w Page 5360 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Willie Roaf Opts For Retirement
If you're an undergrad sociology student at UC-Irvine, you're about to get a big-ass classmate. Chiefs tackle Willie Roaf announced his retirement yesterday, as well as his intentions of going back to school to get the sociology degree he didn't finish at Louisiana Tech....

Week In Deadspin: Let's Hug It Out ... Well, Perhaps A Hug Isn't The Best Idea
• It turned out not to be the best of weeks for Harold Reynolds. • Hee hee. Jockeys running. Hee hee. • Floyd Landis has had a busy seven-day stretch. • We're dangerously close, folks, to "You're With Me, Leather" night at the ole ballpark. • AJ Hawk and his contractually convenient morals. • It's...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as the Internet closes for the day (will reopen at 9 a.m. Saturday) ... • Boxing: Heavyweights, Sultan Ibragimov vs. Ray Austin, at Hollywood, Fla. With a name like Sultan Ibragimov, it's a good thing he isn't an accountant. [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Mets at Atlanta. Little known fact: B...

Unhappy To Be Stuck With You
We've all known that our main man Chris Berman — who was such a joy to watch broadcasting the Cardinals-Cubs game last night! — has had a lifelong pants party with Huey Lewis And The News. (We think they show the footage of him on stage with the band at least twice a year.) But we had no idea just h...

Welcome, Chorizo!
Yesterday, the chorizo was officially announced as the fifth racing sausage in the Milwaukee Brewers sausage race. They had a special press conference just to introduce him, with his first race this Saturday. He has a little goatee. He is a dancing chorizo....

Bedtime Stories With Alex Rodriguez
You might think you know Yankees third baseman/perpetual ESPN target Alex Rodriguez, but you don't know him at all. Only through his illustrated children book can you possibly being to understand him....

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you hope your midterm grades will really help your average ... • LPGA: Evian Masters, second round, at Evian-les-Bains, France. High in the Alps, no one can hear you scream. [The Golf Channel] • MLB: St. Louis at Chicago. "He can't hit he can't hit he can't hit suwinng, batter." [ES...

It's Not Easy For Canadians To Win Golf Clubs
So here's something funny and obscure that a reader just pointed out to us. This week, Sports Illustrated subscribers — like ourselves — were treated to a special promotion with Callaway Golf. Basically, you send in a contest card, and if you win, you get a X460 Driver and two X Fairway Woods. We ...

As If Barbaro (And The Rest Of Us) Haven't Suffered Enough
In New York City today, it is sunny, pleasant, warm, slightly overcast but mostly cheerful. We've got some good music on the stereo, a cool icy beverage at our desk and, overall, we're feeling all right about the planet and our place in it....

Cycling, Swimming And Running, Oh My!
You know, it's hard enough to finish a triathlon. We think we could handle the biking, and as long as we were allowed to occasionally walk, or even stop and lie down for a while, we could handle the running. We'd almost certainly drown, however. Anyway, imagine going through all the trouble of bei...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you steadfastly avoid the Outback Steakhouse... • Boxing: Cruiserweights, Eliseo Castillo vs. Jonathan Banks, at New York. At what point does your son say "Dad, when I grow up I want to be a cruiserweight?" [ESPN2] • MLB: New York Yankees at Texas. Just for a change of pace, Yankees...

OK, Maybe Everyone Should Boo Dusty
OK, we understand that he had thrown a lot of pitches, and that he had walked five guys, and that the score was 0-0 and that he has been injured enough to need to be coddled a bit....

Daniel Snyder Appreciates Your Checkbook
We have always found the notion of Fan Appreciation Days amusing. Even though every single salary of every single player in every single sport is paid for exclusively by fans — whether it be tickets, merchandise, cable bills, whatever — big-time sports still feel the need to acknowledge the fans o...

Also, They Make Their Tamales Way Too Hot
It takes a special kind of person to come into a verbal confrontation with White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen and come out looking like the more unreasonable one ... but if anyone can do it, it's Andy Van Slyke....

Harold Reynolds' Firing: The Smaller Picture
Lost in all of the hubbub over Harold Reynolds being dismissed at ESPN is the fact that he won't be in the broadcast booth for the Little League World Series, breaking a nine-year string. It seems especially cruel to cut Reynolds loose on the eve of the biggest event for pint-sized athletes in the...

AJ Hawk Is A Moral Man
As a followup to our AJ Hawk/Laura Quinn/shotgun wedding post from yesterday, we look to the Dayton Daily News, which gives us the full report on why AJ Hawk, rather than go through with the planned wedding in March, got married in his lawyer's office while wearing his Under Armour gear. (Seriousl...

Welcome, All Chorizos!
If you want to know why we love doing this site more than we've loved doing just about anything else in our lives, here's a good reason: We get to treat the addition of a new racing sausage in Milwaukee has one of the biggest stories of the day. Because IT IS!...

To Watch Tonight
What to watch as you accidentally press the button on the signal watch again, summoning a pissed-off Batman Superman ... • MLB: Chicago Cubs at New York Mets. Mr. Met needs fresh meat. (We'll be at this game, by the way.) [WGN] • WNBA: Washington at Connecticut; Seattle at Phoenix. Well of course yo...

Visiting The Scene Of His Namesake's "Crime"
What do you do when your real name is Mike Cooper — but you're not that Mike Cooper — and you've found your MySpace page inexplicably inundated over the last month or so?...

A Look At The Sunday NBC Crew
Earlier today, new NBC broadcaster — it feels weird to type that; we haven't quite adjusted to the NFL being back on NBC — John Madden went to visit Oakland Raiders camp and hang out with his former player Art Shell, the new coach (again) of the Raiders. Since it's a slow, non-sexual-harassing day...