w Page 5166 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Hey! Game 2 Is Here! What, Already?
Thanks for the three-day delay between games at the same site, NBA. Kobe might have to skip out on the Olympics with this series scheduled to go on for the entirety of the summer. Just more time for Paul Pierce to get ready to play act some more and Kobe to prepare to be swallowed up by more Celtic...

Wayne Rooney Stag Party Photos Make Eye Gouging Sound Fun
Man U's Wayne Rooney is having a "stag do" (Huh? Googling, googling, googling...oh! A stag party. Crazy Brits.) in Ibiza in advance of his marriage to fiancee Coleen McLoughlin. Among the zany antics, Wayne has been ordered to wear a mankini , the green thongish thing Borat wore in the movie, by s...

Hand Me The Pissing Wedge
Urologist Floyd Seskin developed the UroClub (as opposed to the Spaniard-bashing stick I invented, the EuroClub) for golfers who would like to relieve themselves without the long trip back to the clubhouse. It's made to look like a 7-iron and make you look like a tool. And it's yours for the low, l...

The Red Wings Are Taking Good Care Of Lord Stanley's Cup
The Detroit Red Wings have been partying it up with their newly acquired Stanley Cup, taking it to defenseman Chris Chelios' downtown Detroit restaurant for a night of boozing. Play nice with her, fellas. Oop. Too late. You already damaged it. Busted Coverage has a short recap of some of the revelry...

Meet The Mets, Beat The Mets
A dastardly sot went after Mr. Met at a game last Saturday, the New York Post reports. So bound and determined was he to inflict pain on the mascot, he wasn't going to let children, or pregnant women or rare butterflies get in his way. Is hurting mascots all that fun? Seems like somebody has seen t...

This Should Quiet Those Stupid "True Yankee" Questions
This faithful little guttersnipe is Gerrit Cole, pictured here at the tender age of 11 attending the 2001 World Series, who this week was selected as the Yankees first-round pick. Yesterday capped a pretty good week for Cole, as the Bombers returned to .500, where they seems to be teetering lately,...

Live Blog: Belmont Stakes
Can no-longer-Hooters-sponsored Big Brown be the first Triple Crown winner since Carl Yastrzemski Affirmed in 1978? In the 30 years since, 10 horses have been in Big Brown's position, looking for the sweep. With Japanese import Casino Drive gone, what was already being called a certain victory by t...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch while hoping there's not a twist at the end of this one......

Jesus Sportsblogging Christ, I Hate This Ad
Forgive the momentary diversion, but I've taken as much as I can from this G2 ad and I can't takes no more. Seriously, what the fuck is the deal with this thing? The Sporting Blog had a fine piece the other week decrying the various grating NBA Playoff commercials that are quickly driving us to self...

The Inane "Cubs Fans-White Sox Fans: Who's Hotter?" Debate Rages On
This should make for some interesting conversation at the Pants Party [The Sports Hernia]...

The Internet Hooligan Database Gives You Seven Stars Out of Ten For Bludgeoning
Euro 2008 gets underway today and to head off the inevitable flurry of violence that's just going to happen anyway, authorities in Switzerland have sent out letters of warning to 320 people who are listed on the country's hooligan database....

Wes Welker's Musical Belly Button Captivates Crowd
A few members of the New England Patriots got crazy karaoke-style for Larryoke, a charity event organized by Pats' special teams captain Larry Izzo. Those in attendance were blown away by Wes Welker's belly button rendition of "MacArthur Park". That thing's got some pipes....

Kwame Kilpatrick Will Never Send You Naughty Text Messages After This
Beleaguered Detroit mayor Kwame Kilpatrick was not received warmly at the Red Wings victory extravaganza yesterday. Maybe it has something to do with the sundry scandals and the vetoing of the funds set aside to remove him from office. The booing doesn't even fade after the proffering of free beer. ...

About Last Night...
What you missed while amassing your army of humanzees in anticipation of the Deadspin power vacuum......

So, Yeah, Active Week
• See ya, Hirshey. • See ya ... what? See ya ... us? • If the Cubs are gonna keep winning, at least this happened. • Uh, yikes. • This guy is the greatest. • Ron Artest, journalist. • Drew, out of the closet. • We're not sure we'd get along with Chuck Bednarik. • Everybody likes that Kimbo Slice cha...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you say goodbye to the Hockey Night In Canada theme song ... • Boxing: Light welterweights, Herman Ngoudjo vs. Souleymane M'Baye, in Montreal (8:30 p.m., ET). A limit of 140 pounds? My tonsils weigh more than that. [ESPN2] • College Baseball: NCAA Division I Tournament, super region...

Evander Holyfield Would Appreciate It If You'd Pick Up The Check
So Evander Holyfield is broke. His $10 million house (featuring 17 bathrooms and a bowling alley) is in foreclosure, he's behind in child support payments, and things are generally looking bleak. And people, it's your fault. You just aren't buying enough Real Deal Grills! Why not? Dual temperature c...

Your Belmont Stakes Preview
Tomorrow Big Brown takes a run at the Triple Crown in the Belmont Stakes. A horse hasn't swept the Triple Crown in 30 years, so we're told it's kind of a big deal if it actually happens. We've asked Angelo Grasso of the Gowanus Rotisserie Baseball Gazette to preview it for us....

Tony Kornheiser Questions His Own Commitment To Monday Night Football
Tony Kornheiser, the PTI maestro and everyman reporting genius, offered some extremely candid criticism of himself as a member of the Monday Night Football Crew....

Ty Lawson Latest Tarheel To Suffer Cruel Fate Of Demon Liquor
Ty Lawson, the UNC point guard who may or may not enter the NBA draft this year, was pinched last night by Chapel Hill police officers for driving while intoxicated. According to police, "Lawson was stopped early Friday morning because of the loud music coming from the car and the smell of alcohol ...