w Page 5098 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Phillies @ Giants. Cole Hamels vs. Tim Lincecum. • 9:00, ESPNU. SportsCenterU. 2007 NCAA Men's Lacrosse Selection Show. What lucky ESPN personality drew this plum assignment? • 9:00, NBC. Saturday Night Live in the '90s. Pop Culture Nation. Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet would make...

Roger To The Rescue; Clemens To Be A Yankee Again
With much credit to you crazy commenters, Roger Clemens announced today that he's returning to the Yankees. I wasn't watching the game, I have no idea what happened ... but The Sports Frog is all over it, and I'm just going to quote the Frog's garyclark:...

Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Cavaliers Vs. Nets
The second round continues with two more matchups today. We've already previewed Suns-Spurs tonight....

Not Bad, Oscar
Amazing. A heavily-promoted pay-per-view fight that left the fans standing and cheering at the end, without a great amount of controversy. Hm. They should try that again sometime....

Floyd Mayweather Jr. Is An Ass Doc
While we're all still basking in the glow of that one horse's victory, we've NBA playoffs, including a Game 7, and then Game 1 between arguably the East's two best teams. In addition, there's a Nextel Cup race, NHL playoff action, and of course, De La Hoya vs. Mayweather. Punching each other in the ...

To Watch Tonight...
• 7:00, TNT. NBA. Chicago Bulls @ Detroit Pistons, Game One. Does anyone know who Ben Wallace played for last season? • 7:25, IFC. The Station Agent. It's not sports-related (even though that one guy does wear a Miami Hurricanes basketball jersey), but it's one of my favorites. • 9:00, Pay Per View....

I Guess You Can't Be A Successful Quarterback Until You've Been With A Man
If this week has taught us anything, it's that gay-themed pictures of quarterbacks do not hurt their career. Above is Georgia quarterback Matthew Stafford and a friend getting cozy at a secluded, romantic little spot on the infield at Talladega. Hey, when the mood strikes, the mood strikes....

Bad Sign for Brady Quinn: He's Taking Joe Theismann Seriously
Brady Quinn's dreams had just been peed on for 4½ straight hours before finding out he was going to be spending his career in the high-fashion mecca of Cleveland ... I thought we could all forgive him if he looked a bit disheveled. Joe Theismann could not....

Meet Hawaii's Stank Football Team
Colt Brennan, quarterback at the University of Hawaii, considered giving up his senior season at Hawaii in favor of the NFL Draft. But he opted to return, because he wants three things: a conference championship for the Warriors, a shot at the Heisman, and some goddamn soap....

If This Continues, Darin Erstad Might Want to Grab a Helmet
Catching a fly ball against the backdrop of dozens of retina-searing white lights can't be easy. Every now and then, you're going to lose one ... and in such instances, you're going to stand there and look like a chump. It happens to the best of them. But that doesn't make it less amusing....

We Wish We Had Relatives Like This
• Saying goodbye to Josh Hancock. • The Bermanator! • Adam Morrison, raging against the machine. • The Seventh Floor Crew is now getting paid. • Joe Thomas' aunt rules. • Why do we still pay attention to George Steinbrenner? • Yes, we have a Comment Ombudsman column. • Mike Vick ... don't you ever c...

We'd Keep Our Distance From Mavs Fans This Morning
It was not a good night to be a Dallas fan last night — it really hasn't been a good year to be a fan of any Dallas sports team — but it's really not a happy experience to be Dirk Nowitzki right now ... and it probably won't be for quite some time, writes True Hoop....

NBA Blogdome: Whoa, Nellie!
What they're saying in the blogs about Golden State's first-round series win over the Mavericks ......

The View From Oracle Arena: Proof It Really Happened
Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler was at the Oracle Arena in Oakland last night to watch the Golden State Warriors finish off the Dallas Mavericks. Here's his account of the experience....

Crunch Time For The Warriors ... And Their Fans
Well, all right, kids, we think you probably agree with us when we say that if the Warriors can’t clinch their series against the Mavericks in that Thunderdome, they’re not likely to sneak out a Game 7 in Dallas. So tonight is, for all intents and purposes, the deciding game. And it’s the biggest ni...

Call This "A Warning Sign"
Because there's little more amusing than a crazed fan unleashed on YouTube, we introduce you to "Kitney2Furrey," a Tigers booster who has been posting pretty much every day during the season. We are so glad we didn't watch the World Series with this guy last year. Not only would we have been blinded...

Son, This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You
Every new father has had the idea: If I can somehow start training him at birth, I can make my son into a world-class athlete. This tends not to work out well....

Boxing's Last Gasp
Finally, after putting it off for a couple of weeks, we sat down and watched all episodes of "De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7" last night; enough people had told us we were required to take a look that we sucked it up. And we agree with Robert Weintraub from Slate: It is more fun than anything involving ...

Brady Quinn Is Making Friends
We're not sure what's going on with this photo, which appears to be of the newest Cleveland Brown Brady Quinn — sans more hair and gallons of pomade — and, frankly, we don't want to....

Jay Gibbons Has Amazing Aim On His Foul Balls
Could spousal abuse be a stepping stone to career advancement? Hey, ask Brett Myers. (Or Bobby Cox, for that matter.)...