war Page 219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Whitlock's Most Incisive Column Yet
Fox Sports has discovered a revolutionary new way to censor Jason Whitlock columns: Just leave out the words! (ESPN: Hey, you can do that??). Besides, you know Whitlock; you're familiar with the kind of thing he's going to say on any given issue. So are words even necessary? A headline should really...

The Ultimate Warrior Edition
The NBA Closer is written by Matt McHale, who thinks there's something morbidly fascinating about a guy who looks like he walked out of a Boris Vellejo painting and is also clinically insane....

Eric Byrnes Can Tolerate Men Staring At His Junk
We haven't heard much from Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes in the offseason, but we can only guarantee it was something EXTREME AND WHOLLY UNPREDICTABLE! ZIGGITY SWISH! He's back this year, and his Diamondbacks were among the first to be drug tested. Byrnes is absolutely comfortable with the pro...

Jon Stewart Still Won't Use His Hands
Long before he was hosting the Oscars or beating up Conan O'Brien, Jon Stewart was a Whirling Dervish on the soccer field for William & Mary....

Brent Petway Wants To Take Down Dwight Howard
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm has all of our NBA Development League coverage. Today, he talked to Brent Petway, former Michigan Wolverine and champion of the D-League's dunk contest, about how he wants to challenge Dwight Howard....

Acorns In The Digestive Tract
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Dr. Lawyer Indian Chief....

Attention Terrell Owens: Help Is On The Way
So a guy in Brazil, not content with the normal tattoo options in his area, has had octopus suction cups grafted onto his arms. Cool! My guess is that Belichick has already made this required surgery for all of his receivers; and Derek Jeter is looking into it as well. Whereas Ichiro Suzuki just lo...

Dwight Howard Saves Your Dunk Contest
Finally the right man wins the dunk contest. This is what happens when you don't allow Michael Jordan to be a judge, even if Darryl Dawkins is perhaps his equal in hateration. Howard stole the show in what many are saying was one of the best dunk contests ever, if at least in recent memory....

Poofy-Haired Gnome Takes Kevin Hart to Task
Diminutive, exploiter of dying old men-novelist and Detroit Free Press "columnist" Mitch Albom jumped up on a stack of a phone books in order to impart some moral judgment about sad recruitment faker Kevin Hart. Albom, pumped full of rock star ego thanks to Oprah Winfrey's fanbase embracing him like...

Braylon Edwards Honors Sean Taylor His Own Way
Today the NFL season officially ends with the annual Pro Bowl game in Honolulu. Its a day filled with Gonzo Friday-esque wardrobes, leis, coconuts, and, in this year's, hearfelt Sean Taylor tributes. Redskins reps Chris Cooley, Ethan Albright, and Chris Samuels will all be wearing Taylor's number 21...

The Ultimate Warrior Likes All But One Of Heath Ledger's Movies
If you're like me, your social and political outlook is heavily influenced by blogs written by former pro wrestlers. You may or may not remember The Ultimate Warrior (aka Brian James Hellwig), who retired from the WWF in 1997 after a contract dispute. To let you know what kind of guy we're dealing w...

Jim Calhoun Has A Knack For Agate Type
Jonah Keri writes the college basketball closer (more or less) daily. E-mail your questions, comments or Clarence Ceasar-related memories to [email protected]....

Warren Sapp's Worst Thing In The World
Remember when Warren Sapp was relevant? OK, we don't remember that either. Anyway, the guy has finally retired, flipping out in his next to last game, just for good measure. What was the tipping point of his rage? Why, gay porn, of course!...

Golden State Of Awesome
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or mastering "Vasoline" in Rock Band, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast....

Dirk Exorcizes Some Demons
The NBA Closer is written by our Canadian weekend maestro J.E. Skeets. When he's not busy scouring the box scores or wearing skinny ties, he can be heard on The Basketball Jones daily podcast. Enjoy....

Brian Billick's Last Days
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....


Herman Edwards' Coors Light Commercial
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....

Who's Sorry Now? Herm Edwards Edition
Kansas City Chiefs head coach Herm Edwards, we salute you. Not only did you basically tell your fans to go #### themselves after they complained about the Chiefs' losing record, but then you were forced to sloppily apologize; essentially humbling yourself before fat guys who wear bags over their hea...

It's Close To Midnight And Hichori Morimoto Is Lurking In The Dark
Here is Hichori Morimoto of the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters accepting his Japanese Pacific League Golden Glove award. (Umm... back row, second from the left.) Just a word from the wise, Morimoto: Maybe stick to the performance art stilts and Martian or Conehead costumes. They're much less racisty,...