w Page 5142 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
You Need Sunglasses To Watch This Team Play
College basketball is slowly tipping off, with a bunch of high-profile schools taking turns writing a check to places like Savannah State and Florida A&M and letting the backups get some work in while cruising to uninspired 25-point victories. (Our Illini begin this process tonight against old nemes...
Nothing Says Old-Fashioned Like "Citifield"
This, friends, is the new stadium for the New York Mets, still out in Flushing and expected to open in 2009. It is designed, like most stadiums are these days, as a throwback to the old-timey fields of the '50s, with smidgens of Ebbets Field and the Polo Grounds mixed in with, you know, big skybox...
NFL Roundup: Strange Thoughts In East Rutherford
News And Notes From Week 10 in the NFL....
NFC Supremacy Is Sort Of On the Line
There's a switch on Rex Grossman's back that goes from "Spectacular" to "Scott Mitchell," and it's not a dimmer switch. It's one or the other. So far this season, he's been Christ-like, or he's been Train Wreck Rex....
To Watch Tonight...
• NFL: Chicago Bears @ New York Giants. It's getting cold, Kyle Orton. Time to thicken that beard up. 8:15, NBC. • NBA: Houston Rockets @ Miami Heat. Tracy McGrady called Yao Ming the best center in basketball last night. I guess we'll see. 8:00, ESPN. • College Basketball: CBE Classic: Columbia @ D...
Wedgies Vs. Crack
Too few headlines feature the word "wedgie," and I thank Whittier Vocational Technical High School and the school administrators for helping to rectify that. A few players on the the football team are accused of giving wedgies to younger team members. And since that violates the school's hazing po...
The Violent Tendencies Of Isiah Thomas
Spurs forward Bruce Bowen has a habit of sliding his feet under the feet of the man he's guarding when they go up for a jumpshot. It's an extremely dirty and dangerous play, and Bowen's got a history with it. Both Ray Allen and Vince Carter have wanted to beat his ass at various points in the not-to...
To Watch Tonight...
• College Football: Oregon @ USC. Oregon might want to consider officially changing their name to "The Eyesores." 10:15, FSN. • College Football: Tennessee @ Arkansas. Porno names: Jim Bob Cooter vs. Casey Dick. 7:00, ESPN2. • College Football: Alabama @ LSU. Porno names: Jimmy Johns vs. Richard Dic...
Let's Revisit That Rose Bowl, USC
Yahoo! Sports, seemingly dedicated to the sole pursuit of torturing the University of Southern California, has done some digging about the instant replay booth in last year's national championship game. They've discovered that it was an incorrectly hooked-up replay monitor that prevented the prope...
Football Game Delays Vote Counting; You'll Never Guess Where
No more than 3,500 votes separate U.S. Rep Deborah Pryce and her democratic challenger, Mary Jo Killroy in the Ohio congressional race. There are still 18,000 absentee and provisional ballots to be counted. You'd think they might want to count those as soon as possible ... but they're not....
Week In Review: Rutgers Now, Rutgers Forever
• The Sportshuman Of The Year Tournament has begun! • JERSEY! • That's some wide receiver ass. • Everywhere you look, there's Ned. • If Dan Patrick isn't talking to you, he's a dick! • Chris, who let Christian Slater in here? • Hey, watch the dreads! • Drew Tate ... CLEVER! • To steal Drew's line, "...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch on the TV in the holding cell ... • College football: Texas-El Paso at Alabama at Birmingham. Both teams will be running faster than a hobo with a sweet potato pie (thanks Dan). [ESPN2] • Golf: HSBC Champions, third round, at Shanghai. Happy beautiful people's golf cooperative welcomes...
Who's Sorry Now? Adios Macaca Edition
It's Heartfelt Friday, three days following the elections, and never before have so many politicians been so terribly, terribly sorry. Chief among them is George Allen — son of the former Washington Redskins coach — who was riding high in the polls in August before an unfortunate turn of phrase sent...
NBA Roundup: I Read The NOOCH Today, Oh Boy
Notes from Thursday's games in the National Basketball Association:...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you confirm the existence of New York, NM ... population 362 ... • College football: Louisville at Rutgers. Back in August, this didn't look so compelling. But now ... [ESPN] • Golf: HSBC Champions, second round, at Shanghai. Thanks for killing one of our rare Pandas with that slice...
Blasted Apart, With Just A Hint Of Juniper
Ladies and gentlepersons, we proudly introduce you to SeasonShot. What is it? It's a shotgun that saved you the trouble of having to spice your meat! You can blast a bird out of the air and lightly pepper it with coriander at the same time! We'll let the inventors describe it:...
Welcome Back, Dwight Gooden
After seven months in jail — in a jail in Florida, no less — fallen phenom Dwight Gooden is scheduled to be released today. A time has not been announced yet. Gooden's jail time was intriguing because he could have chosen three years probation but decided not to, because another drug offense during ...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Yogi Berra says something that makes our head explode ... • College men's basketball: 2K Sports College Hoops Classic, New Orleans vs. Hampton; Maryland vs. Vermont, at College Park, Md. We love college basketball before the offense is put in. [ESPN2] • Golf: HSBC Champions, first r...
Is It Too Late To Cast Tom Cruise?
We missed our copy of ESPN: The Magazine this week, so we didn't catch this terrifying, surreal tidbit, but the fine folks at Dirty Laundry did:...
Etan Thomas Has Got Your Peace RIGHT HERE
When Washington Wizards forward Etan Thomas isn't busy extolling the virtues of Abe Pollin's prostate in lyrical poem form or reminding us that David Stern doesn't care about black people, apparently, he whittles away the hours getting in fights with teammate Brendan Haywood....