war Page 219 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
New England Patriots Are The Saviors Of Alefgard
And there it is. The New England Patriots collected the Stones of Sunlight, the Staff of Rain, and the Token of Erdrick. Tom Brady will promptly whisk Princess Gwaelin away to a bed and breakfast somewhere south of Cantlin. Meanwhile, Bill Belichick will now reproduce a set of Erdrick weapons and ar...
Oh, Those New York Knickerbockers
Sadly, we haven't had the joy yet of watching the Knicks play — they open in Cleveland on Friday — but that doesn't mean we can't relive the glory of the last 10 years of beautiful Knicks history....
Hey, The NBA Season Is Starting!
The NBA season tips off tonight, and we should all take heed: It'll be the last time anybody cares about an NBA regular season game. Enjoy!...
Colleen Bellotti Is In Tents
Colleen Bellotti-who may or may not be the First Lady of Oregon football-laid in to the Oregonian's John Canzano at Saturday's game, and she didn't care who was around. Canzano had written some uncomfortable stories regarding Bellotti's son's DUI, which is pretty odd, considering he's also a member ...
Two Pair Not A Winning Hand In Kansas
Oh yes we've got trouble! Right here in Salina Kansas! With a capital T and that rhymes with B and that stands for boobs! Here are Salina Central High seniors Jessica Sheahon and Haley Wenthe, modeling salacious T-shirt designs which have been banned from their high school campus. The entire notion ...
That Series Of Tubes Can Be Confusing
When you think of all the technological wizardry NFL coaches have at their dispersal, we wonder sometimes if the next world-changing innovation will spawn from the mind of a Dorito-peppered slouch coach bunkered in his office at 4 a.m., watching game film and suddenly discovering cold fusion. They c...
Rage Against The Machine
This happened a while ago, but hey, whaddya gonna do? Stationary bikes, meant to bring mankind together through the shared experience of pointless effort, have instead become instruments of violence and wanton destruction. Let the record show that the first recorded incident of "spin rage" occurred ...
Pam Ward Is Not Listening To Her Producer
We actually don't think Pam Ward is a bad broadcaster — not at all, actually — but this clip, from her broadcast of the Michigan State-UAB game, seems to imply that she might be deaf....
Vote Boulware! (Or Something)
When we think about NFL players of the last 10 years or so we'd imagine running for office someday, we can't say that former Ravens linebacker Peter Boulware was the first guy to come to mind. He's never had any problems in his life or anything; it's not like Michael Irvin or anything. (Or, you know...
About Last Night ...
What you missed while fighting the Crazy 88s ... • MLB: LaLaWood Fables ... Dodgers sink slowly in the West, Angels soar. It's the circle of life. • WNBA: It seems like only yesterday that you didn't care that the WNBA season had begun, and now you fail to care that the Finals are almost over. Weird...
Who's The Next Old, White Lady To Get Humped by a Black NBA Player?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him and let him know what you think....
Artest And Jackson Already Suspended For Next Season
This is an interesting way to end the blogging day: Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson were just suspended by the NBA for the first seven games of next season. Yes, you read that correctly: next season....
The Whitecaps Will Summon Your Inner Geek
We proudly present you with Rick Chandler's Minor Enterprise!...
What Will Be Cut From This Year's ESPY Awards?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
Hey, Aramis Ramirez Hit A Home—YeeeeeOW!
The high-five being replaced with the prostate-massage ... long, long, overdue. But if this Cubs winning streaks goes much longer, I shudder to think of what's going to start happening in that dugout. Bat boys are going to have to be replaced with jizzmoppers....