w Page 5066 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Brady Quinn Stands Before You Shorn
Because we're still a little taken aback by Michael Vick's press conference today — we imagine him using every prison phone call to dial Roger Goodell's office — we bring you lighter news to close the day. Brady Quinn has shaved his head....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Gods make moon go away ... • Basketball: FIBA Americas Championship, second round, at Las Vegas. U.S. vs. Mexico. You're going down, Bumble Bee Man. [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Yankees at Detroit. It's a party, and for once you're invited. [ESPN2] • NFL: Preseason, Cincinnati at Atlanta...
We'd Rather See Dirk
By now, you've heard that Mark Cuban is expected to be on Dancing With The Stars next year. We find this depressing in the same way that Cuban's "The Benefactor" program was depressing; we might make fun of Cuban a bit, but he'd a damn sight more worthy a human being than Donald Trump, and here he w...
NFL Season Preview: New England Patriots
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that, if we're going to fit in every NFL team preview by the start of the season, we have to go this early. So there you have it....
FINALLY, Little League Is Over
Had your fill of kids' baseball for the summer? Jesus, school starts in a week, and we're just now wrapping up. Warner Robins' championship win over Japan was great and all, but don't forget we had to slosh through nearly a month of televised children's programming on to get there; a kind of creepy ...
South Carolina School System, We Salute You
This clip may be somewhat off topic, but you know what? I don't care. Because it's been gnawing at my brain now for nearly 48 hours, like a game of tetris where all you get are the long, L-shaped pieces and nothing fits, and why should I be the only one to suffer? It's from the Teen Miss USA Page...
Wells Lumbers To Victory In Dodgers Debut
We have just learned what David Wells had been doing between the time the Padres cut him on Augus 6 and he was signed by the Dodgers last week. He was surfing, according to him. Mitch Yost-like, no doubt, shooting the curl at Imperial Beach like a sleek seal. Come on Wells, you never once left The B...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while touchin' 'em all ... • Basketball: Team USA beats Brazil! Several Slavic nations unimpressed. • MLB: Wells' debut for Dodgers gives Kent a headache. • NFL: Reviews for Roethlisberger are mixed as Steelers beat Eagles 27-13 ......
You're A World Series Hero! Here, Have A Milkshake
As mentioned earlier today, the Little League World Series championship started about an hour and a half ago, and it's Japan vs. Georgia, in an epic battle of which nation's future is brighter. (No, seriously. This game will determine that.)...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your a capella group practice ... 8 p.m. — NFL Preseason: Eagles at Steelers. To prepare for the telecast, Tiki Barber was handed index cards by his producers, filled with mean things to say about Donovan McNabb. [NBC] 8 p.m. — MLB: Dodgers at Mets. Come see David Wells pitch for...
How In The Heck Will He Wash His Neck If He Doesn't Have One?
Many of us are blessed, in that we were born with all of our body parts, some of which we didn't know existed until after a rigorous workout. Occasionally you hear about someone who lost a leg, like Neil Parry, who returns from intense physical rehab to again play Division I football. But a story wh...
Hey, The CFL Ain't So Bad
So you just can't wait until the NFL starts up? The suspense is killing you? Well, in Canada it's been football season for quite some time now. And I'm not saying that in some kind of pompous "I mean real football, which you silly Americans call soccer" fashion....
New Jersey Nets Dancers Are INTENSE
If you think dancing for an NBA team is just about bleaching your hair blonde, suiting up in tight-fitting Spandex, and shaking what the good Lord — or a good surgeon — gave you, then 10 years ago you were actually correct. But times have changed, and in an era where Jason Kidd is no longer legally ...
Tom Brady has eight more bastard children to go if he wants to catch up to Travis Henry. The Denver Broncos running back "fathered" nine children scattered about the southern United States, using nine different mommies. Somehow that $25 million contract wasn't enough to write off his unpaid child su...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you search for the world's most awesome sci-fi novel ... 8 p.m. — Nextel Cup: Sharpie 500, Bristol, Tennessee. Remember, men, it's not the size of the track, but how you use it. [ESPN] 9:30 p.m. — Women's Soccer: Finland at U.S. Look, there in the stands! A couple of Finnish lads...