war Page 208 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Five Offensively Stupid Reactions To Mark McGwire's Steroid Admission
Would the following people kindly shut the hell up about Mark McGwire?...

Kurt Warner, The Great Unknowable Freak Of The NFL
Explaining their aversion to the epic, ridiculous Cardinals-Packers game Sunday, Free Darko wrote: "Warner scores don't move me. I know what he's thinking." I do not understand this. I have no idea what Warner's ever thinking. It scares me....

Everybody Loves Kurt Warner...Except One Former California Pizza Kitchen Employee
Kurt Warner just can't stop winning over NFL fans with his sage quarterbacking and stock boy humbleness, so even if he doesn't make it to Canton we can all agree he's an exceptional human being, right? Behold a dissenter....

Sixers Have Something For Everyone, Except Basketball Fans
Philly hired a VH1 reality show host to give lonely fans dating advice, and next week sees a postgame concert from noted NBA player favorite Matisyahu. The Iverson sideshow's not moving as many tickets as hoped, methinks. [NBA/NBA]...

They're Just Mining Your Childhood For Ideas Now
LeBron and Dwight Howard have teamed up to film an update of the landmark McDonald's HORSE commercial. Spoiler: the game ends when Howard is unable to hit a free throw five times in a row....

The 2009 Oakland Raiders: A Season Of Failure
The Oakland Raiders were once a proud, victorious franchise, but despite zero ownership changes in over 30 years they become an organization synonymous with "ineptitude." The 2009 campaign didn't reverse this spectacular descent....

The 2009 Cleveland Browns: A Season Of Failure
The Cleveland Browns are not the worst team in the NFL. Yet, front office chaos, locker room drama, and a lot of lousy football have made them exemplars of what it means to be a terrible sports franchise....

Video From LeBron James's 25th Birthday Party
HEAR the young superstar swear at the DJ to turn the music back on! WATCH as he displays dancing prowess that would make Joakim Noah's head explode! OBSERVE his Kirby Puckett-shaped bodyguard shadow his every groove-busting move!...

Pam Ward Is Frustrated With This Damn Injured Marshall Player
"Get him off the field, please..." she mutters. Then "Come on!" Pam Ward, ladies and gentleman. Don't let the sweet smile fool ya. She's all business. [YouTube]...

Dwight Howard's Baby Mama Has No Right To Be Proud Of Her Son
Howard is suing the mother of his child for violating their parenting agreement by posting photos of their 2-year-old on her Twitter. This sets a disturbing precedent for any future custody battle over Chris Cooley's penis. [Orlando Sentinel]...

'Tis The Season To Call Out Your Quarterback
Sunday saw two stars publicly questioning their respective QBs. Now, with a few news cycles to think about it, Hines Ward is sorry. Brian Urlacher, not so much....

BYU-Utah: A "Burning Cauldron Of Loathing"
You recall the anti-Utah slam poem delivered by BYU quarterback Max Hall on Saturday. Now comes this photo of Jamie Whittingham, wife of Utah coach Kyle Whittingham, snapped just moments before she took a BYU fan's elbow to the grill....

Last Night's Winner: Guys Who Like Playing Time
In sports, everyone is a winner—some people just win better than others. Like the six Golden State Warriors, who beat Dallas with no help from their teammates or head coach. Sort of like a regular Warriors game....

Put Away Your Calculators. Joe Mauer Is MVP
Indignant nerds may stand down. Your numerically eviscerating PowerPoint presentation about Derek Jeter's faults is both lovely and precise, but will not be needed this year. (Only an idiotic first-place vote for Miguel Cabrera kept it from being unanimous.) [MPR]...

Tim Lincecum Is High, Young Winner Again
The San Francisco Giants goofy-headed pitcher of countless "Dazed and Confused" jokes has won his second straight Cy Young award. Take that, Nancy Reagan. (Counterpoint from this morning.) [SFGate]...

Two Of Three Tennessee Robbers Kicked Off Team
Nu'Keese Richardson and Mike Edwards have been "permanently dismissed" from Tennessee's football team after being arrested for armed robbery last week. (No decision on teammate Janzen Jackson.) So that's the quickest way to squander a football scholarship. [GoVolsXtra]...

This Guy Is Trying To Steal John Daly's Bit
And no, I'm not referring to Udorn Duangdecha getting his stomach stapled and surviving solely on Diet Coke and cigarettes - check out those slacks. Crap, they're so loud that Marlee Matlin heard him trying them on. [Devil Ball Golf]...

A Grim Look At Tim Tebow's Future?
Buried in a flimsy trend story about the, er....resurrection of "John 3:16" madness (courtesy of YouKnowWho, natch) is a more fascinating nugget about the true originator of the craze—who is serving three life terms in a California prison....

Derek Jeter Has Really Let Himself Go Since...Last Wednesday
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Tennessee Football Players Commit Armed Robbery While Wearing Tennessee Clothing
Three members of Lane Kiffin's much-hyped freshman class were arrested early this morning after robbing someone at a convenience store....in the middle of the Tennessee campus....while wearing Tennessee-branded football clothing. What's the opposite of a perfect crime?...