We'd Rather See Dirk

By now, you've heard that Mark Cuban is expected to be on Dancing With The Stars next year. We find this depressing in the same way that Cuban's "The Benefactor" program was depressing; we might make fun of Cuban a bit, but he'd a damn sight more worthy a human being than Donald Trump, and here he was losing at that idiot's game.

We can't say we like Cuban's odds at succeeding on the show. For a sports owner, we supposed he's somewhat fit — we think he could probably take Abe Pollin in a fight, that is to say, and he'll surely outlast Kenny Mayne — but seriously, one of his opponents is Wayne Newton. Cuban's a fascinating guy, one who's about to shake it on television because he's desperate to break into reality television. We don't think those deciding on whether or not Cuban can buy the Cubs will be amused.

There Is A God [Uwe Blog]