w Page 5294 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Crunch Time For The Warriors ... And Their Fans
Well, all right, kids, we think you probably agree with us when we say that if the Warriors can’t clinch their series against the Mavericks in that Thunderdome, they’re not likely to sneak out a Game 7 in Dallas. So tonight is, for all intents and purposes, the deciding game. And it’s the biggest ni...

Call This "A Warning Sign"
Because there's little more amusing than a crazed fan unleashed on YouTube, we introduce you to "Kitney2Furrey," a Tigers booster who has been posting pretty much every day during the season. We are so glad we didn't watch the World Series with this guy last year. Not only would we have been blinded...

Son, This Hurts Me More Than It Hurts You
Every new father has had the idea: If I can somehow start training him at birth, I can make my son into a world-class athlete. This tends not to work out well....

Boxing's Last Gasp
Finally, after putting it off for a couple of weeks, we sat down and watched all episodes of "De La Hoya/Mayweather 24/7" last night; enough people had told us we were required to take a look that we sucked it up. And we agree with Robert Weintraub from Slate: It is more fun than anything involving ...

Brady Quinn Is Making Friends
We're not sure what's going on with this photo, which appears to be of the newest Cleveland Brown Brady Quinn — sans more hair and gallons of pomade — and, frankly, we don't want to....

Jay Gibbons Has Amazing Aim On His Foul Balls
Could spousal abuse be a stepping stone to career advancement? Hey, ask Brett Myers. (Or Bobby Cox, for that matter.)...

Bay Area Calls Out Mr. Barkley
So Charles Barkley has been having a little fun at the Bay Area's expense during his TNT commentary on the Mavericks-Warriors series. Saying "Oakland sucks" on national television and wearing a Mavericks jersey, well, fine. While it's a bit like rooting for Margaret Dumont in a Marx Bros. film, we s...

Keeps The Hot Side Hot, The Cool Side Cool!
As if tennis weren't odd enough, we give you the half grass, half clay playing surface. On the right is Wimbledon champ Roger Federer, who is unbeaten in 48 matches on grass, and on the left is French Open champ Rafael Nadal, unbeaten in 72 matches on clay. In the middle is a confused referee, and o...

ESPN Trots Out The Barbaro Crazies Again
We have enjoyed, in this week of Barbaro remembrance, the new focus on the kind, not-at-all-unbalanced souls who worship at the altar of the great lost champion, the ones we've been following with somewhat concerned fascination over the last year. Without fail, every reporter who talks to the Dee Mi...

Yes, She Should Fit Right In With The Dawg Pound
Via ESPN's Draft Blog and Hardaway Hates Pittsburgh, we present the aunt of new Cleveland Browns offensive tackle Joe Thomas....

Keyshawn's Final Moments As A Panther
If you want to relieve the sublime comedy of Keyshawn Johnson's "excitement" after learning that the Carolina Panthers drafted his "buddy" Dwayne Jarrett — thus securing his release from the team — the video above has the complete footage. It was funny at the time, but it improves considerably knowi...

Five Minutes With Jeremy Hotz
Introducing Standing Room Only, a new feature in which Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler pulls a stand-up comedian off of the street, briefly interrogates him about sports in a dimly lit room, then sets him free. Today, it's Ottawa's own Jeremy Hotz....

Behold, The Power Of Beer
You scoffed when Brewers' fans predicted big things for their team this season. But then they rolled out the Mighty 12-Person Beer Bong, and, well, who's laughing now, bitches?...

What Should Happen To All People Who Wear White Levis
This is an old video, but we've never seen it before, which is odd, because we have every episode of Hard Copy on DVD. So a bully smacks around a few people and is feeling pretty good about himself, until an ex-boxer steps in and administers a little vigilante justice. So many things to hold our int...

This Is Also Why NBA Refs Drive Cabs In The Offseason
The big story this morning? A study by a couple of Ivy Leaguers "reveals" that white referees call disproportionately high number of foul calls on black players and, to a lesser extent, vice versa. We find it amusing, first off, that they found enough white players for the study....

Please Don't Let This Series Ever End
It is clear, at this point, that the Mavericks-Warriors series is hazardous to the health of anyone happening to be watching at home. What a travesty that these beautiful, crazed, maddening games are ending so late; it's impossible to watch this series and not think the NBA might be the most league ...

Golden State's Chance To Make History (And Probably Kill Cuban)
Imagine the ramifications if, perchance, the Warriors eliminate the Mavericks tonight. First off, poor Dirk Nowitzki might never show his face in public again, or at least not around his coach. We'll have proof that the Warriors sold their souls to the devil. And Don Nelson will have his final, brut...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as Victor Conte makes his cheerful evening delivery ... • NBA: Playoffs, first round, New Jersey at Toronto, Game 5; Golden State at Dallas, Game 5. Charles Barkley says take the Mavs and give the points. [TNT] • NHL: Playoffs, Eastern Conference semifinals, Buffalo at New York Rangers...

Children Are Here Merely For Our Amusement
Tired of the sluggish, plodding nature of regular sumo wrestling? Worry not! Now you can combine all the fun of regular sumo wrestling with the nimble, lithe movements of newborn babies!...

In The '90s, They'd Make A Poster Of Anything
A reader on vacation in Sanibel Island, Fla., stumbled into a sports bar where the above poster was prominently displayed....