn't have a lot of friends left in this world, but we now know he has at least one die-hard supporter at the Tucson Botanical Gardens....

UNC Student Burned But Proud
As we learned in Lord of the Flies, dancing near bonfires often leads to the collapse of the social structure, and on occasion a trip to the North Carolina Jaycee Burn Center....

Michael Vick Is Still An Idiot
Yesterday, a Virginia bankruptcy court rejected Michael Vick's, um, completely idiotic bankruptcy plan. Why? Perhaps it was a bad idea for a broke, unemployed athlete to claim he needs two houses and four cars....

A Little International Tarnish On Binghamton's One Shining Moment
The assault case against Serbian national basketball player Miladin Kovacevic continued its inexorable slide toward absurdity today, further tarnishing the name of Binghamton University, which should be basking in the NCAA Tournament glow right now....

The United Football League Is What We Thought It Was!
Denny Green and Jim Fassel are back coaching pro football, and there may be a spot for Michael Vick as well. Welcome to the wonderful world of the UFL!...

Do Sports Keep High Schools From Actually Being Schools?
A lawmaker in North Carolina wants a bill that would force public schools to shut down their athletic programs if the rest of the school is filled with clumsy idiots....