w Page 4969 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Piling On The Mets
We know Rick already covered this this morning, but we really can't quite get over what has happened to the New York Mets. We don't think Willie Randolph belongs in Isiah Thomas Country — for example, Willie Randolph, as far as we know, has not encouraged an atmosphere where interns can sleep with p...

Boston Getting A Head Start On The Head Start Memorabilia
Just to appropriately taunt the sporting dieties — Patriots style — this T-shirt has officially been on racks. We're not sure what this says about Deadspin readers, but three different people sent this to us over the weekend from the same ESPN Store at Disneyworld in Orlando....

Ryan Howard And His Dancing Turkey Neck
Being a sports reporter is, at times, an absolutely horrible job. Sure you get to watch games, travel and interact with athletes, but there is a horrendous downside. (Which is pretty much everything else.) And this is never more disturbingly clear than when a reporter has their first (or 50th) awf...

Heavyweight Champ Out To Terrify Erudite British Comedians
The man pictured here is Wladimir Klitschko. It is telling that you might know who he is; he's the IBF, WBO and IBO world heavyweight champion, which isn't nearly as cool as it was 15 years ago. But still: The job of the heavyweight champion of the world is to be the "scariest man on earth," and mak...

What Not To Do With A Championship Trophy
Yep, the Chiefs won their Canadian Hockey League title and then promptly dropped and broke the trophy. They were booed for it, but man, if this ever happens to the Stanley Cup, fans will tear the place apart. (Lil Jon will be first in line.) We've always wondered when something like this would happe...

Willie Randolph Still Employed, But Watch This Space For Further Developments
New Yorkers keen on saving the environment can dig up all of that old Fire Isiah signage, and with a few quick edits, can make fun, functional Fire Willie signs. It's the least you can do to help save the planet. Only moments after top brass announced that he will not be fired (at least not this min...

The Stanley Cup Finals Mule Variations
The NHL Closer is written by five octopi from Melt Your Face Off. When Al Sobotka isn't twirling us over his head, we're served with pickled ginger, green onion and mayonnaise in takoyaki. Raskolnikov emptied his ink sacs to write a recap of last night's action....

About Last Night
What you missed during your annual headlong pursuit of rolling cheese ... • NBA: Pistons roll the McDyess, even series with Celtics 2-all. • NHL: The Osgood File ... Red Wings trample Flightless Sea Fowl, 3-0. • MLB: Walk-off walk ends 12-inning scoreless duel to win it for Angels; a result which, s...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while remodeling Bubble Man's dorm room... • 5 p.m. — NASCAR: Coca-Cola 600, Concord, North Carolina. In a blind race test, what's more exciting: this race or the Pepsi 400? [FOX] • 7 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. There's no crying in softball, but there's no by-laws applicabl...

Marion Barber Unaware Of Marion Barber Rule
Keeping with the obliviousness-to-rules motif — hey, it makes us feel better about ourselves — Dallas Cowboys running back Marion Barber III, esq. has made a name for himself by stiff arming the defenders in the face. Apparently that's always been a rule. But now the league will begin to clamp down ...

You Mean The Speed-Up Rules Began THIS Weekend?
Hopefully you caught wind of Major League Baseball's new directive to enforce rules that speed up the game, if from no other source, from Jim Leyland's awesome rant. But apparently the Red Sox didn't get the memo. Correction: they read it, they just didn't read it....

About Last Night...
What you missed re-creating the chase scene from Space Mutiny... • NBA: Yeah, well, Boston still hasn't won two road games yet. • NHL: Son of Samuel goes on massive scoring spree, dozens wounded, Red Wings at large with 4-0 win. • MLB: Cubs won the first eight innings. Problem is, the dang thing wen...

Who Wants A Trophy-Shaped Cup? (Cup-Shaped Trophy?)
There once was a man by the name of Stanley, who decided that average trophies were not good enough for hockey teams, so he went and sculpted a cup based on a napkin drawing by Nigel Tufnel. The trophy was supposed to be 35 feet tall, but he got his inches and feet mixed up....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while shopping around for once-in-a-lifetime deals on infants... • 7:30 p.m. — NASCAR: Nationwide Series, Conquest Auto Parts 300, Concord, N.C. Watch your favorite drivers in different numbered cars wail on lesser drivers! [ESPN2] • 8:00 p.m. — NCAA softball: Georgia at UCLA. The fact...

Gary Carter Wonders If He Should Let The Mets Know He Wants To Manage Them
Willie Randolph could very well be Art Howe-ing his way out of a job in New York, but what's kind of important is the fact that he still has employment with the Mets. That hasn't stopped Gary Carter, who's currently managing an independent minor league team in California, to start inquiring about wh...

Commence Memorializing In An Approrpriate Manner Right Now
• Barkley admits he has a gambing problem. Kind of. • Softball ladies no longer have to resemble Drew Carey • Bill Simmons continues to fulminate • Chris Cooley: Almost married man • Basketbawful has been killing the NBA playoff coverage • Minor Enterprise is definitely hitting its stride • He...

Watching Willie Randolph's End Of Days
The speculation surrounding Mets' manager Willie Randolph's chances of survival once he returns back to the not-so-cozy confines of Shea has reached an all-time high. You can't read anything about the Mets embattled manager without a forboding headline attached to it and the Mets' brass has been ret...

Broom With A View
Their logo is politically incorrect, their manager is a noted wife puncher and their broadcasters are notorious homers, and I mean all of that in the nicest possible way. But today there is no denying the unstoppable force that is the Atlanta Braves, who completed a four-game sweep of the New York ...

Dusty Basketball Courts Far, Far Away
Even though I promised an alarming amount of irreverence for most of today, it would be unconscionable of me not to sendTrue Hoop genius Henry Abbott as many eyeballs as humanly possible over to his story, "Infantry Hoops in Iraq." Afer he inquired about the amount of basketball being played by some...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after a day at the penis museum ... • Golf: LPGA, Corning (N.Y.) Classic, first round, (6:30 p.m. ET; same-day tape). So who do you think is hotter; Danielle Ammaccapane or Dina Ammaccapane? [The Golf Channel] • NBA: Eastern Conference finals, Game 2, Detroit at Boston (8:30 p.m., ET)....