w Page 5065 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Jay Mariotti Has Returned
Fret not, loyal Chicago-area readers: Your long national nightmare is now over. After a month-long "vacation" that followed Ozzie Guillen Fag-gate, Chicago Sun-Times "columnist" Jay Mariotti has signed a three-year deal with the paper, assuring his smiling face will grace the paper's pages four days...

Some Things You Hear That You Can't Unhear
We just don't get the French. The fastest-selling song in France, nay, in all of Europe, is Coup de Boule (The Headbutt), which was produced as a "joke" by a couple of music producers in Paris to ease the pain of their country's World Cup loss to Italy. But now France's loss is also our loss, as thi...

Save The Chorizo!
We can all agree that we give much love to the chorizo, slight discomfort with cheap ethnic pandering aside. The chorizo has taken the country by storm! Considering there isn't that much more to talk about in relation to Milwaukee Brewers baseball right now, you'd think the chorizo would be out ther...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you put the finishing touches on your new line of adult swaddling clothes ... • WNBA: Indiana at Detroit; Houston at Sacramento. Be the first in your family to watch an entire WNBA doubleheader. [ESPN2] • MLB: Blue Jays at Yankees. Come watch New York bask in its Abreu-ness. [YES Ne...

Some Folks Are Still A Little Mad About That Scab Business
So, Cory Lidle has left the Phillies and is heading to the Yankees. In an interview, he said he was excited about pitching in the Bronx because "over the last few years I haven't had a clubhouse that expected to win with me." This got back to Phillies reliever Arthur Rhodes, who was less than please...

Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Big Ten
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode and...

Wanted: One Huge NY Giants Fan
If you're looking to score a sweet New York Giants season ticket, take a look at this from Craig's List, and act fast. Only one catch: You must wear a sumo wrestler-style fat suit for each game. It seems that the "Fat Suit Fans" are down one member and are looking for a replacement. Other caveats in...

Derek Jeter Would Like You To Smell Him
Sometimes, this job is a little bit too easy....

Jim Bowden Knows When To Hold 'Em
So the big story of yesterday's trade deadline, as tends to be the case, turned out to be what not happened: Washington Nationals general manager Jim Bowden hung on to impending free agent Alfonso Soriano rather than flipping for prospects, or cash, or beans, or whatever. Because the Natinoals are...

The Closer: Twins, Twins Everywhere
Notes from a day in baseball:...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you bake the world's largest apple turnover ... • MLB: Cleveland at Boston. Big sale! All Indians players half off until 5 p.m. today. [ESPN] • MLB: Rangers at Twins. It's either this or the food court at the Mall of America. [KDFI] • Truck Competition: USHRA Monster Jam in Houston....

Four Tiny Tidbits On: The Big East
We must confess that we can't wait each year for the crunch of shoulder pads; for cleats churning up chunks of turf and red-faced coaches screaming from the sidelines. But enough about lacrosse. College football season is upon us, and to celebrate, we're going to get back into tiny tidbit mode and...

Jeremy Shockey Would Like To Set The Record Straight
Jeremy Shockey just wants you to know that he won't be letting up this season ... he plans to party as hard as he did in 2005. Man, where would we be without Shockey? With Terrell Owens minding his manners in Dallas and Marcus Vick having not brandished a weapon in months, we are truly blessed that ...

Hey, Guys ... You're Still On Camera
You know, we continue to find it amazing, in this day of MLB Extra Innings and MLB.tv, that any television announcer would speak freely during the commercial break. Dude: There's a microphone on you. Someone's going to hear....

The Closer: Mr. Met Administers Coup De Grace
Notes from a day in baseball:...

It's Trade Deadline Day ... But Haven't The Trades Already Happened?
So, what, pretty much all that's left is Alfonso Soriano, right? After the Carlos Lee to Texas trade on Friday, and the Bobby Abreu and Cory Lidle to the Yankees trade yesterday, the trade deadline at 4 p.m. ET today seems to be approaching without most of its larger bullets already fired....

Couldn't They Have Hired A Chorizo Who Could Run?
Here's some video of the race, along with reaction from some local fans. One day into his sausage-racing career, the Chorizo has already been accused by a fan of being drunk on margaritas, and by a newscaster of being drunk on Tequila. Thankfully, they stopped short of accusing the Chorizo of eating...

To Watch Tonight...
• MLB. Angels @ Red Sox. David Ortiz will crush anything that gets in his way. Someone put Joe Morgan's head in his way. 8:00, ESPN. • Vollyeball. FIVB World League, Japan vs. United States. If you can't find a skin flick on Cinemax, this might be an acceptable substitute. 8:00, CSTV. • Boxing. Ali ...

Bobby Abreu Heading North
As you may have expected, it's the Yankees who have stepped up and acquired Bobby Abreu. ESPN.com is reporting that the Yankees and Phillies have agreed to a deal that puts Bobby Abreu in pinstripes. The Yanks also pick up pitcher Cory Lidle as part of the deal, and going the other way are shortstop...

Reggie Bush Finally Gives In To Fans With Lame Signs
It seems like Reggie Bush's holdout garnered a lot of attention for a something that ended up lasting a grand total of two days. Many of you had more contentious negotations while trying to get laid this weekend. And as soon as he scores his first touchdown, no one's even going to remember that ther...