w Page 5041 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Peterson Breaks Rushing Record, Transubstantiates
Forget about rookie records, Adrian Peterson is going after bigger game. It's taken Minnesota's first-year wunderkind a mere eight attempts to break the NFL's record for rushing in a game. The 296 yard eruption led the Vikings to a 35-17 flattening of the San Diego Chargers and put Peterson over the...
New England Patriots Are The Saviors Of Alefgard
And there it is. The New England Patriots collected the Stones of Sunlight, the Staff of Rain, and the Token of Erdrick. Tom Brady will promptly whisk Princess Gwaelin away to a bed and breakfast somewhere south of Cantlin. Meanwhile, Bill Belichick will now reproduce a set of Erdrick weapons and ar...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while locking yourself in your bathroom, reading the minutes from last week's Porn Club meeting... • 7 p.m. — Drag Racing: NHRA Auto Club of Southern California finals, Pomona, California. Ahh! which way do I turn? Which way do I turn? [ESPN2] • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: SMU at Houston. ...
Championship Team Takes 13-7 Halftime Lead Over Legendary Team
Marvin Harrison isn't playing in the game, which my keen awareness picked up on sometime in the first quarter. So the backup No. 1 wide receiver for the Colts happens to be Joseph Addai, I guess. He has 107 yards receiving on top of his usual job of 80 yards rushing. He's also filling in for three b...
Hoping The Patriots And Colts Play To A Tie Game
M'kay. It's getting to be that time, so let's get the Patriots-Colts preview out of the way. I hadn't even thought about who I thought would win this game until this weekend, when I put New England in my friend's NFL picks pool. It was a rather anticlimactic and unfulfilling finish to a week of spec...
The Reggies Are Running Rampant In New Orleans
Okay, which one of you smart-alecks told me that the Jaguars had a good defense? Because then I went and told everybody, including my local priest, and now I just look foolish. Most of the touchdowns were scored by one of many Reggies (Bush has two for the Saints, and Williams caught an 80-yard pass...
Just Another 16-Hour Workday For Herbie
I may have been the last person to notice that ESPN College GameDay dreamboat staple Kirk Herbstreit has also been in the booth for that night's ABC prime-time football game. Oftentimes, those two locales are in different areas. But I think yesterday's cross-country trek had to be one a logistical n...
Al Arbour Promptly Removes Penguins From His Lawn
• This Was Actually How The Redskins Wanted To Bring Joe Gibbs Back, But He Thought It Was Permanent, And Nobody Had The Heart To Tell Him Otherwise — This story about Al Arbour coaching the Islanders again after 13 years to round out his coaching career at an even 1,500 seems pretty cool, doubly so...
About Last Night...
What you missed, thanks in part to those damn singing condoms... • NCAA Football: Arizona State travels up to Oregon, dies of dysentery. • NASCAR: Carl Edwards overcomes adversity, rookie drivers to win NASCAR's minor league circuit. • MLS: New York England Revolution tax New York Red Bulls without ...
Why, I'll Show You Rumormongering, Mr. Reporter Man
In the column inches of metro daily paper on a peaceful Saturday morning, somewhere between the high school box scores and soft news on retired athletes, you wouldn't expect to find a rant about blogs....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while setting your clocks ahead one hour, then realizing you're doing it wrong... • 6:40 p.m. — NCAA Football: Arizona State at Oregon. [ESPN] • 8 p.m. — NCAA Football: Florida State at Boston College, Texas A&M at Oklahoma, Oregon State at USC. The regional coverage map reminds me I n...
While at a Denver-area restaurant, John Elway was cut off from alcohol after the restaurant manager claimed he tried to order his eighth glass of wine. Even if he had seven glasses, he still would have been able to legally drive at least 98 yards on streets in the Cleveland area. [Rocky Mountain New...
Brett Favre Embodies The Tecmo Bowl Pass Play
I'd assume that a Tecmo Bowl Byron Leftwich would keep cycling through his receivers with the B button until someone sacks him....
Welcome To The Fukudome
As the baseball offseason enters its sixth day, it's already time to begin looking at our latest Japanese imports. In this case, it's another Hideki Matsui-type player, Kosuke Fukudome. Pronunciation could get a little dangerous. It's either co-SOO-kay FOO-coo-DOUGH-may or kuh-SUCK-ee FUCK-a-DOME....
So There's This Big Soccer Game Today, I'm Told
Okay. Take a look to the east. See the sun rising? Okay, look at the little blotch of land right below it. Don't see it? Here, use my binoculars. Hmm... you still don't see it? Okay, well look at this Mercator projection map. Right there. England. Located somewhere in that country, probably in that ...
Week in Review: Eff This Cursed Machine
⁊ Jon Kitna enjoys Halloween, then apologizes for it...