w Page 4939 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Just When You Thought Gymnastics Could Not Get Any Creepier...
...here is sixteen year-old Olympic gold and silver medalist Shawn Johnson doing a commercial for tacos. If you listen closely in the background, you can hear a radio playing "Rock and Roll parts 1 & 2": ...

Just Don't Follow Him to Any Golden Clubs
You've got to give the kid credit: he does not shy away from insurmountable expectations. After following in his father's legendary footsteps at Georgetown, Patrick Ewing Jr., son of NBA Hall of Famer (scans NBA almanac) Patrick Ewing, is now a New York Knick. It's already Junior's third team, and h...

Aye Carumba! Chad Johnson Changes Last Name To Ocho Cinco
So Bengals wideout Chad Johnson has legally changed his name to "Chad Javon Ocho Cinco." Which I guess is only slightly better than "Chad Javon GoldenPalace.com." Chad expects to play in the Bengals' season opener, despite suffering a dislocated shoulder in the preseason and creating more needlework...

For Your Viewing Pleasure: The First Step is Admitting You Have a Problem
What to watch while praying David Duchovny gets the help he needs... • In progress — Sport: U.S. Open Tennis Third Round Coverage [CBS] - Admit it: you need your Mary Carillo fix. • 12:00 — Sport: Syracuse at Northwestern [ESPN2] - Why should the ranked teams get all the love? • 3:00 — Sport: PGA To...

Gustav Evacuees Prompt LSU To Bump Kickoff Up To 11 AM ET
For those of you that thought our first college football Saturday couldn't start soon enough, you're in luck. That is, unless you live near the Gulf Coast, in which case you're probably running for your life from Hurricane Gustav. The Class 3 hurricane is expected to hit the Gulf Coast sometime Mon...

Week In Review: You Know, Sarah Palin Was Once A Budding Hannah Storm
So can somebody out there dig up some footage of "presumptive" GOP VP Sarah Palin in her days as a fledgling sports reporter in Anchorage? Does that footage even exist or did it melt inside some igloo? This is, though, an interesting choice. Kind of takes the teary-eyed sparkle off of Obama's Victor...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you get home via the awesome power of beer ... • Boxing: Champion Matt Godfrey vs. Emmanuel Nwodo, in Uncasville, Conn. (9 p.m., ET). Title Wave engulfs Mohegan Sun Arena. [ESPN2] • College football: Temple at Army (7 p.m., ET) [ESPN Classic]; Southern Methodist at Rice (8 p.m., ...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Week
ESPN scoured its message boards to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ... • "LPGA's intentions are good, but suspending players and an 'English-only' rule isn't the way." — SheldonOvertonPrevious ESPN Featured Commentg of the Week, plus a Feat...

U.S. Open Update: Ivanovic Out, But Hot Girlfriend Boxes Intact
Dylan Stableford writes occasionally about tennis for Deadspin. It's called "Droppin' Deuce With Dylan Stableford." This week, he's at the U.S. Open, watching tennis and taking creepy pictures of Brooklyn Decker from afar. Heading into the first weekend of the Flushing fortnight, we've lost one sult...

Cops Tell Different Tale About Fan Who Was Ejected Over "God Bless America"
The above video is of Yankee Stadium God-dismissing, anti-American Brad Campeau Laurion who enlightened us (and, seemingly, hundreds of other media outlets) about being forcibly escorted out of Yankee Stadium Tuesday night after he tried to go to the bathroom during the traditional 7th-inning rendi...

GTGs Are Gangsta, In A J.C. Penny Back-To-School-Sale Kind Of Way
If Georgia Tech goes on to football greatness this year they can thank two things: the new triple option offense, and the GTGs; that campus hip hop duo of DBay and Swaff who are taking the ACC by storm. Kind of. Check out their phat beatz following the the jump. I can just see DBay, the fat one, doi...

NFL Season Preview: Tennessee Titans
We're less than two weeks away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Today: The Tennessee T...

Kid Who Fell Onto Field Further Traumatized By Dopey Matt Lauer Interview
It pays to be a klutz in Philadelphia: The kid who tumbled from the stands onto the warning track at Citizens Bank Ballpark on Thursday woke up the next day to new-found celebrity, collecting a bunch of Phillies memorabilia, game tickets and a trip to New York for an interview on the Today Show. The...

LenDale White Thinks Ohio State Sucks
Fortunately for White, unlike former USC teammate Carson Palmer—who told an LA radio station he hated Ohio State and their fans and then was forced to issue an apology— he plays in Tennessee. Which means he could probably run for Governor and be elected on the "Ohio State Sucks" platform. So don't ...

Your Morning Video Wake Up Call Will Not Be Seen This Morning
Each weekday morning Awful Announcing, video slash and grab extraordinaire of the sports blogosphere, gives us a visual rundown of everything you missed from the night before. If there's something sports-related you'd like to see with your coffee, shoot him an e-mail and let him know. Unfortunate...

College Football Kickoff Night: North Carolina State vs. South Carolina
Enough of your waiting, young stallion. The Pack of Wolves are visiting the Game of Cocks. To christen the season on TV, ESPN's Chris Fowler, Craig James and Jesse Palmer are behind the mic. Erin Andrews is behind the sidelines with a different mic — one that gets way more pageviews than a regular m...

Before The Live Blog: Pour Out A Little Splash From The Mini-Keg Tonight For ICCC President Robert Paxton
You may recall on Monday when I posted a DUAN! story about Iowa Central Community College president Robert Paxton's ridiculous boat party pictures that were published in the Des Moines Register. The photos caused quite a stir in sleepy central Iowa academia. Unfortunately, Paxton's contention that t...

NFL Season Previews: Carolina Panthers
We're less than two weeks away from the start of the NFL season, so it's time to start the impassioned season previews from various writers, bloggers, diehard fans, cooks, TV personalities, and numerous other walks of life whom consider football the only sport worth watching. Today: The Carolina Pan...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after realizing that Chinese kids are destined never to learn English ... • College football: North Carolina State at South Carolina (8 p.m., ET) [ESPN]; Wake Forest at Baylor (8 p.m., ET) [FSN]; Oregon State at Stanford (9 p.m., ET). Beaver invasion! I'll see you there. [ESPN2] • MLB:...