w Page 4958 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Olympic Criminals Are No Match For The Chinese Scooter Police
You may think that you're a clever subversive, plotting to wreak mayhem at the Olympic Games. But you didn't count on the Glorious People's Scooter Police. Hands up, terrorist dogs! Hey, no fair fleeing over that slightly uneven terrain! Come back here!...
Red Sox Nation Will Treat This News With The Proper Amount Of Restraint And Sympathy
After days of speculating about the state of Alex Rodriguez's marriage it appears that the one truthful item out of this whole entire scandal is that he and his wife, Cynthia (can't bring myself to say "C-Rod" — yet) are not getting along. Late yesterday afternoon, the tabs and gossip blogs began re...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after trading sex for gasoline ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Brian Minto vs. John Poore, at Butler, Pa. (9 p.m., ET). I've never heard of these guys, so they must be good. [ESPN2] • MLB: Boston at Tampa Bay (7 p.m., ET). This series is getting virtually no publicity. [ESPN] • Swimming: U...
Joe Buck Is Just No Longer Enthused About America's Pastime
Joe "Balls Deep" Buck is one of the most highly respected and high-profile sports announcers working today and, according to one plucky Midwesterner we all know, is also a true gentlemen when introduced to raisin-filled sports bloggers. Buck's voice is always a welcome addition, especially to baseba...
Your Fourth Of July Throwgasm Breakdown
Drew Magary's Balls Deep column runs every Thursday afternoon. Except this week, due to the holiday. Drew's new book, "Men With Balls," featuring 100% new material, is available for pre-order here. You can email Drew here....
Stay Classy, Red Sox Nation
In case you missed this in our early-morning video montage, a reminder that the Red Sox and their fans are secure with their recent championships, and do not begrudge other up-and-coming teams a little success of their own....
This Man May Have Some Aggression Issues
You may not recognize 28-year-old Rannord Jones from his mugshot, but it's probably because his teeth aren't attached to the chin of a soccer referee. Jones, who Delaware police charged with felony assault, abuse of a sports official, terroristic threats and harassment, after that ridiculous inciden...
The Baron Of Clipperland
Baron Davis will do anything for love, but he won't do that. And by "that" I mean "be low-balled by the Golden State Warriors." Even if it means jumping ship and joining his hometown Clippers....
Let's Start Guessing Where LeBron Will Play In Two Years
The summer of 2010. That's when LeBron James will shun Northeast Ohio, get a plane ticket, head to New York City, play basketball, and win a championship with either the Knicks, the Nets, or an amalgamation of the relocated Memphis Grizzlies and Los Angeles Clippers, the Long Island Clizzers....
Pennsylvania's Lehigh Valley: Where Wife-Punching Pitchers Go To Die
Phillies opening day starter Brett Myers, has thrown his last high fastball up in the zone at the major league level for a little while. The Phillies, fed up with his putridity, have decided to send Myers down to the minors, in a last ditch effort to salvage his once formidable arm....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while bidding on a potato ... • Swimming: U.S. Olympic trials, at Omaha (8 p.m., ET). Katie Hoff > Aquaman. [USA] • MLB: Mets at Cardinals (8:15 p.m., ET). What fresh Hell for Mets' fans now? [SNY] [FSN] • MLB: Red Sox at Rays (7:10 p.m., ET). Joe Maddon controls space and time. [NESN]...
At Last, An Olympic Mascot We Can All Relate To
If you're tired of stories about earthquakes and censorship and brutal beatdowns of Tibetan monks, then forget about the Beijing Olympics for a moment, and remember that plans are already underway for the 2012 Games in London. Things will be decidedly more upbeat in these Olympics, to be sure; as we...
ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......
Ron Jaworski: Yes, I Know I Look Like An Old Lesbian
Former Philadelphia Eagles' quarterback and current Monday Night Football analyst, Ron Jaworski, is well aware that he's not winning any "Most Masculine Bifocals" awards anytime soon. In fact, he promises that the specs he'll don this year won't have so many people confusing him with Sally Jesse Ra...
A-Rod's Alleged Madonna Affair Destined For Front Page Infamy
The New York tabloids have awakened from their Alex Rodriguez/Madonna hook-up snooze and are now in full-on attack mode against the Yankees' third baseman and the singer. The tabs are running the photos of Madonna sitting in A-Rod's seats during the June 22 game, which she attended with one of he...
Dwyane Wade Becomes Unwitting Spokesman In China
Dwyane Wade's plummet from fresh-faced NBA megastar to injury-prone cellphone salesman continues on its downward spiral, as the Miami Heat guard has popped up as the new face of Chinese-based "Sueper Sex", a pre-intercourse "time delay capsule" according to Black Sports Online. (Via Sports Business ...
Warriors To Be Decidedly Less Whiskery In 2009
OK, it's not a lock that Baron Davis is leaving the Warriors. But by opting out of the final year of his contract — leaving $17.8 million on the table in the process — it's pretty clear that there was more to that dustup with Don Nelson in the Phoenix game than we were told. But while that may be tr...