w Page 5324 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Chandler: In Which I Am Determined To Make Tom Brady The Next Great Basketball Star
Deadspin associate editor Rick Chandler made a rather surprising confession to us the other day, and we demanded he write about it. So he now has the floor....

Sportswriters Are So Goddamned Cool
Our friends at Gelf Magazine point out the newest trend in newspaper sports columnists column photos: The full body shot!...

Mark Shapiro's Reign Of Destruction Officially Over
It's a sad anniversary tomorrow, totally; January 17 marks the one-year anniversary of the cancellation of "ESPN Hollywood." The show lasted almost six months, and hoo, what a six months they were!...

Tom Brady, Still Clockin' Hos
Legitimate question: How the hell do NFL players have time to meet girls during the season? Particularly the quarterbacks. The reason we never believed that Tony Romo was dating Jessica Simpson was not because we didn't think he had a chance with her; after all, he is able to walk upright. It was be...

NBA Roundup: Are You Not Entertained?
Notes on Monday's games in the National Basketball Association ......

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you relunctantly put your pants back on ... • College basketball: Marquette at Louisville; Missouri at Kansas; Gonzaga at Saint Mary's. Omar Samhan will smash you, and we mean it. Anybody want a peanut? [ESPN] • NBA: Phoenix at Memphis; Miami at Los Angeles Lakers. Wait ... TNT Mond...

NOT What Jesus Had In Mind
When your dad's a former professional hockey goon, your childhood can pretty much be summed up in three words: Fun, fun, fun. Clint Butler was the bantam A team youth hockey coach for a boys 13- and 14-year-old team in Montreal. Let's get right to the action....

Student Reporter Gets First Boring McGwire Quotes
So everybody wants to hear from Mark McGwire, the slugger-in-exile. What does he think about the Hall of Fame voting? Did he ever do steroids? What was the deal with appearing on "Mad About You?" No one has been able to get him to come out of hiding ... except for abused children, anyway. McGwire sh...

The Eye Of The Crazy Frizzy-Haired Saint
As if Eagles fans hadn't suffered enough after their loss to the Saints on Saturday — we think they're taking it hard, too; we still haven't talked to Daulerio — there's this video, which features a rather inspired Saints fan taking it to Eagles boosters outside the Superdome. Mocking them openly is...

Buzzsaw Hires The Whiz
Despite initial rumors that had them hiring (ugh) Mike Sherman, Our Buzzsaw That Is The Arizona Cardinals have hired Steelers offensive coordinator Ken Whisenhunt to be their new head coach. The Buzzsaw players can barely contain their excitement....

New Orleans Once Step Closer To Healing. Really.
In case you're confused by the smattering of women in this photo, the one that's crinkled, not sparkly and wearing pants is Louisiana governor Kathleen Blanco. She's shown here hanging out with the Saints cheerleaders after their thrilling 27-24 win over the Eagles on Saturday, leaving them one game...

Bears Exist Despite The Wretched, Incompetent, Vapid Mess That Is Rex Grossman
Now listen: We know and understand how inconsistent Bears quarterback Rex Grossman has been there year. Anyone who had him in fantasy football understand that. But the guy is not Kyle Orton (mostly); you could even have made an argument for him (and Brett Favre) as the third Pro Bowl quarterback aft...

Goodnight, Marty: Don't Let The Door Hit You
We're not sure what more one can say about Chargers coach Marty Schottenheimer. We do have a suggestion though: Maybe it's time to start wearing that headset like every other coach. That way, perhaps you won't end up challenging calls that obviously aren't going to be overturned, costing you a timeo...

NFL Playoffs: Patriots vs. Chargers Open Thread
It's been the most hyped of the divisional round of playoff games, which means it probably doesn't have a chance to live up to the standards of drama set by the previous three games. That just seems to be the way these things go....

To Watch Tonight...
• College Football. Hula Bowl. Sort of like the Pro Bowl, but less exciting. 8:30, ESPN. • Golf. Sony Open in Hawaii, Final Round. That 16-year-old Fujikawa cat was at -7, tied for 8th heading into today. 7:00, Golf Channel. • College Basketball. Admire the handsome golden locks of Chase Budinger. O...

And Michael Strahan Got... JACKED UP!
The offensive linemen who line up against Michael Strahan on Sundays just got a whole lot of new ammunition for trash tralk. And Strahan can't run from it, either, because he's going to have to play football for a loooong time. He can't afford not to....

Seahawks vs. Bears, 4th Quarter/Overtime
- Chicago looks to take the lead here, with their golden gift from the Seattle field goal block unit. 3rd and goal from the 10. Grossman throws, it's of Muhammad's hands... and it's intercepted by a guy who denied my loan application two weeks ago. Big turn of events there....

Seahawks vs. Bears, 3rd Quarter
- Seattle comes out and gets a field goal to start the second half... credit Chicago's defense there for coming up with a stop when they had to. I like the way this game's shaping up....

Seahawks vs. Bears, 2nd Quarter
- And Nate Burleson's going to stretch the ball into the endzone on the first play on the second quarter, evening things up for the Seahawks. A couple of near-interceptions aside, these two offenses have both looked fairly competent. Hasselbeck looked like the Hasselbeck of last year on that drive. ...

Seahawks vs. Bears, 1st Quarter
- Joe Buck and Troy Aikman will be holding your hand and walking you through this one on FOX... I actually haven't heard a lot of Joe Buck this year, so this is a special treat for me....