w Page 4902 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Boobs. Is There Anything Else Newsworthy?
You didn't think we'd ignore this all day, did you? The New York Post features a sports column today from the only person who knows less about the NBA than Peter Vescey: Anna Benson! The wife of overpaid Mets righthander Kris Benson penned the first of what will hopefully be millions of NY Post d...
To Watch Tonight ...
What To Watch Tonight Instead Of Chuckling At Soldiers Glaring At Nick Lachey: Game 1: Pistons at Heat: Little men make Shaq mad! Shaq crush little men! White Sox at Angels: The game will be played somewhere in the Los Angeles area. We're not allowed to say exactly where. Pirates at Cardinals: If Bo...
Bo Bice: The New Reggie Miller
Those looking for next "clutch" player to replace Reggie "Never Won A Title But Am Somehow Considered The Best Crunch Time Guy Ever" Miller should turn their eyes away from the court and toward lousy FOX reality television, says Flak's Bob Cook in his weekly "Bring Out The Sports!" column. (We re...
Tiger Woods Remains World's Whitest Man
Tiger Woods didn't play in whatever bland, corporate-sponsored backslap-fest the PGA Tour hosted last weekend, but that's because he was in Las Vegas. Gambling away millions? Snorting lines off stripper cleavage? Drinking milk past its expiration date? Anything? Of course not. It's Tiger Woods. H...
Ricky Williams 15 Pounds Lighter, And It Ain't The Hair
In the wake of the news that Ricky Williams is eager to rejoin the Miami Dolphins, Florida Today's Carl Kotala gives five reasons why Ricky should return and, to be all schizo on us, five reasons why he shouldn't. Being a sportswriter, he throws a couple lame Whizzinator and Lenny Kravitz jokes i...
The Mustache Is The Most Thing Normal About Them
We don't know whether or not this is offically classified as a "sport" or not, but SportsFilter directs us to the preliminaries of the World Beard and Mustache Championship. The real finals are in October, but the training goes on year round. (Weird soldier outfit is optional.) Interestingly enoug...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while secretly watching Desperate Housewives ......
To Watch Tonight ...
Fever has reached 109 degrees. So weak. Must ... reach ... remote ... Game 6: Spurs at SuperSonics: With one more win, San Antonio's Manu Ginobili can totally buy whatever country it is he comes from. Diamondbacks at Astros: Just for laughs Clemens should come out wearing a Yankees cap. Game 6: Pist...
Steinbrenner Still Alive And, Apparently, Vaguely Alert
Like everyone, we were beginning to wonder if George Steinbrenner was stashed away in an old-folks home somewhere, terrorizing the arts and craft room and insisting that old ladies shave their facial hair. But alas: He's still around, giving an interview with the YES Network that will air Sunday...
Always Bet On Red
We love it when academics get bored. According to a couple of "British anthropologists," teams and athletes that wear the color red are more likely to be successful. "Across a range of sports, we find that wearing red is consistently associated with a higher probability of winning," says one of the ...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while waiting in line for Star Wars tickets ... Suns go up 3-2 on Mavericks: Revenge of the Ewok as Nash goes for 34 against old team. Another setback for Bonds: He's attached to an IV in emergency attempt to distill some humility. M's end Yankees' win streak at 10: You may now resu...
To Watch Tonight ...
What to do tonight instead of feigning interest in your family. Game 5: Dallas Mavericks at Phoenix Suns: This game won't end until after 1 a.m. on the East Coast. ER doctors and 7-Eleven clerks will be talking about this one for days. Texas Rangers at Chicago White Sox: Until now we knew the White...
California Legislature Publicly Confesses Boredom
Angels owner Arte Moreno is the type of guy we like. In case you forgot, this guy got around the Angels' agreement with the city of Anaheim that he would keep their city in the team's name by calling them the "Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim," knowing full well that the name would just be shortened...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Fishing The Remote Out Of The Koi Pond ... Pistons Go Up 3-2 Against Pacers. Scoring 67 points in the first half, Indiana went on to ... wait ... 67 points for the game? The fat fan who tried to slug Ron Artest suits up for Pacers in Game 6. Yankees Win 10th Straight. Jason Gia...
To Watch Tonight
What To Do Tonight Instead of Interacting With Other Humans Game 5: Indiana Pacers at Detroit Pistons. Seriously, guys, just get in fight. Honestly. We don't mind. Be our guest. Game 5: Seattle Supersonics at San Antonio Spurs. Ray Allen looks to top that sex scene in He Got Game. Though that would ...
"We Went To The Super Bowl. Uh, Flip Card. Daunte Speaks Next."
We know you're watching the George Lopez Show anyway, so we shouldn't need to tell you this, but if you're in the mood for pained line readings and rapidly declining hairlines, Eagles quarterback Donovan McNabb and Vikings quarterback Daunte Culpepper are guest starring on the season (though, sadly,...
About Last Night ...
What You Missed While Trying To Figure Out If Ray Romano Is Actually Older Than Peter Boyle ... Yankees Win Ninth Straight. Corpose of Bernie Williams hits a grand slam and, somehow, makes his own way all around the bases. Padres Move Into Tie For First. Somehow, Julio Franco stole a base. Seriously...
To Watch Tonight
What To Do Tonight Instead of Interacting With Other Humans Texas Rangers at Chicago White Sox. ESPN's Game of the Night, with Orlando Hernandez, who escaped Cuba, facing Chan Ho Park, whom Texas would love to go back to Korea. Atlanta Braves at San Diego PadresOffensive Native American mascot battl...
Terrell Owens and Stephen A. Smith: Joined At The Mouth
We just heard this: Stephen A. Smith is apparently not just the guy screaming in our faces on SportsCenter every night. It appears he also writes columns. And they're causing some fuss too: His column on Sunday detailed a secret, intense riff between Terrell Owens and Donovan McNabb, essentially acc...
Goodbye, Raymond
As you might have heard, tonight is the last night for "Everybody Loves Raymond," a television show that apparently is watched by a lot of people, though nobody we know. It's easy to forget — what, with all the hijinks and wacky misadventures — that the character of Raymond is supposed to be a sport...