w Page 5095 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Cavs, Nets Try To Out Not-Care Each Other
This is how ugly that Cavaliers-Nets series has become: The Nets scored six fourth-quarter points, on the road, facing elimination ... and they won by 11 points. As the Bulls-Pistons series stirs slowly back to life, this plodding, limping joke of a series still stumbles along, one team emerging vic...

About Last Night ...
What you missed after the knitting accident ... • NHL: Over? Did you say over? Nothing's over until we decide it is! Sabres 3, Senators 2. • NBA: Not many people happy with David Stern right now. Spurs 88, Suns 85. • MLB: John Lackey is the wind beneath our wings. Angels 5, Mariners 0....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you figure the Mets-Cubs game you have tickets for will probably get rained out ... • MLB: Detroit at Boston. The Red Sox are in desperate need of more nicknames. [ESPN] • NBA: Playoffs, Eastern Conference semifinals, New Jersey at Cleveland, Game 5; Western Conference semifinals, S...

What To Do While Bored At RFK
Last night, at RFK Stadium in DC, the Washington Nationals hosted the Atlanta Braves in a game that counted an official total of 21,258 fans. (To which we say: Yeah, right.) With the upper deck almost entirely empty — we know how this goes — one dastardly fan decided to try to construct a word out o...

Brady Quinn, Always With The Hetero Photos
Last March, Packers linebacker A.J. Hawk married Laura Quinn, whom you might remember as the double-jerseyed sister of new Browns quarterback Brady Quinn....

Lastings Milledge, Scaring All The White Mets Fans
In the annals of ridiculous Lastings Milledge photos, this one, from the New York Daily News blog, is a rather classic one: It's like if Outkast met Cliff Huxtable....

How Do You Spell "P-L-E-A-S-E L-O-R-D G-O-D S-T-O-P T-A-L-K-I-N-G?"
Sometimes we wonder if we are too hard on ESPN. Sure, collectively, they seem to have sucked the very life out of sports, packaging schtick and corporate pablum into a stew of impossible-to-digest soulless muck. (And, unlike the rest of us, they mix metaphors!) But they're still just individuals, ou...

Sophia Loren Antes Up A Couple Of Years Late
We are no strangers here to certain women who promise to remove certain clothing items if other certain things happen in the world of sports. Anyone who followed the SHOTY competition knows exactly what we mean. We get our hopes up and what happens? Heartache, nothing but heartache!...

Thanks For The Memories (At Least The Ones We Could Stay Up Late Enough For)
We salute the Golden State Warriors for the ride they've taken us on, but after last night's once-again-convincing 100-87 Jazz victory, they're the first team to be eliminated from the conference semifinals. And the Warriors fans are rather Zen about the whole thing....

Last Call For Bandwagonners
We've never been as offended by bandwagon fans as most people are. When Bill Murray started following around the Illini during their Final Four year, we didn't mind: It was Bill Murray, for crying out loud....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after another trip to the penis burn ward ... • NBA: Playoffs, conference semifinals, Chicago at Detroit, Game 5; Golden State at Utah, Game 5. Mulder believes the Warriors still have a chance. Scully does not. [TNT] • NHL: Playoffs, Western Conference final, Detroit at Anaheim, Game 3...

Eric Mangini Will Look For Help From Men In Tights
For all the talk that Bill Belichick is a genius — genius with your WIFE! — it's his former assistant Eric Mangini, with the Jets, who's making the real "Look at me, I'm a mad scientist!" moves. Witness the Jets' rookie minicamp, to which Mangini invited two potential Olympic wrestlers. This even th...

Baseball Players Are Athletes
Seriously, what happened to Antonio Alfonseca? He was always big, but ... wow. We suppose you can eat faster when you have six fingers....

Pity The Poor Buffalo Fan
Heading into the NHL playoffs, the subplot we were most excited about involved the Buffalo Sabres, a team with a long-suffering but rabid — we mean literally rabid; it's in the Buffalo drinking water — fanbase and a No. 1 seed. After they beat the Rangers, it all appeared to be coming together. At l...

Vince Carter Reveals Himself Again
Legitimate question: Why would anyone with any sort of hopes for someday winning an NBA championship spring for Vince Carter this offseason? In the most important game of the year for his Nets, Carter dribbled the ball of his foot during the final possession, ultimately shooting 6-for-23 as the Nets...

Last Call To Keep Any Of These Close
The general consensus, to this point, is that the Jazz-Warriors and Pistons-Bulls series are pretty much over: The favorites up 3-1 with two home games to close it out. Well, if the Nets and Suns can't hold serve tonight, they might be well be in the same position....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while waiting for the pizza guy to make a delivery whenever he damn well gets around to it ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at New York Mets. Can we start tearing out the seats for souvenirs yet? [ESPN] • NBA: Eastern Conference semifinals, Cleveland at New Jersey, Game 4; Western Conference se...

Grab These Domain Names While They're Hot!
Being a part of this whole Internet business, we are constantly on the lookout for any new outstanding domain names, anything that will further help penetrate the social consciousness. Thankfully, Digital Headbutt has compiled a helpful list of unclaimed sports domain names that we suggest you all b...

The Edge Of Wetness
The other day we reported on the glory that is Pee Your Pants For The Brewers, the site that wants you to pledge to pee your pants should Milwaukee win the NL Central (no fair buying pre-peed pants). In less than a week, an additional 1,644 people have vowed to wet themselves should the Brewers do t...

That Lovable Losing Bull Moose
The continued futility of Teddy Roosevelt to ever win one of the presidential mascot races at RFK Stadium has been well documented, but no one has ever thought to ask Teddy what he thinks of all the trouble he has been having. Finally, The Washington Post sits down Mr. Bull Moose for a loser's lamen...