w Page 5219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Thanks To ESPN, It'll Be Our Merriest Christmas Ever
This Christmas why not give the card that says "Not only am I cheap, but I have no sense of humor."? It's Holiday Smack Cards from ESPN; which can be sent to friends and loved ones, and hilarity is sure to ensue. That is, if your idea of humor is a toilet flushing. I can just picture some folks at P...
Look, Ugly Yankees Merchandise
So, you're about nine hours from Christmas, and you still haven't bought anything. You're screwed, pretty much. Shame, too; if you had thought ahead, you could have had some hideous New York Yankees gear....
Year In Review: October
You might remember, toward the end of last year, when we reviewed each month of the past year leading up to New Years Day. We called it, imaginatively, "Year In Review." We continue today with October. We're digging through our archives pretty well, but if you think we should definitely feature some...
Today's Episode: Isiah Has An Epiphany
Skeets is off celebrating Christmas Eve the way that all Canadians do; pantsless and migrating with a herd of elk. So your NBA Closer today is being written by United States Secretary of Housing and Urban Development Alphonso Jackson. Do enjoy....
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while perusing fake Craigslist ads... • 8:00 p.m. — Hawaii Bowl: East Carolina vs. Boise State. It's so inconvenient to have to bring your own blue paint on road trips, but it's worth it. [ESPN] • 8:15 p.m. — NFL: Redskins at Vikings. Or, a rematch of the colonization of Newfoundland. ...
West Virginians Should Get Out Of The Conspiracy Theory Business
There's been a wave of sympathy for Michigan in the past year, and I for one hoped they were going to find a good solid coach from the lower ranks to bring up, like Ohio State did with Jim Tressel. That didn't happen, and my sympathy swung to West Virginia for losing their fabled coach Rich Rodrigue...
Brigham Da Noise, Brigham Da Funk
We've been fortunate so far that most of the bowl games have given us actual watchable football. Sure, while many of the games are devoid of tradition ("New Mexico! It's ... culture!") but so what? The way the bowl system is set up, fans normally bludgeoned with story after story of Tim Tebow and Le...
Tony Romo Distracted By Watching Marion Barber Run Through Linebackers
I'm sure everyone involved in the Dallas Cowboys organization would love to get home to their families by Sol Invictus, but they all have some unfinished business even after beating the Carolina Panthers 20-13 last night....
Jessica Simpson Won't Be In Romo's Head, More Like Against It
It might seem a skosh ridiculous that Carolina Panthers fans are going balls out on this Jessica Simpson cutout distraction thingy tonight against Tony Romo and the Dallas Cowboys, considering that Terrell Owens has said repeatedly that Simpson really isn't a distraction to the team after all. So th...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch while finding alternate uses for your excess candy canes... • 5:00 p.m. — New Mexico Bowl: Nevada vs. New Mexico; 8:00 p.m. — Pioneer Las Vegas Bowl: BYU vs. UCLA. Wait, no non-sports-related sponsorship tie-in to the New Mexico Bowl? Not Interested. [ESPN] • 4:30 p.m. — College Basket...
Alex Legion Gets His Exodus After All
In our ongoing coverage of the dogmatic inevitability that Alex Legion will lead Kentucky to the Final Four, a tranquil atmosphere casts over the tumultuous world of college basketball....
Let's Take Off This Mask And See Who You REALLY Are
Congratulations to photographer Chris Detrick, who offers up a strong 11th hour entry into Most Disturbing Sports Photo Of The Year. The guy getting his eyes plucked out is BYU's Jonathan Tavernari. The poker is Jason Walberg. Oddly enough, there was no foul on this play, and Tavernari seems to have...
Kirk Radomski Is In Your Extended Network
This analysis of the names in the Mitchell Report? Yeah, we're not done with it yet. Slate compiled a nifty little web graph — an "interweb," if you will — of how the players heard about the butt-needling services of one Kirk Radomski. It's color coded and everything....
Not content with mastering just one method of legally beating the shit out of people in public, Floyd Mayweather might become a mixed martial arts fighter. Now, ESPN reported this story first, and yet I'm linking to an AP story. I know. It's not fair. Consider it a make-up call. [Associated Press]...
Florida Atlantic Is Used To Sticking It To Tennessee Schools
Knowing that Howard Schnellenberger built Florida Atlantic's football program using nothing but MacGyver-approved ingredients in a seven-year span, last night's victory over Memphis in the New Orleans Bowl is an extremely uplifting story. They really came out of nowhere to steal the title of Best Up...
They Don't Snowboard In Bikinis, So Ratings Suffer
• 12 noon — NCAA Basketball: Georgetown at Memphis [ESPN] • 1:00 p.m. — Papajohns.com Bowl: Southern Miss vs. Cincinnati [ESPN2] • 1:00 p.m. — Movie: Planes, Trains And Automobiles [Comedy] • 2:00 p.m. — NCAA Basketball: UCLA at Michigan [CBS] • 2:30 p.m. — Movie: Goodfellas [Spike] • 3:00 p.m. — NC...
Mustaches Amplify Sadness
When you see Stan Van Gundy all pissed off on the TV, you have to go through a lot of mental logic to remember which team he coaches right now. Miami? Yeah, they're bad so that would make sense, but ... wait, no. Houston? I think so... oh, wrong Van Gundy. Cleveland? Does he coach Cleveland? Well, n...
'Twas The Night Before December 22 ...
• Woody Paige's tough qualifications for the Hall of Fame. • Isiah introduces us to "sunt." • Elijah Dukes' December surprise. • Dolphins win! • The return of Lil Ronnie. • Michael Wilbon's tiny pals. • Paul LoDuca, dodger. • Scott Van Pelt, commencement speaker. • Jonathan Papelbon's dog rules. • H...