w Page 5099 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Bay Area Calls Out Mr. Barkley
So Charles Barkley has been having a little fun at the Bay Area's expense during his TNT commentary on the Mavericks-Warriors series. Saying "Oakland sucks" on national television and wearing a Mavericks jersey, well, fine. While it's a bit like rooting for Margaret Dumont in a Marx Bros. film, we s...

Keeps The Hot Side Hot, The Cool Side Cool!
As if tennis weren't odd enough, we give you the half grass, half clay playing surface. On the right is Wimbledon champ Roger Federer, who is unbeaten in 48 matches on grass, and on the left is French Open champ Rafael Nadal, unbeaten in 72 matches on clay. In the middle is a confused referee, and o...

ESPN Trots Out The Barbaro Crazies Again
We have enjoyed, in this week of Barbaro remembrance, the new focus on the kind, not-at-all-unbalanced souls who worship at the altar of the great lost champion, the ones we've been following with somewhat concerned fascination over the last year. Without fail, every reporter who talks to the Dee Mi...

Yes, She Should Fit Right In With The Dawg Pound
Via ESPN's Draft Blog and Hardaway Hates Pittsburgh, we present the aunt of new Cleveland Browns offensive tackle Joe Thomas....

Keyshawn's Final Moments As A Panther
If you want to relieve the sublime comedy of Keyshawn Johnson's "excitement" after learning that the Carolina Panthers drafted his "buddy" Dwayne Jarrett — thus securing his release from the team — the video above has the complete footage. It was funny at the time, but it improves considerably knowi...

Five Minutes With Jeremy Hotz
Introducing Standing Room Only, a new feature in which Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler pulls a stand-up comedian off of the street, briefly interrogates him about sports in a dimly lit room, then sets him free. Today, it's Ottawa's own Jeremy Hotz....

Behold, The Power Of Beer
You scoffed when Brewers' fans predicted big things for their team this season. But then they rolled out the Mighty 12-Person Beer Bong, and, well, who's laughing now, bitches?...

What Should Happen To All People Who Wear White Levis
This is an old video, but we've never seen it before, which is odd, because we have every episode of Hard Copy on DVD. So a bully smacks around a few people and is feeling pretty good about himself, until an ex-boxer steps in and administers a little vigilante justice. So many things to hold our int...

This Is Also Why NBA Refs Drive Cabs In The Offseason
The big story this morning? A study by a couple of Ivy Leaguers "reveals" that white referees call disproportionately high number of foul calls on black players and, to a lesser extent, vice versa. We find it amusing, first off, that they found enough white players for the study....

Please Don't Let This Series Ever End
It is clear, at this point, that the Mavericks-Warriors series is hazardous to the health of anyone happening to be watching at home. What a travesty that these beautiful, crazed, maddening games are ending so late; it's impossible to watch this series and not think the NBA might be the most league ...

Golden State's Chance To Make History (And Probably Kill Cuban)
Imagine the ramifications if, perchance, the Warriors eliminate the Mavericks tonight. First off, poor Dirk Nowitzki might never show his face in public again, or at least not around his coach. We'll have proof that the Warriors sold their souls to the devil. And Don Nelson will have his final, brut...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Victor Conte makes his cheerful evening delivery ... • NBA: Playoffs, first round, New Jersey at Toronto, Game 5; Golden State at Dallas, Game 5. Charles Barkley says take the Mavs and give the points. [TNT] • NHL: Playoffs, Eastern Conference semifinals, Buffalo at New York Rangers...

Children Are Here Merely For Our Amusement
Tired of the sluggish, plodding nature of regular sumo wrestling? Worry not! Now you can combine all the fun of regular sumo wrestling with the nimble, lithe movements of newborn babies!...

In The '90s, They'd Make A Poster Of Anything
A reader on vacation in Sanibel Island, Fla., stumbled into a sports bar where the above poster was prominently displayed....

Officiating Roundup: Kingsley Gets A Red Card
Poor Kingsley. Even though he has the wise foresight to wear pants, the mascot was still unceremoniously tossed from the stadium on Monday during a Premiere League soccer match in London. We for one wouldn't stand for such treatment, Kingsley! You've got a lawsuit here....

Pac Man Would Like His Job Again Please
For all the big apology full-page newspaper ads he has placed, Pac Man Jones isn't quite ready to give up the ghost just yet: He's appealing his year-long suspension to NFL commissioner Roger Goodell....

Fear The Beard
We never really noticed it until Monday afternoon, when KNBR Radio's Ted Robinson brought it up, but Baron Davis' stellar play against the Mavericks so far might be the best point guard performance by a beard since Walt Frazier led the Knicks to the NBA title in 1973. Sure, other beards have perform...

Corpse Of Steinbrenner Still Has Employees Who Use Fax Machines
Look out, Yankees! George Steinbrenner is filing some strongly worded memos!...

Under Armor Employees Like Being On TV
A few days ago, they had "Under Armor" day at Camden Yards, where a gaggle of Under Armor employees showed up to, we dunno, make grown men realize how they're too out of shape to possibly buy their products. One of their employees apparently had a bit too much to drink, and when he showed up on live...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while going through your baseball card collection ... • MLB: St. Louis at Milwaukee. Gentlemen, it's time to fire up the 12-person beer bong! [ESPN] • NBA: Playoffs, first round, Utah at Houston, Game 5; San Antonio at Denver, Game 4. Jazz hope they are eliminated before new season of ...