vic Page 97 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Your Guest Editor Has Arrived. Get All Your Balls In Order.
All right, you listen up, you little freaks. The fun stops here: you're going to shut your stinking traps and behave, dammit! This is one substitute you're not going to SCREW WITH! That's right, I'm your guest editor today. Send your tips to me here, or to [email protected]. And while I'm here, in ...

Shaquille O'Neal has a Few Things He's Like to Get Off of His Chest...
Sports 620 KTAR showed up at Suns practice on Tuesday and provided The Big Angry with an opportunity to lay waste to everything in his path. The first target: Gregg Popovich, the yellow bastard who dared to (successfully) employ the Hack-a-Shaq strategy in last year's first round playoff series betw...

MLB Closer: Brett Myers Is Your New Bicycle, Dice-K Baffles
• Phillies 8, Dodgers 5 Taking the advice of his marriage counseler, Brett Myers decided to get rid of his aggression on the field by making the Doyers his bitch. Myers pitched well enough to win, but did the real damage with his bat, to the tune of a 3-for-3 night with 3 RBIs. The wife can rest ea...

Jelena Jankovic Perfects The Art Of Undermining Her Opponent
Jelena Jankovic, the split-happy, thunder-serving Serbian may have lost the U.S. Open to Serena Williams yesterday, but she won over some new fans. Williams' third U.S. Open title returned her to the number-one ranking player in the WTA, but that news was overshadowed by the bizarre post-match comme...

Clemson Defensive Coordinator Suggests Top Alabama Football Recruits Drive Escalades
And by "suggests", I mean "said." At least the top recruits do. What could bring on this rumination? Perhaps the upcoming neutral site game between Clemson and Alabama. As part of his job for the big game Clemson's defensive guru, Vic Koenning, is charged with stopping Alabama's newest starting rec...

Michael Vick Coming to a UFL Field in 2009?
Note the U. The UFL, United Football League, is a six team start-up league with decent backers—Mark Cuban among others. The UFL plans to begin play in 2009 (originally planned on a 2008 start) and would play all of their games on Fridays in the fall. Teams would be based in Los Angeles, San Francis...

Another Unfortunate Night For Super Judah
Personally, I blame Affliction. That douchey brand is intent on draping every fighter in that crap, and now it's forced Zab Judah's signature Star of David to a small space near the inseam of his shorts. And now Super Judah's career as a title contender is almost certainly over. Of course some crap...

Jelena Jankovic Gets Proactive About That Not-So-Fresh Feeling
You know, back in the days before I was married it used to take panties coming off to get me excited. Now panties going on does the trick just as well. In related news noted women's right advocate Justin Gimelstob announced that all women should play without panties on the WTA....

Ana Ivanovic Makes Pretty Faces For The Camera
Tennis fans should be thrilled at how popular the sport is this week. First, it was those weird faceless people popping up at Wimbledon. Then it was the Williams sisters doing their Williams-sister thing. Then yesterday's "epic" Men's Final that showed the world that Spanish men in Capri pants are w...

Jelena Jankovic Not Doing Any Splits After Today's Performance
Not a good week for highly-ranked Serbian women, as third-ranked superstar Jelena Jankovic went down in the fourth round this morning at Wimbledon. Jankovic, known for her salty toughness and her love of Lita Ford's wardrobe, was bounced by the 60th ranked player in early morning action....

Marcus Vick Eager To Take Spotlight Back From His Brother
Has it really been a year-and-a-half since a Marcus Vick update? That can't be right! Anyway, our friend "New" Mexico has found himself in some trouble this morning: He was arrested and charged with a DUI....

The World's Biggest, And Most Stylish, Bobcats Fan
Big, serious, all-compassing salutations to Bobcats Baseline, which came across this beautiful piece of American ingenuity: It's a Charlotte Bobcats Crown Victoria....

Jelena Is Excitable
Jelena Jankovic defeated the unseeded Alizé Cornet in straight sets to retain her title in the Italian Open before celebrating with a bit of champagne....

Crazy Artist Guy Combines Michael Vick And Another Horse
You might remember last year, when a talented artist combined Michael Vick and Barbaro, causing us to spontaneously combust. Well, that artist is back, this time honoring the "great" Eight Belles....

Michael Vick Might Run Out Of Money Sometime Soon
Michael Vick has now been in jail for about six months, and though he still has at least a year-and-a-half to go, he's not immune to bad news from outside the prison. As if possibly had any money left, now the Canadians are after him....

Deadspin Vs. Cat Lady. Let's Watch The Fun
It seems that Deadspin readers have been naughty once again. On Friday many of you infiltrated The Animal Advocate blog comments section, and hilarity, as they say, ensued. But like most parties around here, things may have gone a little too far. Iracane has been notified and a full investigation is...

T-Bones' Michael Vick Promotion Under Fire
Well, it seems that not everyone's thrilled with the Kansas City T-Bones' big Michael Vick baseball promotion. The NAACP is one organization that's a little peeved. And so is Kristy Winfrey, who authors the Kansas City-based Animal Advocate blog. There is a warmth in my heart as big as a certain dec...

T-Bones Welcome Michael Vick To The Neighborhood
It's the glorious return of Minor Enterprise, a celebration of God's gift of Minor League baseball promotions. Also, we will plagiarize some Rachael Ray recipes....

Michigan Students Will Bone You/Be Boned For OSU Tickets
According to a recent "study" conducted by the University of Michigan, there is a small fraction of the student body who will use sex in lieu of currency for various goods and services. According to Daniel Kruger, research scientist at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health, he's troub...

Today In Silly Political Wagers
In case you forget, people, gambling is a sin, but that doesn't stop our politicians from insisting on those dopey city "wagers" anytime their teams play in the postseason....