w Page 4890 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as ... hey! Vladimir Putin stole the remote! · Operation Desert Snore: Giants at Diamondbacks. · Golf: Ask your doctor if the Cialis Western Open is right for you. · Trey Bien! WNBA Sacramento Monarchs at New York Liberty....
Jeter, A-Rod Exchanging Blows. This Time It's Not In A Gay Way
We were all waiting to see when Yankees gay icons Derek Jeter and Alex Rodriguez were going to finally have a lover's spat. According to Radar Online — who would know, we suppose — it happened last week. The report, attributed to a TV producer who apparently gives his/her scoops to Radar rather t...
Kraft Meant To Give The Ring All Along! Of course!
Patriots owner Robert Kraft now says that he meant to give Russian president Vladimir Putin his Super Bowl ring in the first place....
About Last Night ...
What you missed while picking up various items thrown by Kenny Rogers ... · Pride of Pawtucket: Schilling impressive in minor league rehab start · Biggio ouch! sets modern-day ow! baseball record Jesus, that hurts! · Braves, Marlins treat fans to 4 hours, 14 minutes of sweltering, error-plagued hell...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the melting ice cap slowly submerges your front yard ... · Yankees at Orioles. Torre gets by-the-hour rate at Hyatt Regency Baltimore. · Wimbledon not-so-live: How come no one ever calls each other "dawg" in tennis? · ESPN Classic: 1984 San Francisco 49ers. Come with us now to a tim...
He Should Have At Least Gotten Some Vodka Out Of It
Patriots owner Robert Kraft was out doing what huge capitalists do this week: Meeting with leaders of other countries and gladhanding them enough so they'll give them some free shit down the line. Kraft shook hands with Russian president Vladimir Putin and, to show off, handed Putin his Patriots ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while Dick Cheney entertained us with an hour of televised vetriloquism ... · NBA Draft: Andrew Bogut becomes first to bend down and shake David Stern's sweaty little palm. · Steinbrenner, Damacles have closed-door meeting. · Roenick removes foot from mouth, finds ice skate attached....
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch While The Dog And The Cat Are In The Next Room Plotting A Takeover ... · David Stern Presents the NBA Draft. Couldn't Billy Crystal host it just once? · Yankees at Orioles: Joe Torre funeral procession swings through Maryland. · Wimbledon Highlights. You know you want them....
NBA Draft Predictions: Trying To Piss In The Dark While Handcuffed
As previously mentioned, the NBA Draft is tonight. This, of course, is a completely random exercise with 30 different variables liable to change their minds for no particular reason at any given moment. But sportswriters get bored, so we present the Deadspin guide to mock drafts by people who don'...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Chasing The Ice Cream Truck Eight Blocks For A Creamsicle ... · Indians at last give Red Sox fans something to complain about. [Tribe Report] · A day after hiring Ferry, Cavaliers turn down Larry. [LeBron And The Cavs] · Yankees win, pissing off Steinbrenner even more. [Bronx B...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch As The Undead Rise Outside And Search For Human Flesh ... · Indians at Red Sox: Antidote to all the bad baseball we've been watching. · Braves at Marlins · Night Court: Wimbledon recap. No John Larroquette....
Cricket Star Not Well-Endowed, Kind of Chubby
Warne, whom the British tabloids have been tracking for years, is being divorced by his wife after he was nailed for cheating on his her for the umpteenth time. This in itself is not necessarily newsworthy; athletes, we hear, are known to sleep around a bit, maybe, not sure. But the story here is pr...
Hey, Sometimes You Need A Place To Sleep During Devil Rays Games
Well, it was only a matter of time. The Tampa Bay Devil Rays — the saddest, cheapest, most desperate franchise in baseball — has taken to selling furniture at the ballpark. Seriously. The D-Rays have a deal with a local furniture outlet to sell ottomans and sofas and all kinds of things you lie d...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while hiding from your pit bull ... · We So 'Horny: Texas wins College World Series. · Yankees Salvage Win In Ninth Over Mets: Trained snipers on roof slowly lower rifles aimed at Jason Giambi's head. · Zoom, Zoom: Tony Stewart wins NASCAR Save Mart 350....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch now that Elimidate has been cancelled ... · Wimbledon, Day 5: Federer and Roddick try to liven up this dying party. · It's a small world after all: LA Dodgers vs. LA Angels at an undisclosed location near Disneyland. · Subway Series: Wouldn't this be the worst time ever for a newspaper...
This Week In Weird Foreign Sports
We tend to find European sports terminology hilarious, mainly because it points to how equally absurd American sports terminology is. We all might know what "a blooper to shallow left" means, but to anyone not intimately familiar with baseball terminology, that's just nonsensical babbling. So here...
Tracking The Sportswriter Hacks
Yesterday, we speculated how much backtracking each of the major sports pundits would do if they were wrong about last night's Game 7 of the NBA Finals. Here's a look:...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to unionize the neighbor kid's ant farm ... · Spurs win NBA title 92 days before their 2005-06 exhibition season begins. · Cardinals' Morris (8-1) finally tastes defeat/sushi. · See you later, alligator: Florida advances to College World Series finals....
To Watch Tonight ...
What to watch as the cops make various demands outside by bullhorn ... · Game 7, Pistons at Spurs: Let's see who the media can blame this time. · College World Series, Double-Elimination Round: Florida vs. ASU. Loser gets to leave Nebraska! · U.S. Open Women's Golf Championship. Or, as they call it ...
Tracking The Sportswriter Hacks
Tonight is Game 7 of the NBA Finals, which always inspires Cheetos-stained hacks to break out all their superlatives and bold proclamations. Like all sportswriters, they presume that no one will remember today's birdcage liner when tomorrow's hotsheets come out. But they are wrong. We are watching...