w Page 5304 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Time To Open The Big Can Of Monkey Whupass
Thankfully, late-night monkey zoo abductions have been virtually stamped out here in the U.S. But in Great Britain, where they are common, monkeys must be ever vigilant. Still smarting from the owl fiasco at the Moscow Zoo, the same gang of thugs apparently decided on a monkey heist for their next c...

Sweet 16 Pants Party: Florida Vs. Butler
Florida Gators (31-5) vs. Butler Bulldogs (29-6) When: 7:10 p.m. ET Where: St. Louis...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you replace your Duke slippers with North Carolina slippers ... • Arena Football: Colorado at Philadelphia. We saw a possession once where no one scored. [ESPN2] • College basketball: NCAA Division I tournament, South Regional and West Regional semifinals. We would have died at the ...

Sweet 16 Pants Party: Kansas Vs. Southern Illinois
Kansas Jayhawks (32-4) vs. Southern Illinois Salukis (29-6) When: 7:10 p.m. ET Where: San Jose...

Sweet 16 Pants Party: Ohio State Vs. Tennessee
Ohio State Buckeyes (31-3) vs. Tennessee Volunteers (24-10) When: 9:57 p.m. ET Where: San Antonio...

Lexington's Long National Nightmare Now Over
This just in: We'll try not to go all Politico / John Edwards on you here — for the record, we love that site, occasional big error aside — but we've received word from a TV station in Louisville and from another source that Kentucky fans desperate to rid themselves of Tubby Smith have had their wis...

Hoot, There It Is
Look, you may say this has nothing to do with sports, but we don't care. Sometimes a story transcends compartmentalization ... You do not come into the owl's house talkin' trash!...

Sweet 16 Pants Party: UCLA Vs. Pittsburgh
UCLA Bruins (27-5) vs. Pittsburgh Panthers (29-6) When: 9:40 p.m. ET Where: San Jose...

Baseball Season Preview: Florida Marlins
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....

Introducing Tony Dungy's Least Favorite Sports Mascot
If the March Gayness blog pool at the Malcontent needs a costumed mascot, well, Flamy is available at very reasonable rates. Come to think of it, if he has the time, he could also be a fine representative of Manny Ramirez's grill-hawking efforts, or the next phallic-shaped object for golf's Christie...

Sweet 16 Pants Party: Memphis Vs. Texas A&M
Memphis Tigers (32-3) vs. Texas A&M Aggies (27-6). When: Tonight, 7:27 p.m. Where: San Antonio...

By The Time You Read This, Steve Alford May Already Be A Lobo
So to recap, Bobby Knight now in Lubbock, Steve Alford in Albuquerque. We all new that Knight was "going to the hot place," one day, but Alford? ESPN is reporting (and we know how that can turn out) that Alford is leaving Iowa and will become New Mexico's new head basketball coach, possibly by Frida...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your NCAA Tourney office pool brackets do the only decent thing and commit suicide ... • College basketball: MasterCard National Invitation Tournament, quarterfinals, Syracuse at Clemson; DePaul at Air Force. A Jedi's power flows from The Force. [ESPN2] • NBA: Dallas at Cleveland. I...

Cool Guys, Hanging With The Cool Guys From The Band
Well, if you're going to pick two random athletes who would show up at a Nickelback concert, it's tough to say we're surprised it would be these two....

Baseball Season Preview: Oakland A's
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....

Land Of The Giants
One would think that a team with four seven-footers in the starting lineup wouldn't need a last-second shot to win. But this is the American Basketball Association, where the official rules more resemble Calvinball than anything. Why didn't someone inform us earlier that, in their finale against the...

Ozzie Guillen Is Back, And Man, He's The Best
You know baseball is almost upon us when Ozzie Guillen is saying crazy things again....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch after you get bored admiring your whale ... • College basketball: MasterCard National Invitation Tournament, quarterfinals, Florida State at Mississippi State; North Carolina State at West Virginia. They have to take you Kent, you're a legacy. [ESPN] • College women's basketball: NCAA ...

Come Out To The Ballpark ... And Die!
Talking your family to the ballpark can be a dangerous proposition. You could be hammered by a line drive. Lightning could strike the night you're honoring a great journalist. Milton Bradley could start pummeling you, just because it's a Tuesday....

Baseball Season Preview: Houston Astros
You might remember, from back at the beginning of the NFL season, when we previewed each team by having a writer we liked write about their favorite team....