w Page 5293 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

About Last Night ...
What you missed while attending a wake for all of your old REM cassette tapes ... • NBA: A cut above ... Suns even series with Spurs 1-all. • MLB: Beckett! Red Sox 9, Blue Jays 2. • Tennis: Claymation ... Federer advances at Rome Masters....

Vernon Wells Loves Interacting With His Fans
By now, you might have heard about Vernon Wells signing a baseball for a fan who was heckling him. It's really one of our favorite stories in a while, because it shows a sense of humor from Wells — it was his idea — and it includes a Major League Baseball starting off signing a baseball with the wor...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch when you're feeling extra religious ... • NBA: Conference semifinals, New Jersey at Cleveland, Game 2; San Antonio at Phoenix, Game 2. Oh, come on and watch; sleep is overrated. [TNT] • MLB: Rangers at Yankees. Let's talk about Clemens some more! [YES Network] • ISKA kickboxing. Real m...

Floyd Mayweather, Preparing For Rain
After his loss to Floyd Mayweather on Saturday night, Oscar de la Hoya likely went home, drank some tea, filed some financial papers, played with his kid, maybe reviewed some business endeavors. Mayweather, on the other hand, did something else entirely....

It's Raining (Very Fat) Men
It happens every time we attend a game at Shea Stadium; inevitably a druken fat guy will topple onto us from the row above, causing us to break certain small bones. We don't even bother to sue anymore; we're used to it. But Ellen Massey, a Manhattan lawyer, is not so magnanimous. She's had enough....

David Wells Explains It All
Since Bud Selig has hidden himself in a secure, undisclosed location until after Bonds breaks the career home run record, The Quote Machine That Is David Wells is back in action. The Padres' pitcher has a few things to say about Roger Clemens' new contract with the Yankees, specifically the clause t...

Turn Your Head, Order A Beer And Cough
The Milwaukee Brewers continue to outclass the rest of the National League Central — particularly that sullen goop currently residing in last place — but they're not resting on their laurels and ignoring their diehards. The Brewers truly care about their fans' well-being and longterm health, and to ...

How Not To Ride In A Golf Cart
It's a beautiful day in New York City today, and though we don't golf, it does seem like a lovely afternoon to be on a golf course. Particularly for a ride in golf cart. Drunk. What could possibly go wrong?...

Wow, We Get Another One Of These Series, Apparently
So here's something no one could have expected: A second-round playoff series between Golden State and Utah that's destined to be thrilling, amazing to watch and go the full seven games. Utah won Game 1, but, as we watched the game early this morning while shaking off our Arcade Fire hangover, we we...

About Last Night ...
What you missed while trying to catch Ferris Bueller in the act ... • MLB: Division title brewing? Milwaukee 3, Washington 0. • NHL: Red Wings cause Sharks to go extinct, 2-0. • NBA: Second City ... Pistons clobber Bulls once again, 108-87....

Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Jazz Vs. Warriors
The second round continues with another new matchup tonight. It's certainly one few would have anticipated....

When Baseball Players Act Like They Want To Fight
In the wake of Roger Clemens' "Look at ME!" announcement yesterday, the fact that the Yankees and Mariners had a pseudo "lemme at 'em!" brawl was entirely lost. (Same thing with the Brewers-Prince Fielder skirmish.) But nothing beats a bench-clearing tussle, mainly because rarely are punches actuall...

Floyd Mayweather Gets His Frito Bandito On
Because of the bad people at Time Warner Cable in New York City, we were unable to order the Mayweather-De La Hoya fight Saturday night — the customer service guy, obviously beaten down by talking to countless frustrated customers like us, actually thanked us for not yelling at him — but from all ac...

Where The Hell Is Carl Monday?
Remember the old days, when the bus driver who drove you and your school friends to the ball game just masturbated with his hand? Now they're using mechanical devices and popping pills ... it's just like everything else in baseball; cheating is rampant. All the records are tainted....

Yet Another Way ESPN Makes You Gassy
You thought your life was caused enough pain every time you went to the gas station these days? (We still don't have a car, but it makes our heart ache every time we even look at a gas station anymore.) Well, it's about to grow far, far worse: Now, at certain gas stops, you're gonna have to hear rum...

Roger's Back In Town
What they're saying around the blogs on Roger Clemens signing with the Yankees ......

It's Important That You Remember That Roger Clemens Is Your Savior
Last week, Curt Schilling was accused of self-aggrandizing ego worship for supposedly painting blood on his sock, or whatever it was. Schilling's impassioned defense of his own heroism was both absolutely correct — the man has a right to defend himself against false claims — and completely fitting, ...

Put Your Hands Together For The Artist Currently Known As Prince
Notes on a day in baseball:...

To Watch Tonight...
• 8:00, ESPN. MLB. Phillies @ Giants. Cole Hamels vs. Tim Lincecum. • 9:00, ESPNU. SportsCenterU. 2007 NCAA Men's Lacrosse Selection Show. What lucky ESPN personality drew this plum assignment? • 9:00, NBC. Saturday Night Live in the '90s. Pop Culture Nation. Will Ferrell as Robert Goulet would make...

Roger To The Rescue; Clemens To Be A Yankee Again
With much credit to you crazy commenters, Roger Clemens announced today that he's returning to the Yankees. I wasn't watching the game, I have no idea what happened ... but The Sports Frog is all over it, and I'm just going to quote the Frog's garyclark:...