w Page 4965 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

You'll Never Believe This: Ballpark Food Might Not Always Be Up To Par
The Leitch family is heading to the East Coast next weekend to make their first visit to the city of Boston; it is just our good luck that the once-every-five-years trip to Fenway happens to coincide with injuries to the Cardinals' two best players. (Not that we're not winning nevertheless, mind you...

About Last Night
All those who guessed that the cubicle rampage video was a fake, please come collect your winnings ... • MLB: All hail the walkoff grand slam. Everybody say Uggla! Marlins 6, Phillies 2. • Soccer: Wait, they have Cristiano Ronaldo, and Pepe? How can Portugal ever lose? • NFL: I Am Legend ... Will Sm...

To Watch Tonight
Yes, but they left an excellent tip ... • Boxing: Light middleweights, Sechew Powell vs. Deandre Latimore, at New York (9 p.m., ET). Always bet on the boxer whose first name sounds like someone sneezed. [ESPN2]. • MLB: Atlanta at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). That Cubs' swoon is way behind schedule. [E...

Your Deadspin U.S. Open Preview
We don't know much about golf, but we do know that The U.S. Open Is Important. Therefore, with the Tiger Watch teeing off tomorrow, we asked resident golf impresario Shane Bacon, of Dogs That Chase Cars, to preview it for us. So here goes....

Thieves Boost Giants Super Bowl Rings
If you see a decidedly un-athletic-looking character parading around town with a Giants Super Bowl ring — and it's not Eli Manning — then please call your local authorities immediately. It's probably hot; part of the haul from big Attleboro jewelry heist this past weekend....

The Big Ball Orchard In The South Bronx
Slate's Robert Weintraub, like many of us, loves the old purple prose of early 1900s sportswriting, the Grantland Rices, the men who painted epic tales of warriors, grizzled combatants and lardywarks too manly to wear gloves. In an occasional series, Weintraub writes about the week's best baseball g...

The Best Way To Ensure Your Child's College Years Get Off To The Right Start
Most of us who had going-off-to-college parties usually had some dinner with family, maybe a house party with friends, and maybe, if we're lucky, our parents would finally relent and spring for Coors Light party ball to build up our alcohol tolerance enough before we begin five years of chronic bing...

Pardon The Interruption...In My Pants!
The above photo of PTI-er and blog despiser Michael Wilbon and Girl Next Door Kendra was taken last night at a post-Lakers after party by p*rn star and blogger, Christian, from HIS personal blog Christian Sings The Blues (NSFW), which he describes as "My Strange Life Within the Adult Film Business: ...

The Gateway Grizzlies Will Clog Your Arteries If It's The Last Thing They Do
The team that gave you "Baseball's Best Burger" — a bacon cheeseburger with a Krispy Kreme doughnut used as a bun, has done it again. Now available at the Gateway Grizzlies concession area: Baseball's Best Soft Pretzel. And finally, that fifth doctor surrenders. Now five out of five doctors agree th...

The Sudden Plummet Of Dontrelle Willis
Seriously, what in the world has happened to Dontrelle Willis? The guy used to be the next great face of baseball, a smiling, lovable African American in a sport that desperately needs more, with a whirly-gig windup and a youthful vigor for the game we hadn't seen since Griffey. And now ... he's pit...

Elijah Dukes Has Been Quiet Long Enough
Last week, Elijah Dukes hit a walk-off two-run homer to beat the Cardinals in the second game of a doubleheader. (It really was an awesome game.) Elijah, as Elijah is wont to do, celebrated a bit too vigorously, upsetting an umpire and his manager, Manny Acta. Thus was the fuse lit....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you finally locate dad ... • MLB: Atlanta at Chicago Cubs (8 p.m., ET). Let's see; if Chipper goes 2-for-5, his average will be ... oh why must you make me do math? [WGN] • NBA: Finals, Game 3, Boston at Los Angeles Lakers. All seats have been taken by celebrities. Sorry, folks. ...

Golfing Hazards That Could Have Maimed A Small Population Of Tennesseeans
Just in time for Father's Day, the Hidden Valley golf course in Tennessee is doing some major upkeep on its course like bunker shaping, filling in deep barrancas, aerating and...bomb removal. Yes, hole number five of Hidden Valley had, according to bulldozer driver Freddie McGee, an "old tube-type b...

The Deadspin Editor Search Continues
So, several people have asked why I've been silent on Will's announced departure from Deadspin (if my mailman can be considered "several people"). Well, it's simple. I maintain that he's not leaving. You see, it's all an elaborate hoax, perpetrated by the same folks who faked the moon landing and bu...

Yankee Fans Even Hate Givers Of Life
Yes, bringer of life to the planet ... YOU SUCK! TRADE THE BUM!...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its cleverest, boldest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your two-year-old makes a valuable business contact ......

Goodbye To The Gap-Toothed Wonder
We don't know about you, but we'll kind of miss Michael Strahan, who retired from the NFL today, probably because he thinks coming off a title might make him John Elway. (It won't.)...

ESPN's Featured Comment Of The Day
ESPN scoured its message boards this morning to find its boldest, cleverest, most enlightening comment, and chose this one above all others ......

Joba Would Like To Take Off the Training Wheels Now
Until Hank Steinbrenner can get Dayan Viciedo signed, five innings of Joba Chamberlain are going to have to do. Chamberlain, who was lambasted by critics and audiences alike in his first starting role last week, came back with a slightly stronger effort on Sunday to lead the Yankees over the Royals...