w Page 5064 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Oxnard Must Be An Entertaining Camp
Few athletes give us more joy, in a "Jeez, look how far this idiot has fallen" type of way, than former Eagles dope Freddie Mitchell. Last time we checked in with him, he was considering offers from Jon Bon Jovi's team in the Arena League....
The Most Famous Buzzsaw Cheerleader
So here's the best story we've heard all day, even though it's only new to us. If any of you out there, like us, religiously watch "The Office" — we even watch the repeats — you're familiar with Phyllis, the portly saleswoman who knits and is happy in love with Bob Vance, Vance Refrigeration....
Why We'd Sign With The Utah Jazz
Last week, the New York Daily News uncovered a steroid ring that could end up affecting some of the biggest, most beloved names in our sport. Today, their rivals at the New York Post uncovered that baseball players cheat on their wives....
To Watch Tonight...
• MLB: Phillies @ Mets. I could gaze into Mr. Met's beautiful eyes for hours. 8:00, ESPN. • NFL: Raiders vs. Eagles. Whichever team has more fans arrested by halftime wins. 8:00, NBC. • Movie: Deuce Bigalow, Male Gigolo. Yeah, ball hair. What we need is a strike here. 8:00, FX....
Colonless Guy Scores 132 Points In Two Games
It's probably a little bit unfair to refer to DeJuan Wagner as an anonymous colonless guy, but he has been fairly anonymous over the past couple of years. He was once the next big thing, a scoring machine in high school, and the 6th-overall pick in the NBA draft. His game never translated that well ...
Evidently, Larry Flynt Is In The Basketball Court Painting Business
I'm a little disappointed in myself that I didn't notice this. What you are looking at is the court on which Team USA drubbed Puerto Rico last night in an exhibition basketball game. And, as was noted at sethgunderson.com, the lane looks a little... well, penile....
To Watch Tonight...
• NASCAR. Busch Series, Kroger 200. Talledega Nights taught me all about the slingshot maneuver. 9:00, TNT. • World Cup Soccer. Czech Republic vs. United States. If the MLS All-Star Game didn't convince you that we still suck at soccer... Oops. 10:00, ESPNU. • NFL. Green Bay Packers Intrasquad Scrim...
Week In Deadspin: We Miss The Chorizo Already
• You bring us the chorizo, and then you take it away. Do not tease us with your chorizo. • Whither the white wide receiver. • Interesting strategy to sell video games. • Mike Tirico would rather you not bring this up again. • Here is what is inside Bobby Abreu's head. • Smell Jeter! • If Simmons ...
To Watch Tonight
What you missed while deciding, apropos of nothing, to work late on Friday ... • Boxing: Anthony Peterson vs. Jose Soto, at Memphis. What division is this? Flyweight? Paperweight? Pantyweight? [ESPN2] • Extreme sports: X Games, at Carson, Calif. Have you ever taken your bike off of some sweet jumps?...
Gentlemen, Start Your Wanking
Right now Carl Monday is snapping down the protective visor on his riot helmet, scrambling into the back of the WKYC Action News van and yelling "Let's roll!" Yes, the big Masturbate-A-Thon is tomorrow,* which, if you live in Europe, still leaves you plenty of time to get to Drop Studios in London...
Joe Torre, Back When He Had To Work A Little Bit
Even among people who hate the Yankees, there is a grudging respect for manager Joe Torre, who exemplifies class, stoicism and wisdom in a game that many consider often lacking in all three....
Finally Making Some Money Off Southeast Jerome
Fully capitalizing on something it stumbled across last season, the official Redskins site Redskins.com is now selling T-shirts adorned with every Clinton Portis character from his press conferences last year. Those who were with us last season will remember our schoolgirl crush on Portis, particu...
"You Want Me To Do That With You?"
The mad geniuses at Free Darko aren't taking the summer off: They're finding absolute gems like this video, which features Timberwolves superstar Kevin Garnett gets his Bob Harris on while visiting an Asian television show....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after coming upon a scene of cruel, wanton destruction ... • Basketball: Men's national teams, USA vs. Puerto Rico, at Las Vegas. Let the utter disappointment begin. [ESPN2] • Extreme sports: X Games, at Carson, Calif. Step off, George! [ESPN] • MLB: Cleveland at Boston. To save time, ...
Your Unwarranted Kevin Costner Update
You can always tell how Kevin Costner's career is going by how much he remembers he "loves the beautiful game of baseball." When he was stalling in the late '90s, he tried to recapture the Bull Durham-Field Of Dreams magic with For The Love Of The Game, a movie so dull and torpid that you'd never be...
God, Training Camp Is So Disgusting
Far be it from us to tell any football team how to run their business, particularly during the big petri dish of sweat and blood and all kinds of other disgusting things in the midst of training camp, but we suspect a new policy the 'Skins have put into place might have been worthwhile to institut...
Buyer Beware ... And Beware Again ... And Beware Again
In a classic Oh, Now You Tell Us moment, Philadelphia owner Jeffrey Lurie has suddenly realized that, aw, jeez, maybe it wasn't actually the best of ideas to bring in wide receiver Terrell Owens....
Ah, Fun With PC Goodness
If you're a Yankees fan so obsessed with your team that you require daily tidbits of minutiae to get through your workday, you might have one of those daily desk calendars. (We have one for "The Far Side.") Fishbowl NY has pointed out the above entry for yesterday, August 2, in which the copy-editin...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the last surviving munchkins steal your car ... • Boxing: Featherweights, Rogers Mtagwa vs. Alvin Brown, at Philadelphia. How come ESPN boxing isn't like the fight scenes in the Rocky movies? [ESPN2] • MLB: Philadelphia at St. Louis. Hit streak or not, I'm going for a beer. [ESPN] •...
Minor Enterprise: Baby, You Can Drive My Car
Welcome to Minor Enterprise, where we preview, and occasionally review, the great events of minor league baseball. Each Wednesday we'll take a look at the promotions, players and mascots which populate our minor league ballparks; the unsung heroes of our national pastime. (Minor Enterprise not res...