w Page 5127 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Finally, Rik Smits And Michael Irvin Come Together
Aside from a cocaine-infused party at a French-Canadian brothel, I can't think of many ventures that could bring together the likes of Michael Irvin, Jose Canseco, Kordell Stewart, Darryl Strawberry and Claude Lemieux. Those four are part of the cast for the new season of Pros vs. Joes on SpikeTV....

To Watch Tonight...
• College Basketball. Iowa @ Ohio State. Monitor the progress of Greg Oden's beard. 8:00, ESPNU. • College Football. Dell East-West Shrine Game. Dude, you're gettin' a worthless football game. 7:00, ESPN. • College Basketball. Georgia Tech @ North Carolina. I'm sure there will be many diaper-diandie...

The NBA's Shame
I've been critical of David Stern and his obsessively fascist measures to cultivate a friendly, lilly-white non-threatening image for the NBA, but perhaps I was misguided on that....

Week In Deadspin: Any Football Going On Sunday?
• Kwame Brown wants his cake, goddammit! • Rick Chandler and hist history with Tom Brady. • Mark McGwire Speaks! (Kind of.) • Saints fans were rather happy last week. • Our Cardinals meet the Prez. • Tom Brady and Gisele. Keep an eye on that guy; he's an up-and-comer. • David Beckham, still everywhe...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after an exhausting afternoon of Winnie the Pooh Day festivities ... • Boxing: Light welterweights, champion Randall (George) Bailey vs. Michael (The Roaming Gnome) Warrick, for IBA championship, at Key West, Fla. [ESPN2]; Junior featherweights, Juan Manuel Lopez vs. Cuauhtemoc (The At...

AFC Championship Pants Party: Colts Vs. Patriots
All right, Colts-Pats. We'll take it. It's a canned storyline, but it's still a fun one ... particularly if Peyton Manning has to drive the Colts down the field with less than two minutes and the Pats up by, like, four. That sounds amazing....

The First Rule Of Pillow Fight Club: Do Not Talk About Pillow Fight Club
"Pillow fights were different in my day," said the old man, his wrinkled features revealing the memories. "We didn't have these modern synthetic pillows, or neck pillows with lumbar back support. We used the real thing, with feathers! Yeah, sometimes they'd bust open. But that was the chance you too...

NFC Championship Pants Party: Bears Vs. Saints
We're not sure what more we can say about any of these games, except to say that Rex Grossman vs. Drew Brees is certainly the marquee quarterback matchup of Sunday, without question....

This Week In Soccer: At Last, Consequences For Taking A Dive
Marco Borriello is a soccer player for Milan who recently failed a drug test following a match with Roma, but had a very interesting excuse in his defense. You've heard of accidentally testing positive for banned substances by eating a poppyseed muffin, or taking cough medicine? Well, take a look at...

Ice Jumping Seems To Be Rather Important In Norway
As you might have suspected, we do not speak Norwegian; we're not even that fluent in Swedish Chef. So we're going from a rough translation here, but apparently a Norwegian women's ski jumping team is in trouble for punishing poor jumps by punching the offender in the face....

You Fought The Law, And The Saints Won
If you're wondering whether or not those in the New Orleans area are as fired up for this Sunday's NFC Championship Game as the typically terrifying Bears fans are, here's a little proof for you: In a current court case involving Fay Thibodeaux Danos against Avondale Industries, they're actually pos...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after your plans to jog around the globe hit a snag ... • College men's basketball: Massachusetts at Xavier [ESPN]; Wake Forest at Duke. You know, an enterprising thief could rob Krzyzewskiville blind tonight ... [ESPN2] • NBA: Indiana at Miami; L.A. Lakers at Dallas. Let's see how man...

Deadspin's Heading To Miami And Looking For Direction
As we've mentioned before, AJ Daulerio — whom we hear is the balls — will, for the second consecutive year, be covering the Super Bowl for us, and we couldn't be more excited. (We're not going ourselves; we don't handle sunlight well.) The guy's got an expense account, a laptop and a penchant for ge...

The Tony Romo Kama Sutra
In a disturbing and undeniably amusing listing of the top 50 new sexual positions, the Phat Phree comes up with a novel one: The Tony Romo....

This Time, They Weren't Flopping
During a South African soccer match earlier this week, a sudden gust of wind hit the obviously shoddily constructed stadium. What happened after that is gruesome and amazing. Somebody give that sign a red card. A couple, actually....

Joumana Kidd Has Much Havoc Left To Wreak
Adrian Wojnarowski's column a couple of days ago on Joumana Kidd and the shitstorm she's about to dump on the New Jersey Nets organization contained this fascinating tidbit:...

This Man Has A Message For You About The Patriots
One More Dying Quail brings us this video of the nightmarish stereotype that all Boston sports fans fear. This guy thinks the Patriots deserve more respect, we think. After this, we suspect he played Golden Tee for six hours, and then got in a fight....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you repeat to yourself it's just a show, I should really just relax ... • College basketball: North Carolina at Clemson [ESPN]; Illinois at Minnesota. [ESPN2]. Half of these teams are going to the NIT. And we think they're in the same conference. Sigh. • NBA: L.A. Lakers at San Anto...

Kwame Brown Has No Concerns About Excess Flour Intake
Sometimes, we just don't have to say anything, other than, well, this must have been what Michael Jordan had in mind when he drafted him....

More Reasons To Avoid Super Bowl Commercials
The New York Daily News reported yesterday that portly pop diva Britney Spears — known as third from the left on the music evolutionary chart, with Hillary Duff on the far left and Courtney Love on the far right — was turned down by the NFL Network when she approached them about appearing in a Super...