w Page 4802 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

More "Colbert Report" Than "After M*A*S*H*"
It is with much glee that we point out that the mad scientists at Yard Work — the brilliant satirical site featuring mock columns from ESPN luminaries, along with Rickey Henderson, Ozzie Guillen and countless others — have launched their first spinoff site: the affectionately named Hard Wood, whic...

Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's The Next Gay Athlete?
With Sheryl Swoopes' earth-shaking announcement that she was (no!) a lesbian, tongues are wagging (sorry) about who the next — i.e., actually surprising — athlete to come out of the closet will be. Our friends at Oddjack have helpfully lay out the odds on five heavily rumored to be gay athletes, p...

Another Way Of Alleviating Baseball's Aches And Pains
Excellent pick up by The Sports Frog: A "massage parlor" in Princeton, N.J., has been accused of doing more massaging on the lower ventral areas of its clients' bodies than on the upper dorsal. The Newark Star-Ledger — your source for all breaking illicit massage parlor news — says the woman who r...

Ted Williams Es Hombre Muy Macho
The Boston Globe brings up something about Red Sox great Ted Williams we'd never heard before: He was of Mexican ancestry on his mother's side. This is mentioned in the context of last night's "Latino Legends" ceremony before the White Sox's World Series win, in which the all-time Latino team was ...

The (Gasp) Michael Jordan Backlash
True Hoop brings up something we've been noticing in recent years: People are finding it acceptable to trash Michael Jordan. In retirement, it's safer to take jabs, we guess....

Former Coach Picks Up Swoopes' Board
So ESPN has the "first-person" narrative from Sheryl Swoopes announcing that she's a lesbian — or, as YAYSports! put it, "Sheryl Swoopes Is Admitting To Hot Lesbian Action" — and it's a good read. The most fascinating part is how Swoopes made the transition from mother going through a divorce to a...

Your World Champion Chicago White Sox
Well, huge congratulations to the Chicago White Sox, winners of the World Series, a sentence that makes us feel crazy just to type it. People — including a few people already on our comment boards — may say that the White Sox caught all the breaks and only won close games, including last night, bu...

Can The White Sox Become All-Time Greats?
Well, as Fear And Faith In Flushing sadly put it yesterday, we've reached that depressing point when we realize the baseball season is almost over. The White Sox could win their first World Series since before the Red Sox began all their suffering, and the Astros, as pretty much headline writer in...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as, somewhere, someone is buying this CD (shudder!) ... • World Series, Game 4: Roof open? Roof closed? We say bring back the multicolored jerseys — that'll turn the tide. Chicago White Sox at Houston Astros, tonight. [Fox] • NHL: Lightning at Devils. Continental Airlines Arena, prepar...

Wait Until The Story About Indians Catcher Vicodin Martinez
Warren St. John at Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer brings our attention to a correction in today's New York Times:...

Get Your Short, Balding Guys!
A friend of ours — one of those overeducated, statistically minded fellows who believes an MBA, a cellphone and lots of Diet Coke can solve all the world's problems — says that if he were owner of a sports team, he'd pay three times what everyone else pays for high-quality general managers, becaus...

Swoopes Pulls Back Mask On Lesbianism In WNBA
Well, we've all been curious who the first high-profile athlete to announce that they're gay would be, and now that Houston Comets MVP Sheryl Swoopes has done it, well, we guess we're still kind of waiting. No offense to Swoopes, of course, who is one of the best players in WNBA history and actual...

Astros Are Texas Toast
News And Notes From A Crazy, Crazy Game • You know what would have been kind of funny? If Astros manager Phil Garner, just a split second after throwing that chair, realized that Craig Biggio's wife had been standing right behind him. "God-DAMN it ... oh. Uh, sorry, Patty." • Does that home run p...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as a giant flatbed truck hauls your house to a better neighborhood ... • World Series, Game 3: Chicago White Sox at Houston Astros. Minute Maid Park doffs its lid, hoping fresh air will turn the tide. [Fox] • NHL: Florida at Pittsburgh. It's getting a little chippy in here. [OLN] • Fig...

Previewing The Inevitable Umpiring Fiascos
As mentioned regularly here, we're not that much into gambling, mainly because we find watching sports stressful enough without our parents' rent check riding on it, but thankfully our pals at Oddjack has a stronger taste for vice than we do. And he has unearthed a useful tidbit today, one we've a...

Why Your Hometown Columnist Sucks: Bud Poliquin
There must be a school out there, some sort of Hogwarts-inspired academy where columnists go to learn the art of lousy column writing. It can't just be a coincidence that our worst sports columnists, people such as Woody Paige, Jay Mariotti and this week's featured guest, Bud Poliquin, are all see...

Giants Owner Wellington Mara Dies
Longtime Giants owner — and just about the only sports owner we can ever remember professing affection for, if just because he was old and spindly — Wellington Mara has died at the age of 89. Mara was one of the most influential owners in sports history, pioneering the notion of sharing television...

Sky Closing In On Astros
For the first time this postseason, the roof at Enron Field/Dick Cheney Field/Minute Maid Park will be open this evening, and that has just about everyone but the White Sox unhappy. In the other postseason games, the roof was closed, and it made for a deafening atmosphere that greatly benefited th...

There Will Be No Sheep Tackling Here, No Sir!
To close out this sleepy Monday, we bring you sport from the other side of the pond; more specifically, the banning of such. The BBC reports that in New Zealand — wait ... that's not really "the other side of the pond," is it?; sorry, we went to grade school in the United States and thusly know no...

To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the CSI folks go through another 12 gross of plastic Ziplock baggies ... • MNF: New York Jets at Atlanta Falcons. Both starting quarterbacks are hurt and/or gimpy, which always makes for terrific ratings. [ABC] • NHL: Detroit at Columbus. The Blue Jackets make their first appearance...