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The Greatest Olympic Cauldron Lighting Ever Happened 20 Years Ago Today
Look, there's a lot about the 1992 Opening Ceremonies in Barcelona that is just a little too '90s for most folks. The short shorts. The glow sticks. The high socks. However, every single time I watch the ending, I get chills, my brain unable to wrap itself around the fact that HE SHOT A FUCKING AR...

We Already Have Our First Olympic Brand Violator, And It Is Pepsi
With the Olympic sponsorship protection Gestapo cracking down even on the family of royalty, we're amazed that it took just an hour for an unapproved sponsor's logo to appear onscreen. (The Olympics started this morning, if you didn't know.)...
![After 20 Years, Footage From The Dream Team's Monaco Scrimmage Finally Airs [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
After 20 Years, Footage From The Dream Team's Monaco Scrimmage Finally Airs [UPDATE]
Three days before the 1992 Summer Olympics kicked off, the Dream Team played an intrasquad scrimmage in Monaco, Magic's side vs. Jordan's, arguably the greatest assemblage of basketball legends playing against each other in the same game. As Jack McCallum started researching his book Dream Team, ...

Drew Magary Breathes Some Common Sense Into A Stand-Your-Ground Courthouse Brawl
Welcome to Tuesday Night Fights, a weekly celebration and analysis of street-fight videos found on YouTube. Tonight's fisticuffs: "Old man got KO power. Osceola, FL Courthouse Brawl Breaks Out." Tonight's commentator: Deadspin columnist Drew Magary....

Female Russian Skydiving Team Sets World Record With 88-Member Jump
Apparently, there's a women's skydiving team based in Russia called "Pearls of Russia," and each of them seems to be incapable of processing normal human emotions, including fear, tension, or sound judgment. Even more astonishing is that this wasn't their first or second attempt, but rather a thir...

Pac-12 Football In A Nutshell: Reporter Addresses Coach By Name Of Guy Who Left Ten Years Ago
After the madness of SEC Media Days, the other FBS conferences' pre-season football bazaars tend to be a bit more understated. That doesn't mean there aren't occasional weird moments, like earlier today at the Big 12 media day when Oklahoma State coach Mike "I'm a man! I'm 40!" Gundy was interrupt...

Stop Filming Your Kids Crying Over Sports
Here's a little girl in tears over Ichiro Suzuki being traded away from the Seattle Mariners. We've been sent this video a few times, and we'll take the chance to address this now, rather than respond to each individually: We don't care about your or anyone else's little kids crying over sports....

Ten Days Of Stunning Timelapse Videos At Wimbledon
For each day of their coverage of The Championships, ESPN commissioned a timelapse video from production company The Seventh Movement. This video showcases the entirety of their work in London. Thom McCallum walks us through how they got it done:...

San Francisco Has The Most Helpful Fans In Baseball
Melky Cabrera made a nice grab in the sixth inning of last night's Giants game, but not as nice as the grab three fans made on Melky. A stylish bow on yet another three-hit game from Cabrera, as the Giants downed the Padres to remain a game-and-a-half up in the NL West....

Ichiro's First At-Bat As A Yankee: A Double Bow To Mariners Fans, Followed By A Slap Single Up The Middle
It's a little weird to see Ichiro sporting a Yankee cap (especially the custom low-profile 5150 they seem to have given him) but how his first plate appearance for the Yankees went couldn't have been more predictable. And, yet, it was wonderful, as the veteran gave a respectful bow to both sides of...

How Curt Schilling's Video Game Company Was Doomed From The Start
Boston magazine has a lengthy post-mortem of the late, lamented 38 Studios, which went under earlier this year amid unpaid employees and defaulted loans and federal investigations and one very angry Rhode Island governor. After reading it, you may not feel any more sympathy for Curt Schilling (save ...

The First-Ever Horse Race Called By An Announcer On Helium
It was "Extreme Race Day" at Minnesota's Canterbury Park, a designation that seems to mean different things from year to year. This time around, it meant ostrich races, camel races, and in the ninth, track announcer Paul Allen taking hits of helium throughout....

Cubs Pay Tribute To Ron Santo On Day He Is Inducted Into Hall Of Fame
To honor the late Ron Santo on the day of his induction into the Hall of Fame, the Cubs took the field with the same heel click Santo became known for following a walk-off win in in the summer of 1969....

Tiger's Errant Drive At 11 Today Created A Thundering Herd Of Freaks
A haphazard day for Tiger Woods continued at the par-five 11 this morning as his tee shot went well to the right, landing behind the gallery and creating a stampede of idiots desperate to get a glimpse of Tiger's golf ball. Our favorite is backpack guy, but there's plenty of gems to pick out in sl...

Here Is The Joe Paterno Statue Being Removed
As we told you earlier, the Joe Paterno Statue outside Beaver Stadium was taken down this morning behind tarp-covered fences. It took about nine construction workers aided by a forklift less than an hour and half to take down the statue, covered in a blanket. [WGAL]...

Feeding Seagulls Laxatives Ends Exactly As Expected
This is terrible. If you've ever had a bird shit on you, you know this. It once happened to me, actually—my fault for going to Shea Stadium....

Do Not Wear Giants Gear To An Oakland A's Game Or A Saint Bernard May Try To Bite You
Bark At The Park night in MLB stadiums is the exact opposite of Parks & Rec day: instead of the stadium being full of snotty kids, it is instead filled with a bunch of cute dogs. The evening didn't go so well for this Giants fan, though, whose attempt to cozy up with a Saint Bernard appeared to ha...

Walk-Off Home Run From Cody Ross Leaves Hawk Harrelson Silent For Over A Minute
Noted blatherer Hawk Harrelson is really only at a loss for words when the White Sox managed to inexplicably blow a lead late in the game and lose. For example, maybe Chicago is playing at Fenway and about to pull off an efficient 1-0 win thanks to eight solid innings from starting pitcher Jose Qu...

Every Baseball Fan Can Appreciate This Video Of CB Bucknor Taking A Fastball To The Face
Given that CB Bucknor's been named "Worst MLB Umpire" by pro ballplayers three times, it's a sure bet most fans don't think much of the ump, either. (Your reaction to our Better Know An Umpire on Bucknor backs that up.) So here's your chance to revel in some CB misery, as he takes an Ubaldo Jimen...

Rory McIlroy "Nearly Decapitates" Spectator With Errant Drive At 15th Hole
Rory McIlroy's wacky season (claiming the #1 ranking, but missing the U.S. Open cut) continued today at Royal Lytham and St. Annes as he crept his way onto the leaderboard only to find his drive at the par four 15th go far to the right, drilling a spectator in the skull. (Never a publication to en...