war Page 148 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Warriors Top Grizz, 119 To—Wait, I'm Pretty Sure This Is A Video Game Score
There’s been a terrible mistake. The AP, ESPN, even the NBA itself—they’re all recording the final score of last night’s Warriors-Grizzlies game as a 119-69 win for the Warriors, but clearly that is the score of some kid’s video game. I mean, ha ha, 119-69, get the fuck outta here, who would even be...
Reggie Bush Is The Latest Victim Of The Rams' Concrete Ring Of Death
The 49ers believe Reggie Bush’s injury, suffered yesterday against the Rams, is a torn ACL, a season-ender. It’s a particularly frustrating one for Bush, who’s had trouble staying healthy throughout his career, because it had basically nothing to do with football. Bush was just the latest victim of ...
Steph Curry Is Even Better This Season
Last night, basketball’s best teeny-tiny point guard Steph Curry went up against the sexy pick to usurp him as league MVP, Anthony Davis, and put in the most impressive performance of this young season. He dropped 53 points on just 27 shots in 36 minutes, which is a gaudy efficiency, but remarkably,...
Harrison Barnes Dunks On Dwight Howard, Everyone Freaks Out
Harrison Barnes has a habit of pummeling centers on big dunks like this one here. He laid down a real hammer over Nikola Pekovic of all people a few years ago, and is generally fearless about challenging big guys in the paint. Our latest victim is Dwight Howard, who got caught in that unenviable no-...
Movies Should Come Out Sooner
If you’ve been on the internet this week, you’ve probably seen some fresh headlines about the new Suicide Squad movie. That’s because Empire magazine has an exclusive spread of photos in its latest issue, and that means it’s time for everyone to get hyped about Harley Quinn’s eye makeup and whatnot....
The NFL Fined Two Players For Honoring Their Dead Mothers
The NFL has fined a player for a really stupid reason. Well, we have to be more specific than that: The NFL has fined a player for publicly supporting a good cause that the league also unequivocally supports. Okay, that still doesn’t narrow it down enough: The NFL has fined Steelers defensive back W...
Important Steph Curry Update: He's Still Extremely Good
Hey, you, person who was up way too late watching the World Series and totally missed out on the Golden State Warriors’ season opener against the New Orleans Pelicans. You missed some good shit, buddy. Click play on the video above and look at all the good shit you missed....
London Mayor Takes Break From Harming Kids In Sports, Eats It In Tug-Of-War
Boris Johnson, mayor of London, infamous child injurer, and all-around galoot, finally decided to pick on some lads his own size when he took on members of the UK’s armed forces in a tug-of-war match. Like his other spells with athletics, it too ended in embarrassment, only this time he was the only...
<i>Return Of The Jedi</i> Was Great, You Ewok-Slandering Fools
Earlier this week, the new Star Wars: The Force Awakens trailer came out, and our own Albert Burneko took a moment to express a bit of perfectly warranted skepticism about its prospects. HOWEVER, Bert’s post was essentially a Trojan Horse for a lengthy revisionist diatribe on Return of the Jedi. ...
Here's What Happened Last Time Chris Rock Hosted The Oscars
Chris Rock will host the 2016 Oscars, which gives us hope for a brighter, less boring award-show future. The last time he was on duty was 2005, and he did a pretty bang-up job. He was also much meaner than you probably remember....
What The Hell Was Kyle Schwarber Doing In Left Field?
Kyle Schwarber wasn’t the reason the Cubs lost Game 4. ...
The NFL Gets Its Way On Cameron Heyward's Cancer-Awareness Eye Black
Cameron Heyward and the NFL have reached an agreement on his customized eye black: the Steelers defensive end will stop wearing “IRON HEAD” under his cheeks, and the league will make his two weeks of fines “significantly less,” according to ESPN. In other words, the league won....
What If The New <i>Star Wars </i>Sucks, Too?
Last night, the third trailer for the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens premiered on YouTube and ESPN. Did you shit your dick? I definitely shat my dick. I think the dick-shittingest moment, for me, was when the new Darth Vader guy was doing the Force to the other guy’s brain, but the low-altitu...
Cam Heyward Challenges The NFL On His Cancer-Awareness Eye Black
Cameron Heyward will appeal the NFL’s fine for wearing a personal message on his eye black, and clarified his intentions for making the statement: the Steelers DE said the gesture wasn’t just for his late father, Craig “Ironhead” Heyward, who died of brain cancer, but for everyone....
Frank Caliendo Breaks Down The <i>Star Wars</i> Trailer As ESPN Personalities
This is the kind of Star Wars/ESPN cross promotion that Disney is going to spend the next few months driving you insane with, but you can’t deny that Frank Caliendo is very good at what he does. ...
The New Trailer For <i>Star Wars: The Force Awakens</i> Is Here For You To Watch
Disney interrupted your Monday Night Football halftime show on ESPN to air this new trailer for the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens movie. They ran ads for the ad, and now the ad is finally here. Enjoy this ad, especially considering that its existence reduced your exposure to Chris Berman....
Cameron Heyward Wears Eye Black Honoring His Late Father Again, Faces Bigger NFL Fine
Last week, the NFL fined Steelers defensive end Cameron Heyward $5,787 for wearing eye black honoring his father Craig “Ironhead” Heyward, who died of brain cancer in 2006. Heyward wore the same eye black in yesterday’s game against the Cardinals, and the league will likely fine him more this time....
How'd That Work Out For You, Desmond?
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Kyle Schwarber Was Once A High School Show Choir Stud
Cubs rookie Kyle Schwarber is now best known as the guy who mashed a tater onto the top of the Wrigley Field video board, but socking prodigious dingers isn’t his only skill. Back when Schwarber was a student at Middletown High in Ohio, he was a key member of the school’s award-winning show choir....