w Page 5056 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Dance, She Is Over
Something seems amiss today. We can't quite put our finger on it ... a great disturbance in The Force, like a million baseball fans crying out at once. So we did what we always do when world events confuse us; we headed over to Wikipedia. And sure enough:...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as it is revealed that Lance Armstrong actually cheated by using Flubber ... • Basketball: World Championship for Women, preliminary round, USA vs. China, at Sao Paolo, Brazil. Same-day tape ... Internet users, please do not reveal the shocking conclusion of the USA vs. China game. [F...

Everybody Needs Some Tailgating Backup
We know those who use wheelchairs are capable of doing just about anything that those who can stand and walk can do; we suspect some of you are doing that very thing right now. Unless you're trying to get to the upper deck of RFK Stadium, nothing should stand in your way as a sports fan....

How To Get Fake Lost At Yankee Stadium
Of all the amusements at a baseball game, few things tickle our proverbial fancy more than The Guy Who Can't Find His Seat. He's always carrying a hot dog, or more beverages than he can handle, and he's got that clueless look of the guy who has never been to a game and is just waiting for someone to...

Failure To Launch
In these troubled times in which we live, we believe that it's good to feed the soul occasionally with some inspiring words from a true American. Such a man is Texas Longhorns fan and sometimes actor Matthew McConaughey. Let us never forget his fiery speech from last week, leading up to the Texas-Oh...

Now That's A Serious Looking Contract
We don't mean to imply that there's a possibly new New York Islanders general manager Garth Snow — shown here on a "scouting trip" — might not necessarily be ready for life in a board room, considering just last year he was the team's backup goalie....

Hirshey Quickie: And Just For Kicks, Bring Your Sister
David Hirshey writes regularly about soccer for Deadspin....

Hey, Let's Play Two Every Monday!
While we acknowledge that the "Monday Night Football" crew might still have some bugs to iron out, as evidenced by this inventive description of new Vikings offensive lineman Steve Hutchinson, on the whole, it was a pretty smooth night of football, considering it went for almost seven hours....

Kornheiser, You're Being Glib
We mean no offense to Redskins fans, but when your owner is hosting Tom Cruise in his luxury box — when he's staying at your owner's house — we kind of think that maybe you deserve to lose....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you wonder what the heck ever happpened to that third Manning brother ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at Atlanta. Why not beat the rush and give Dusty his going-away present now? [WGN] • NFL: Minnesota at Washington. Look out for Fred Smoot under those pileups. [ESPN] • NFL: San Diego at Oa...

NFL Roundup: Mangini's Workout Regimen
Muses and ruminations after Week 1 of the NFL ......

To Watch Tonight...
• NASCAR: Nextel Cup, Chevy Rock & Roll 400. When is the Gangsta Rap 400? 7:30, TNT. • Tennis: US Open, Women's Final. Maria Sharapova vs. Justine Henin-Hardenne. 8:00, CBS. • MLS Soccer: Real Salt Lake @ DC United. Salt Lake's been known to start a sissy slap fight when things don't go their way. 7...

Week In Deadspin: Bronzed Leather
• Presenting the inaugural class of the Deadspin Hall Of Fame. • You know, Dave Thomas used to do this all the time. • Bert Blyleven is f—-ing up that f—-ing thing. • Who will Bill Simmons put on notice? • Goodbye, croc hunter man. • Heath Shuler could actually be a winner. • This is how you comme...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you remain stunned that they don't sell booze inside Rutgers Stadium ... • Basketball: Hall of Fame Induction Ceremony, at Springfield, Mass. (May be joined in progress if "Stump The Schwab" runs long). [ESPN Classic] • College football: Pittsburgh at Cincinnati. It's in Ohio, so wh...

An Odd Way To Get Your Coach Off Your Back
Because we're just the kind of sniggering, obnoxious, wisenheimer 14-year-olds you think we are, we thought we'd giggle a bit this morning at Steelers lineback Joey Porter, who is in serious danger of becoming a staple around these parts....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while celebrating ESPN's birthday. • College football: Oregon State at Boise State. The road trip which features the signage: "Last gas for 677 miles." [ESPN] • MLB: Detroit at Minnesota. Could this be the series that the Tigers relinquish the AL Central? Um, no. [ESPN2] • NFL: Miami a...

NFL Pants Party: NFC West
It's our division, the one our Buzzsaw was shipped to so they didn't have to travel to New Jersey, Texas and Pennsylvania every year. And we've (obviously) never won it. Someday ......

NFL Season Preview: Dallas Cowboys
We are officially at the start of the NFL season, so it's probably time to start previewing the monster. The key to the NFL's success — other than fantasy football and gambling, of course — is the rabid nature of its fans. That is to say: You don't see a lot of people painting their faces for thei...