wake-up-deadspin Page 15 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

There Was A Poignant, Action Figure-Only Funeral For The Macho Man In A Backyard This Weekend
Your morning roundup for May 23, the day Beyoncé ran the world. Staged Macho Man funeral via HuggingHaroldReynolds.com....

Watch ESPN's Doris Burke Flub Her Lines About Oklahoma City Arena
Your morning roundup for May 22, the day some people in North Carolina started taking Pirates of the Caribbean too literally, but not in a cool swashbuckling way or anything....

Giants Fans, Don't Insult The Butt Of Your Best Homegrown Player Since Marvin Benard
Your morning roundup for May 21, the day we robbed the Knights of Columbus and a tattoo parlor. H/T E. Gunther for the screencap....

Putting A Drunk Phillies/Flyers Fan On Live TV? Bad Decision, Guy In A Windowless Production Van
Your morning roundup for May 20, the day Kirsten Dunst was (politely) shocked and appalled. H/T Ryan Boone for the vid....

Clemson, Davidson Up The Rain-Delay-Antics Ante With Human Bowling, Wartime Re-Enactment, And Curling
Your morning roundup for May 19, the day Stanley the adult baby entered the nation's political dialogue, and not a moment too soon. Video via College Baseball Daily....

Most Pitchers Would Not React The Way Indians Closer Did After Allowing Inconsequential Run
Your morning roundup for May 18, the day your bros realized they shouldn't have done that, man. Above: Chris Perez makes his case to be the real-life Kenny Powers. Video via The Dugout Sports Show....

Cam Newton Is Still Gene Chizik's Golden Calf
Your morning roundup for May 17, the day the greatest two-sport athlete you've probably never heard of turns 99. (Photo by random Auburn student, via SportsFeeder. Full photo here.)...

This Is The Only Woman In The World Who Knows What It's Like To Get Caught Between Two Tim Tebows In Her Underwear
Your morning roundup for May 16, the day that Hickey got his edits from Lady Gaga. Tebow photo via @Lisa_Altobelli, who has the full shot....

Watch People Cheer For A Suicidal Turtle At The Players Championship
Your morning roundup for May 15, the day Lazy Cakes, Kush Cakes and Lulla Pies start becoming Public Enemy Nos. 1-3....

The Grizzlies Were Prince To The Thunder's Morris Day Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 14, the day after a homeless Bulgarian man beheaded an elderly British woman in a Spanish supermarket, walked away "clutching the head by its hair, leaving a trail of blood dripping to the ground," but got caught after an Italian motorcyclist threw a helmet at his face....

Skip Bayless Is Ready To Throw Down With Michael Vick Over LeBron James
Your morning roundup for May 13, the day we wondered why our census form asked for penis size. Video via Sportsfeeder....

Here's Video Of LeBron James And Delonte West Sharing A Brief But Loving Embrace Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 12, the day old coot Yogi Berra will come up with something witty to say about turning 82, even though he's only 81....

It Was Wrestling Mask Night In Anaheim
Your morning roundup for May 11, the day the pre-prom body cavity searches were called off....

Landon Donovan Is "A (Genitalia)head," And Other Things Of Note
Your morning roundup for May 10, the day the gays were good enough for the Navy but not good enough for Uptown Sports Athlete Representation....

Phil Jackson Agrees That His Career Has Been The "Bee's Knees"
Your morning roundup for May 9, the day we learned of the Village tree thief....

The Pacquiao/Mosley Fight Ended Up Being NASCAR's Undercard Last Night
Your morning roundup for May 8, the day we watched the world's terroristic boogeyman watching himself and channel surfing like an Ritalin-addled preteen whose parents won't spring for a DVR....

By The Looks Of Things, The Texas Rangers Mascot Is Hung Like The Palomino Horse It Purports To Be
Your morning roundup for May 7, the first Saturday after the gays seized control of Atlantic City....

Wild Australian Horse Decides To Run Away From A Steeplechase Course And Over The Crowd
Your morning roundup for May 6, the day Willie Mays becomes an octogenarian....

Presenting The 18-Minute Video Of Shin-Soo Choo's Failed Roadside Sobriety Test
Your morning roundup for May 5, the day a former vice president wants you to thank "enhanced interrogation" for the current president's visit to Ground Zero....

Danny Ainge Is Horrified By What He Sees
Your morning roundup for May 4, the day we again discovered Xanadu in Jersey....