w Page 4828 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

This Evening: The Giant Fish Tank That Doubles As A Headboard On Chad Ochocinco's Bed
Your p.m. roundup for Aug. 30, the day we learned you weren't comfortable knowing you were our masturbation fodder. Photo courtesy Shutdown Corner, via Sportress of Blogitude. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Miami Players Who Got Cash And Cars From Nevin Shapiro May Have To Pay Benefits Back In Bankruptcy Court
Oh, boo. Not only is this gang of Miami players being unfairly scapegoated for violating silly rules of a bloated, ineffective system—now they might have to give back the rewards they got....

New Orleans TV Network Hires Notoriously Flaky Fred Hickman
Hickman, formerly of CNN, ESPN, and the YES Network, heads down to New Orleans to be sports director at WVUE-TV. SportsGrid also mentioned Hickman's checkered job past which were highlighted in this little Deadspin post: "Number ten...Fred." (PHOTO: Erskine.edu)...

Helmetless South Carolina Football Player Crashes Moped While Trying To Carry A Pizza
College football players seem to be having a tough time navigating mopeds and scooters. Last year, there was the Kentucky running back who broke his arm during an accident, followed by the Iowa lineman whose frightening crash into a truck was captured on video. Then came Georgia, where coach Mark R...

Why The 1991 Saints Dropped Their Lame "Cha-Ching" Catchphrase
The New Orleans Saints won their first division title in 1991, which is weird both because the Saints had been around for more than two decades before that point and because the 1991 Saints were a weird team. They were 11-5. Steve Walsh and Bobby Hebert split time at QB, and neither played well. Gil...

Ed Hochuli Says The Beach Is *Flexes* THATAWAY
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: the muscliest of refs talks about the new rule changes....

Gilbert Arenas Deletes Account After Twitter Fight, Depriving World Of Free Sneakers And Sexism
We'll say this about Gilbert Arenas's Twitter account, which was taken down some time today: it wasn't boring, like LeBron James's worthless feed, and it wasn't used for incessant self-promotion, like, well, every pro athlete ever. It was just sort of obsessed with sneakers and almost criminally off...

I-Team: Help Us Identify The Poor Woman Who Was Hit In The Face With A Baseball
We led off this morning with a photo of the woman who had the misfortune of having a foul ball ricochet off her face at last night's Yankees-Orioles game. We hear she (thankfully) has not been seriously injured. But we'd like your assistance in identifying who she is. Video of the incident is abov...

Peyton Hillis: Not A Great Tipper
We were sent the business half of this receipt, purporting to show Cleveland wunderwhite Peyton Hillis's sub-10% tip. The sender-inner will only say that this went down at a "nice" restaurant, but a $105 bill is pretty paltry compared to others we've seen. Maybe it's "Ohio nice."...

Yes, Anderson Silva Is Being Likened To Muhammad Ali...
And Michael Jordan. And Wayne Gretzky. Okay, fine. Anderson Silva is a great athlete. He mauled Yushin Okami last weekend at UFC 134. But Ali, Jordan, and Gretzky rolled into one? Come now. Come. Let us not forget that a year ago, Silva was the one getting mauled for five rounds by Chael Sonnen unti...

A Former Six Flags Employee Contributes To Our Satirical, Non-Libelous Dan Snyder Group Fiction
Consider this your daily link to Dave McKenna's "Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder," but here it is again for good measure. We'll post this until Dan Snyder's dumbass libel suit is dosed with a few micrograms of polonium-210. (For those of you keeping track, this is "We Are All Dave McKenna ...

Watch The Stanley Cup Fall Down Go Boom, Get Dented
Just another battle scar for the old girl, who's seen plenty of dings and feces in her lifetime. The Cup was in St. John's, Newfoundland, preparing for its helicopter trip to Michael Ryder's hometown of Bonavista. After Ryder set it down on a table (with official NHL tablecloth), the whole damn thin...

Tennis Players Awkwardly Navigate The Post-Match Kiss
Gael Monfils beat Grigor Dimitrov in the opening round of the US Open last night, 7-6 (4), 6-3, 6-4, and then met at the net for the most awkward kiss since middle school. (Although it is certainly possible that it only seems that way to unsophisticated Americans like us.)...

Jay Buhner Totally Called Mike Carp's Home Run Last Night
Buhner, the goateed outfielder-turned-occasional-broadcaster for Mariners games, did little more than deploy a little hopeful homerism here. But he timed it perfectly....

In 1964, USC Trojans In Training Had To Do A Whole Lot Of "Trotting"
It seems impossible now, but student-athletes were once students before they were athletes. And one of the coaching staff's main problems was to make sure their players stayed active over the summer. Training camp was only two weeks long, not nearly long enough to whip them into shape if they weren'...

What ESPN Will Be Talking About Today: Yankees-Freaking-Red Sox; Also, Herm Edwards Is Still Yelling
We condense your morning SportsCenter to its essence....

NFL Will Kick Off Exciting New Season With Worst Concert Of All Time
"Kid Rock, Lady Antebellum and Maroon 5 will play the 'NFL Kickoff 2011' concert outside Lambeau Field before the Green Bay Packers' Sept. 8 opener against the New Orleans Saints." [AP]...

Kobe Bryant To Filipina Cheerleader Who Asked For A Kiss: "Not Here"
Because, you know, there were cameras rolling and stuff. This happened a little more than a month ago, but still....

Eric Chavez Can't Quite Make The Save
Your morning roundup for Aug. 30, the day we still couldn't score seats at Fenway. Photo via tipster Adam. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

Found: Brewers Girl Is "Front-Row" Amy Williams, And She's Enjoying Getting To Know Deadspin's Readers
We dispatched the I-Team yesterday to solve the mystery of the lady who sits behind home plate at many Milwaukee Brewers games. A reader wanted to know who she was, presumably so she could spread her joy and Brewers fandom with the world at large....