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Jozy Altidore Leads AZ Alkmaar To First Dutch Cup In 31 Years
American Jozy Altidore scored what turned out to be the winning goal for AZ Alkmaar in a 2-1 upset over PSV Eindhoven in today's Dutch Cup final, delivering AZ its first Cup since 1982....

Yep, Charles Barkley Still Wants To Kill Skip Bayless
It's been eight years since Charles Barkley first said Skip Bayless was "one of the two people I'd like to kill." He's done little to hide his contempt for Bayless's jackassery ever since. Two nights ago on TNT, Barkley delightfully reminded us his hatred will never die....

Joe Girardi Batted His Pitcher Eighth And Had Vernon Wells Play Third
I don't know how much of this was Girardi and how much was The Binder, but somehow, for some reason, Joe Girardi managed a May game against the Rockies like it was an 18-inning World Series Game 7. And it...worked?...

Bear Vs. Monkey Bicycle Race Ends With Bear Eating Monkey
Oh god, China....

Klay Thompson Does A Damn Good Steph Curry Impersonation
Game 2 goes to Golden State, on the backs of an unconscious Klay Thompson and some crucial makes from Steph Curry. If not for a once-in-a-decade San Antonio comeback, they would be up 2-0. They should be. But the what-ifs don't matter if one what-if is legit—if the Warriors, on the strength of their...

This Bicycle Kick From Thierry Henry Was A Game-Winner
This goal came off a corner kick in the 88th minute to put the New York Red Bulls up 2-0 on the Montreal Impact....

Toronto Maple Leafs Lose, WAGs Exchange Death Eyes
This may take a bit of explaining, but stick with us, it is the best. The blonde to the right there is Hockey Queen Elisha Cuthbert. She is currently engaged to Maple Leafs captain Dion Phaneuf. The brunette sitting one row below is married to Maple Leafs goaltender James Reimer. Both men were invol...

Toronto's Mark Fraser Takes Puck To The Face
With about 12 minutes remaining in the third period of Game 4 against the Bruins, Toronto defenseman Mark Fraser was hit directly in the head with a puck....

Taj Gibson Goes On F-Bomb Tirade After Game 2 Ejection
Game 2 between the Heat and Bulls was a real snoozer until early in the fourth quarter when referee Scott Foster and the Bulls decided no one wanted to hang around to see the rest of the game play out....

Kris Letang Cross-Checked A Linesman. That's A Suspension...Right?
Between Eric Gryba getting two games for a borderline hit that resulted in injury, and nobody from this Sens-Habs mess being punished, NHL playoff discipline seems even more "spin the wheel" than usual. But shoving an official would seem pretty clear-cut, no?...

White Sox Pitcher Hector Santiago Forgets His Turn To Bat
Hector Santiago pitched so well last night that the Mets' Matt Harvey didn't even get the win even though he took a perfect game into the seventh inning. But when he was due to hit with two outs in the sixth, Santiago was nowhere to be found. Stupid interleague play....

Wrestler Moonsaults Himself Out Of The Ring, With Disastrous Results
If you're even going to try a corkscrew moonsault, always be sure to be balanced properly before launching yourself skyward. Failing that, you should at least be certain to leap in the right direction. Sigh. You know what? Whatever you do, don't do anything this guy did....

Joel Hanrahan Fastball Punctures Hole In Sign
Joel Hanrahan is not off to a grand start as the Red Sox closer. But last night, just before he gave up a game-tying homer to the Twins' Brian Dozier, he did manage to destroy an ad behind home plate. That has to count for something, right?...

Deadspin I-Team: Who Is The Shrieking Spurs Fan?
Last night's Warriors-Spurs double-OT thriller was exciting, but many fans at home struggled to fully integrate themselves into the game experience thanks to a shrill Spurs fan whose voice came through loud and clear on TNT's broadcast....

Matt Kemp Gives A Young Disabled Fan His Cap, Jersey, And Shoes
Yeah, this is great....

Hey, It's 25 Years (And A Day) Since Jim Schoenfeld Told "Fat Pig" Don Koharski To "Have Another Doughnut"
Yeah, the anniversary was actually yesterday—oops. But let's say that today is 25 years from the morning-after media coverage. Had this happened today, it would have exploded the internet....

Marco Belinelli's Giant Balls Earned Him A $15,000 Fine
Of all the people to finish off the Nets, who'd have guessed it would be Joe Johnson Marco Belinelli? But it was Belinelli's massive invisible testicles, whipped out in celebration after this clutch three, that got the NBA's attention....

Fart Interrupts Snooker World Championship Semifinal
Ronnie O'Sullivan is en route to his fifth snooker world championship title, but his win over Judd Trump in the semifinal was a real stinker....

Boston College Softball Player Goes Over Fence To Make Amazing Catch
Georgia Tech's Alysha Rudnik hit the ball over the fence to lead off yesterday's third inning. But BC senior centerfielder Maria Pandolfo jumped and lunged over the fence to take away her certain homer, startling even the person who had been taking video just a few feet away....

Habs Coach Michel Therrien Has A Curious Definition Of "Classless"
Ottawa is in the Canadiens' heads. There's no other way to describe it, after a 6-1 Senators victory that included 236 minutes in penalties, and a third period that saw the Habs actively and repeatedly try to hurt their opponents. Oh, but Paul MacLean called a timeout!...