w Page 5120 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Install Texas Stadium End Zone in Your Back Yard (Cheerleaders Included)
In a blatant effort to rearm the Salvation Army in order to fight street to street in the urban centers and rural battlegrounds of America, Jerry Jones and a Coalition of the Willing to Appear Charitable in a Very Public Fashion have offered a unique combination of the gauche and the gaucho to the w...
New York HS Team Beefs Up At QB
Usually, "freak of nature" is a moniker reserved for an overly-gifted athlete with little regard for his teammates or the intricacies of game. But Ellenville (NY) High's Tony Casamento is a little bit different. Tony has to be the heaviest quarterback in America, checking in at a svelte 309 pounds. ...
No Word If Kutcher Is Asking Them For Painkillers
If you thought appearing in a bunch of shitty movies and banging some waif who was barely girl-next-door hot 20 years ago would impress a group of high school freshman football players, dude, you'd be, like, totally wrong and shit! There's a fun report out from Star regarding Ashton Kutcher's latest...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Kristi Yamaguchi Also Has Free Nights and Weekends
• 12:00 — Sport: College Football - Michigan at Minnesota [ESPN] and Ohio State at Northwestern [ESPN2] - Your Big Ten liver warmups. (Also, Baylor at Texas on FSN and Syracuse at Rutgers on ESPNU.) • 3:30 — Sport: College Football - Alabama at LSU [CBS], Stanford at Oregon [FSN], and Regional Potpo...
Week In Review: Don't You Wish We All Could Be As Happy As Baby Mangino?
Here are some of this week's stories that didn't have anything to do with Caitlin Davis. • The Brady Quinn era begins...with a loss • How to open a beer with ...Nazi shark! • Joey Porter: professional trash talker • More trouble for the Olson family.• Barack Obama is elected: Some surprisingly good ...
You, Miss, Are No Erin Andrews
I know Halloween was a week ago and we're way past the time where we should be comparing whose costume was better than whose—because that discussion is over—but it's Friday afternoon and I received an email in my inbox that I could not let go over the weekend. There was no message, just the attached...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you waste the rest of your day rolling fake dice ... • NBA: Miami Heat at San Antonio Spurs (8:00 p.m., ET) Who is your favorite Hot? [ESPN] • College Football: Nevada Wolf Pack at Fresno State Bulldogs (9:00 p.m., ET) So it's like a ... dog fight? [ESPN2] • NBA: Dallas Mavericks...
New York Rangers Still Have Receipt For Dead Prospect
It's been almost four whole weeks since the New York Rangers' top draft pick Alexei Cherepanov collapsed and died during a league game in Russia, so the team probably figures that enough time has passed that someone should address the needs of those who have been most effected by this senseless trag...
And At Week's End, The First Chapter In The Caitlin Davis Penis-Drawing Kerfluffle Comes To A Close
The story of young Ms. Caitlin Davis is a sad one, as the once wholesome New England Patriots' cheerleader went from budding pom-pom sweetheart of Foxboro to loathsome alleged Anti-Semite, both nationally and internationally, in a short period of time. (So sayeth the Italians: "Caitlin nei fotogramm...
Masking Tape, An Inebriated Friend, And The Shocking Discovery Of Boyfriend Internet Porn
Once upon a time, a site called The Black Table had a regular feature entitled Waxing Off, in which women gathered in an online roundtable to discuss issues of the day, and also to make fun of Will Leitch's shoes. And so we got to thinking: With so many great female sports bloggers out there, why no...
Ryan Leaf Has Gone and Ryan Leaf'd Himself Yet Again
And...scene. Former inept NFL quarterback Ryan Leaf seemed poised for success while coaching at DII West Texas A & M , but thanks to a recent pill-popping scandal, that career path might also be over for good. At first, Leaf was given a leave of absence by the university for him to work on his "pers...
College Football Preview: John Parker Wilson's Cell Phone Belongs to the Cajuns
Alabama's John Parker Wilson is the latest SEC player attempting to overcome the LSU fans snagging his cell phone number and listing it everywhere on the internets. Confounding Cajuns. You'll recall that earlier this season Knowshon Moreno and A.J. Green were the victims. They joined Tim Tebow from...
If They've Named It 'The Cage Of Death,' You Know It's Safe
There are many times in life when you're justified in saying 'I'm not getting in there.' The Raiders' Black Hole immediately comes to mind, as do the restrooms at Ralph Wilson Stadium. And I've also pretty much made it a rule never to allow myself to be submerged amongst enormous, hungry crocodiles;...
Quinn's Debut Inspires A Nation, Browns Lose As Usual
With all the excitement over the big stimulus package that was the debut of Brady Quinn and the return of Kellen Winslow — turns out they're real, and they're fantastic — we all ignored the real issues: Jay Cutler and Brandon McDonald. The shy, self-effacing Broncos quarterback threw for 447 yards a...
Chicago Fans Remain Classy Even When It Comes To Soccer
I'm not sure whether this represents a particular disdain for ESPN, or if Chicago fans just enjoy flipping the bird in general ... I'm guessing the latter. One thing we do know: The time of Boston sports dominance really does appear to be over. As I'm sure you're aware, Chicago beat New England on T...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while you "accidentally" steal someone's car ... • College Football: Maryland Terrapins at Virginia Tech Hokies (7:30 p.m., ET) Something is definitely hokey here. [ESPN] • College Football: TCU Horned Frogs at Utah Utes (8:00 p.m., ET) Great horny toads! [CBS College Sports No one get...
Lute Olson Soap Opera Gets A Little More Creepy
It's safe to say that the last couple years of Lute Olson's life have been difficult. Health problems and a nasty public divorce led him to miss most of last season on the bench at Arizona and walk out on his team just before this one began. But it seems that the split from his wife, Christine, is e...
Cocaine Is A Helluva Drug
That's the second time that phrase has been used today, but in this case it seems much more appropriate. This will air on Friday's "Best Damn Sports Show Period". I love how terrified Chris Rose looks after it happens. It's almost like he's just realized that Lawrence Taylor is, in fact, crazy and ...
Texas Lineman Gets Kicked Off Team for Racist Facebook Message to Barack Obama
The big galoot pictured here is Buck Burnette, back up center for the University of Texas Longhorns. Check that — former back up center. You see, good ol' boy Buck here thought it would be funny to update his Facebook profile status with this message soon after Barack Obama's election: ...
Going For Gold At The Peasant Olympics
You didn't think that China spent $500 million of our hard-earned mortgage debt on the Bird's Nest just so some namby pamby athletes could run around inside it for two weeks and then let it sit empty, did you? There are plenty of other athletic contests that can be held there. Like the popular and e...