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SprtsCntr: Tony La Russa's Wonderful Communications Breakdown
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Scenes From The Arizona Fall League: Lizards Go Down Easier With Mountain Dew
Baseball is boring. Being a pitcher is worse. Being a reliever on an Arizona Fall League team with a 20-man bullpen leaves you with so much free time, you're probably insane if you don't spend your afternoons swallowing geckos....

Men Whose Job It Is To Hurt Quarterbacks Chided For Being Happy When Quarterback Is Hurt
I get that Lions-Falcons was the closest thing to a matchup of two winning teams yesterday, and that both are likely to be vying for the same limited wild card slots, so we should have expected a competitive game, bordering on the chippy. But what we got—Matt Ryan getting his ankle rolled up, and ...

SprtsCntr: Jesus Can't Save Tim Tebow From Merril Hoge
What is ESPN prattling on about right now? We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

Watch Lionel Messi Fail To Convert A Game-Winning Penalty Kick
"The reason [Frederic] Kanoute got so worked up was that after Sevilla worked so hard to hold Barca scoreless for 90 minutes, they were awarded a very soft penalty when Andres Iniesta went down in the box. Kanoute earned his first booking when he knocked the ball off the penalty spot as Lionel Mes...

You'd Probably Curse Too If You Got Stuck Reffing The Seahawks/Browns Game
Tipster Israel M. sent along this little snippet titled, "Ref in Cleveland-seattle game yells FUCK." Yes, he sure seems to do so....

Texas Fan Who Threw Wiffleball At Matt Holliday Last Night "Wasn't Really A Douche In College"
The St. Louis Cardinals were up 14-6 in the seventh inning last night when Nelson Cruz hit a fly ball to right center. It was at that point that a Texas Rangers fan threw a wiffleball in an unsuccessful attempt to distract outfielder Matt Holliday. That fan got jeered and ejected, but college frie...

Watch Manchester City Give Man U Its Worst Home Loss In 56 Years
"Manchester City inflicted Manchester United's worst home defeat since February 1955 as they thrashed the champions in ruthless fashion to go five points clear at the top of the Premier League. City were also the victors on that occasion 56 years ago, winning 5-0, but this visit was portrayed as a...

Italian Rider Marco Simoncelli Killed In MotoGP Race Today
Watching racer Marco Simoncelli crash on a Malaysian track, lose his helmet, get struck and suffer ultimately fatal head, neck and chest trauma isn't easy to watch. But, it happened, so you can do so if you so choose....

John Tortorella's 16-Second Press Conference Describes The Rangers' Performance Pretty Well
Getting shut out by the Edmonton Oilers, and Nikolai Khabibulin to boot? Allowing 27 shots to the Oilers? Having superduperstar goalie Henrik Lundqvist leave the game with foot pain?...

It Seems As If There's A Proper Protocol To Follow In A "Redneck FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
There's no indication as to watch brought on this scrap between Cody "Ol Blue" Bridges and Aj "fag." Maybe it was just something that needed to be done. But whatever it was, it resulted in a solid number of punches being landed, to the delight of the redneck fans....

Tony La Russa Brian Billick Appeared On A Game Show Roughly 30 34 Years Ago, And Nobody Knew Who He Was
Up until a few weeks before this 1977 appearance on The Match Game, awesomely-jacketed Brian Billick "was playing professional football." The coaches didn't think he was "quite the caliber" that a professional football player should be, though, which is why he still haunts us from the broadcast bo...

The Hunt Is On For A Great White Shark That Killed An American Diver In Australian Waters
"A man has been killed in a shark attack off Western Australia's Rottnest Island. Orders have been issued for the shark to be hunted down and killed after the fatal attack on a 32-year-old American man off the Island near Perth. Two companions of the scuba diver saw bubbles erupt on the water this...

Watch Cristiano Ronaldo Get A First-Half Hat Trick, Cop A Cheap Feel Of Air
Start this one at the 0:23 mark. You'll see the cheeky celebration, then the goal. Actually, it's a filthy good goal, too. Here's the first part of the hat trick, and here's the second....

Wolverhampton Fans Taunt "Know-Nothing" Coach, Leave And Miss Team's Comeback
When you're a football club in the English Premier League, you're not supposed to lose to teams freshly promoted from the minors. That's what the Wolverhampton Wolves with a 3-0 drubbing delivered by QPR in September. And that's what it looked like the Wolverhampton Wolves were about to do against...

Watch This Really Nice Glove Save From The Avalanche/Blackhawks Game
From last Thursday night's Blackhawks/Avalanche game, Chicago's Marcus Kruger probably thought he'd given his team a 3-1 lead with his first NHL goal. Colorado goalie Semyon Varlamov wasn't having it. Marian Hossa would score about three minutes later, though, so it was kind of all for naught....

Louisville Football Player Breaks Neck Making Tackle Against Rutgers
In last night's game versus Rutgers, Louisville cornerback Anthony Conner broke his neck making a tackle. Here's now the hometown newspaper described the play:...

There Were Two Buzzer-Beaters In The NHL Last Night
Ryan McDonagh's putback after a Dan Girardi prayer caromed behind the net gave the Rangers a 3-2 win in overtime. Dany Heatley's bad-angle flick off of Nikolai Khabibulin's chest at the end of regulation salvaged a point for Minnesota, and eventually a second one with a shootout win. Both goals we...

Kevin Walter Called Cortland Finnegan A Prick
Texans WR Kevin Walter went on The Big Show on 790 in Houston this morning to talk Sunday's battle for the heart of the AFC South. You can listen to the whole interview over there, but we've pulled out the bulletin board material, as the kids like to say. Walter, who will probably be covered by Fi...

There Is Also Full Video Of The Arizona Streaker Disrobing And Getting Driven Into The Ground By Security
Like some sort of Zapruder film for jackasses, this follows dude from the moment he enters the field until he is escorted off. You don't get to see the fight that ensued between the players as it unfolds, though. For that, be sure to go here. [h/t to Adam and Randall]...