w Page 5056 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Every Day Is Father's Day For Prince Fielder
If neither the awesome might of the robotic 12-person beer bong nor the motivational power of free rectal exams are enough to help the Brewers catch the Cubs in the NL Central, then perhaps Prince Fielder's red-hot animosity toward his father is. Fielder The Younger hit home runs No. 49 and 50 on Tu...
About Last Night
What you missed while being pantsed by an ape ... • MLB: Phillies decide against a frontal assault, decide to sneak up on NL wild-card berth from the rear. • NFL: Brian Griese takes the reigns as Bears' starting quarterback, and this time he shall not fail!* • Soccer: Hey look, European soccer score...
It's Furries Vs. Klingons For All The (Lost) Marbles
Man, oh man, how we wish we were in Atlanta this weekend. It's the Furries vs. Klingons bowl-off. If there's anybody out that way who wants to pop by and let us know how this goes, consider yourself officially encouraged. We only wish Bob Uecker were around for it; Furry conventions are never the s...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the lesbian Brady Bunch rumors are shot down ... • MLB: Cubs at Marlins. Division title, come to Papa. [WCIU] • MLB: Padres at Giants. What else could possibly go wrong? [Channel 4 Padres] • Movie: Rocky II. Yo Adrian! I did it! [Versus]...
You're Responsible For The Death Of Tradition
We have not played golf in five years; we pretty much only play at bachelor parties, which is why people always make fun of us at bachelor parties. (This is not the only reason.) But when we do play, we're Charles Bronson in The Great Escape: We're digging tunnels....
There's Only One Answer To The Bears' QB Problem
After Sexy Rexy Grossman's third consecutive — or fourth, or fifth, or whatever — horrific appearance last week, Bears fans are screaming for backup Brian Griese. But let's not forget: He's got plenty of baggage himself....
Joba Is The New F—k Lion
By now, you've probably seen these photos of various New York Yankees rookies dressing up like characters from The Wizard Of Oz. We definitely enjoy Joba Chamberlain's impersonation of a f—k lion....
MSG's Odd Defense Strategy
Time for an Isiah Thomas trial update: You know you've missed them....
Kansas City Wolf Will Protect This House!
Notice how the guy is enjoying his moment in the sun until confronted by the wolf, at which point he hesitates like a frightened deer, allowing stadium security to mop him up. This is classic wolf hunting technique; the alpha male driving the prey toward the rest of the pack, which then brings it do...
This Week In The SSW
For years — OK, a couple of days — Slate writer Robert Weintraub has been tinkering with a concept called The SSW, short for "The Sean Salisbury Wisdom," which tracks the consensus of the football punditocracy to ensure those triumphant declarations from Friday aren't flushed down the memory hole on...
That'll Be All For The Saints
When our heart bleeds today, it bleeds for Balk: The Saints, after their brief moment of excitement and inspiration, appear to suck again. It was fun while it lasted....
About Last Night
What you missed while driving the real Batmobile ... • NFL: The Saints are 0-3, but you can't beat this gumbo. Tennessee 31, New Orleans 14. • MLB: Brewers decide that three games out of first with six to play is a good time to make their move. Milwaukee 13, St. Louis 5. • Cricket: Of all the champi...
MNF Heads Back To New Orleans
We suspect that tonight's "Monday Night Football" telecast from the Superdome will have the electricity and emotion of last year's MNF game, if just because we don't think Bono's gonna make the trip this year. (However: "Cowboy Mouth" will be in the house!_...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while digesting the news that Marcia and Jan got it on ... • NFL: Tennessee at New Orleans. Now back to our sideline reporter, Larry the Cable Guy. [ESPN] • MLB: Nationals at Mets. Mets will not choke. MetswillnotchokeMetswillnotchoke...[SNY] • Rugby: World Cup, New Zealand vs. Scotlan...
Nowhere To Go But Up For The "Rays"
It is sad when an American institution dies, the rain, as some lady said once, washing the memories off the sidewalks of life. Or something....
Parents Name Baby Wrigley Fields. Seriously
Look, if you didn't want your kid to amount to anything in life, you could have just stamped the word LOSER on his forehead in indelible ink; or left him on the doorstep of Green Party headquarters. But Paul and Teri Fields of Michigan City, Indiana just had to get creative, and so they decided to n...
Pat White Has A Special Friend
West Virginia quarterback Pat White would seem like the guy who has everything. NFL-ready talent — we guess — a spot on one of college football's best team and, you know, he's kind of handsome, if you're into that sort of thing. But the guy just wants more....
Yes, In Fact, It IS Tebow Time
Dan Shanoff writes a weekly college football column for Deadspin. Email him to let him know what you think....