w Page 4827 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Closer: In Which We Inadvertantly Prop Up The White Sox
Notes from a day in baseball:...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the Soloflex in your den files for divorce ... • MLB: New York Yankees at Chicago White Sox. While you're waiting for the game to begin, why not head over to Hawk Harrelson's blog and watch as he takes shots at Mickey Rooney for no apparent reason. [WGN] • Tennis: ATP Masters Series...
Lord Help Us: They're Doing The Wave At Wrigley
Our personal favorite moment of our night at RFK Stadium was when the tiny smattering of Nationals fans spread throughout the place tried to cobble together a version of The Wave. The response of our Deadspin corner was instantaneous: We scoffed, scowled, booed, grumbled. We were very proud....
"Interests: Redskins, Clubs And GETTIN' DRUNK"
It just wouldn't be the NFL without some truly obsessed, frightening fans, and we've got some pretty worthy ones in the Dead Tree Crew, backers of the Washington Redskins and almost certainly the type of guys who beat up Daniel Snyder in high school....
The Contest Results Are In
It's something the sight of which caused Mrs. Costanza to stumble and throw out her back, and truthfully, if she had seen this, it would have killed her. The 2006 Masturbate-a-thon is now in the record books, as approximately 50 participants — mostly men, and not including Mike Cooper — "dragged t...
Go Toward The Light, Emmitt
You thought that finishing his career flat on the turf of Sun Devil Stadium was the most embarassing final image of all-time rushing champ Emmitt Smith one could come up with....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Madden's HOF induction speech enters its fifth hour ... • Basketball: Men's national team, USA vs. China, at Guangzhou, China. For those attending, here's how to get there. Find Hong Kong, then go north until you hit "a prosperous metropolis full of vigor." Oh, and also, here's who ...
Do NOT Mess With This Woman
We have always assumed that if a woman were to end up breaking through to compete on the highest professional athletic level, it would not be as a kicker, as has often been tried: It would be as a knuckleball pitcher in baseball. It doesn't hinge on strength, endurance or speed; it just requires pra...
"Unfortunately, We Don't Have That Tape Either"
From the "Boom Goes The Dynamite" file comes this decade-old but new-to-us clip of a Quincy, Ill. CBS affiliate....
Oxnard Must Be An Entertaining Camp
Few athletes give us more joy, in a "Jeez, look how far this idiot has fallen" type of way, than former Eagles dope Freddie Mitchell. Last time we checked in with him, he was considering offers from Jon Bon Jovi's team in the Arena League....
The Most Famous Buzzsaw Cheerleader
So here's the best story we've heard all day, even though it's only new to us. If any of you out there, like us, religiously watch "The Office" — we even watch the repeats — you're familiar with Phyllis, the portly saleswoman who knits and is happy in love with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration....
Why We'd Sign With The Utah Jazz
Last week, the New York Daily News uncovered a steroid ring that could end up affecting some of the biggest, most beloved names in our sport. Today, their rivals at the New York Post uncovered that baseball players cheat on their wives....
To Watch Tonight...
• MLB: Phillies @ Mets. I could gaze into Mr. Met's beautiful eyes for hours. 8:00, ESPN. • NFL: Raiders vs. Eagles. Whichever team has more fans arrested by halftime wins. 8:00, NBC. • Movie: Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo. Yeah, ball hair. What we need is a strike here. 8:00, FX....
Colonless Guy Scores 132 Points In Two Games
It's probably a little bit unfair to refer to DeJuan Wagner as an anonymous colonless guy, but he has been fairly anonymous over the past couple of years. He was once the next big thing, a scoring machine in high school, and the 6th-overall pick in the NBA draft. His game never translated that well ...
Evidently, Larry Flynt Is In The Basketball Court Painting Business
I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this. What you are looking at is the court on which Team USA drubbed Puerto Rico last night in an exhibition basketball game. And, as was noted at sethgunderson.com, the lane looks a little... well, penile....
To Watch Tonight...
• NASCAR. Busch Series, Kroger 200. Talledega Nights taught me all about the slingshot maneuver. 9:00, TNT. • World Cup Soccer. Czech Republic vs. United States. If the MLS All-Star Game didn't convince you that we still suck at soccer... Oops. 10:00, ESPNU. • NFL. Green Bay Packers Intrasquad Scrim...
Week In Deadspin: We Miss The Chorizo Already
• You bring us the chorizo, and then you take it away. Do not tease us with your chorizo. • Whither the white wide receiver. • Interesting strategy to sell video games. • Mike Tirico would rather you not bring this up again. • Here is what is inside Bobby Abreu's head. • Smell Jeter! • If Simmons ...
To Watch Tonight
What you missed while deciding, apropos of nothing, to work late on Friday ... • Boxing: Anthony Peterson vs. Jose Soto, at Memphis. What division is this? Flyweight? Paperweight? Pantyweight? [ESPN2] • Extreme sports: X Games, at Carson, Calif. Have you ever taken your bike off of some sweet jumps?...
Gentlemen, Start Your Wanking
Right now Carl Monday is snapping down the protective visor on his riot helmet, scrambling into the back of the WKYC Action News van and yelling "Let's roll!" Yes, the big Masturbate-A-Thon is tomorrow,* which, if you live in Europe, still leaves you plenty of time to get to Drop Studios in London...
Joe Torre, Back When He Had To Work A Little Bit
Even among people who hate the Yankees, there is a grudging respect for manager Joe Torre, who exemplifies class, stoicism and wisdom in a game that many consider often lacking in all three....