w Page 5118 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Pennywise The Clown Hearts The Heat
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap This is Michael Beasley of the Heat, throwing up a shot at the other end of the court for no good reason other than he was scared shitless because that Ronald McDonald clown in the...
The Promising Backups That Paved the Way for Matt Cassel's Padded Bank Account
Continuing with our economic theme today, the market outlook seems awfully bullish for New England Patriots backup turned starter Matt Cassel. After his big time coming out party on Thursday night, in which Bill Simmons drunkenly compared him to John Elway, Cassel looks to have set himself up for qu...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Charlie Weis Should Do Pushups Everytime Notre Dame Scores
• 12:00 — College Football: Navy vs. Notre Dame [CBS], Ohio State vs. Illinois [ESPN] - Navy looks to go streaking against Charlie Weis! • 1:40 — Movie: White Men Can't Jump - D’s, motherfucker, D’s [Cinnemax] • 2:30 — Do the Dew: World of Adventure Sports [NBC] • 3:30 — College Football: Minnesota ...
Lightning Gamble on Rick Tocchet
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap While Barry Melrose waited over a decade to take another head coaching job in the NHL, the Tampa Bay Lightning waited only 16 games to fire him. Rick Tocchet will step in as head co...
A Toast To This Smut-Filled Week of Debauchery
Thank GOD this week is over. Christ. Between going out on dates with dim-witted strippers, gloom-and-doom reports from management, litigious MMA fighters and threats from spatially-challenged U of F co-eds, this week has been a perfect storm of corporate drudgery. Well, not the stripper. But that wa...
The Sabathia Subway Series Has Begun
Both the Mets and Yankees believe that they have one more large object to intsall in their brand new ballparks, and it ain't a deep fryer; although it will consume many, many cheese fries. Today is the day that teams can begin negotiating with free agents from other teams, and both of New York's res...
Brace Yourselves ... There's Another Baby Mangino ...
Ok, I did not see this one coming. Believe it or not, there are least two different families somewhere in the United States that decided that the perfect Halloween costume for their young infant was to dress him up like Kansas football coach Mark Mangino. What are the odds of that happening twice in...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you seethe with anger all weekend over this crap ... • College Football: Cincinnati Bearcats at Lousiville Cardinals (8:00 p.m., ET) How can something be a bear and a cat? [ESPN2] • NBA: Doubleheader: Denver Nuggets at Boston Celtics (8:00 p.m., ET)/Detroit Pistons at Los Angeles...
Ad Agency Behind Controversial ESPN Spot Speaks: "It Wasn't Meant to Offend Anyone"
Many of you saw Awful Announcing's fascinating post about the leaked casting call item for an upcoming ESPN commercial. The concept seemed innocent enough: "The spots take place in the ESPN College Basketball Call Center (CBBCC). All of these guys are there representing their schools, calling people...
'Slightly Awkward, A Little Dorky And A Little Cute In A Weird Way'; Our Ladies Rate Bill Simmons
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
College Football Preview: Avoiding Landmines Edition
Now that everyone knows exactly what's going to happen with the rest of the college football season, this is when something inevitably blows up. Because if there's one thing we know about the convoluted BCS system, it's this: nothing is certain with three weekends to go. Alabama still has to get pa...
Former Arizona Wildcats Get Punchy In Europe
Have you heard the one about how in Russia they do things in the opposite way that you would expect them to happen elsewhere? It's a hilarious gag! It might also be the explanation for what went wrong in this Russian basketball game. A minor melee broke out, there was some slight pushing and shovin...
The Packers Are One Step Closer to that Second Round Draft Pick
Last night's ridiculous Jets-Patriots battle in Foxborough turned out to be everything a football fan could hope for , with the requisite Favreian/Spygate intrigue thrown in for good measure. But even though Favre ended up on the winning end of things and played a mistake-free, efficient game, it wa...
Lenny Dykstra's Financial Acumen Called Into Question (Again)
Did that Lenny "Wally Wall Street" Dykstra story from yesterday seem a little fishy? (And familiar?) Well yes, his troubles with a few of his business partners have been well documented, but those were just friendly disagreements over strategy and don't really change the fact that the guy is filthy ...
George W. Bush: Fan Of The Sun Devils ... Or The Shocker?
If you've been on the Internet lately, you've probably seen this picture of the President of the United States making a hand gesture that you probably wouldn't make in front of your own mother. He only did it while posing with the men's and women's track teams from Arizona State University and then ...
Alright You Lowlifes, The Boy From Eastern Illinois Is Back
Just a handful of moments after announcing that Tony Romo would return to action this week, Jerry Jones puffed himself up and guaranteed that the Cowboys would make the playoffs. I believe the term he used is that they would "absolutely" be there. Also, Jones said that he would welcome back Pacman J...
Welcome To The House Of Chads
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject : Morning crap Why do I get the feeling that this isn't the only room in Chad Johnson's home that is full of giant portraits of himself? In a move usually reserved for Latin American dictators or...
Contentious Media Dork Calls Bill Simmons a "Jock Washer"
Throughout Bill Simmons ongoing mysterious Andy Dufresne saga with the WWL over his podcast, his NFL Picks column, and his treatment at Page 2, his thinly-veiled digs have, for the most part, only been scrutinized by the sports media watchers fascinated by the Sports Fella's every move.(Myself inclu...
The Seminoles vs. The Sigmas: A Blow-By-Blow Account
More details are floating in about the battle royale between members of the Florida State football team and the Phi Beta Sigma fraternity and if they turn out to be true ... they are amazing. The Seminole fan blog I Bleed Garnet and Gold has what is reported to be an eyewitness account of the procee...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you fail your interview at the White House ... • College Football: Virginia Tech Hokies at Miami Hurricanes (7:30 p.m., ET) Something's gotta give. It might be my La-Z-Boy. [ESPN] • MLS: East Conference Final: Chicago Fire at Columbus Crew (7:30 p.m., ET) Oh, I just bought a new ...