ward Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Floyd Mayweather, A Heavy Spawner
Since he beat Oscar de la Hoya in the First Fight To End All Fights That Involved, In Fact, No Fighting, Floyd Mayweather has been making sure to enjoy himself. But it's all fun and games until you're served with a child-support suit at the BET Awards....
If Detroit Pitchers Played All Nine Positions ...
We have to agree with Bugs and Cranks: Seeing a truly awful defensive play in baseball is darned near as good as seeing a truly great one. The site's Lead Glove Awards are out, and once again we see Manny Ramirez in a place of honor. A couple of our favorite lines:...
May We Have A Word, Please?
One of our favorite Steve Martin lines: "Some people have a way with words. Other people, er ... I don't know, not have way, I guess." From Houghton Mifflin comes the list of 100 essential words that every high school graduate should know, and we are very pleased to see two of our old favorites, "fe...
Down Goes Patel!
It's official, folks: Samir Patel, the perennial favorite who always just misses at the Spelling Bee, has just been eliminated from the Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee. The word he missed was "clevis."...
Last Call For All Spelling Bee Bets!
The Scripps Howard National Spelling Bee — so lovingly run down by Mr. Daulerio — begins tomorrow, and, as always, the great minds at Throwing Things will be live-blogging the whole thing. Even though Mike and Mike are calling this thing, we still can't wait: The Spelling Bee remains one of our favo...
About Last Night ...
What you missed after the knitting accident ... • NHL: Over? Did you say over? Nothing's over until we decide it is! Sabres 3, Senators 2. • NBA: Not many people happy with David Stern right now. Spurs 88, Suns 85. • MLB: John Lackey is the wind beneath our wings. Angels 5, Mariners 0....
How Do You Spell "P-L-E-A-S-E L-O-R-D G-O-D S-T-O-P T-A-L-K-I-N-G?"
Sometimes we wonder if we are too hard on ESPN. Sure, collectively, they seem to have sucked the very life out of sports, packaging schtick and corporate pablum into a stew of impossible-to-digest soulless muck. (And, unlike the rest of us, they mix metaphors!) But they're still just individuals, ou...
Ryan Howard To Fight Michael Strahan For Jared's Meat
If you caught the afternoon baseball game on Fox yesterday, you might've seen the new Subway commercial starring Jared and Phillies slugger Ryan Howard. I didn't see it, myself ... but since it doesn't yet exist on YouTube, I have to assume that means that it's way less gay than the giggling Michael...
Excuse Me While I Kiss The Rim
That's what Michael Jordan helped to rob you of during the NBA's Slam Dunk contest. It's nice to see it on YouTube, but it would have been far nicer to see it in primetime on TNT, in place of Nate Robinson missing dunks for two straight minutes....
You Will Dance With Shaq And You Will Like It
There aren't many good reasons not to like Shaq. This was Shaq having fun at the All-Star practice yesterday, forcing LeBron and Dwight Howard to have fun along with him. I realize that Shaq is not everyone's cup of tea, but when he retires, who's going to do stuff like this? It seems like Shaq is m...
Tim Duncan is Not Tall Enough
Dwight Howard is getting all the credit for this, and sure ... Dwight Howard's freakish abilities speak for themselves. But how about that lob from Hedo Turkoglu? Magic Johnson couldn't have done it better. Picture perfect. I'm going to go out on a limb and say that's the best contribution to basket...
Taking Down The USA, One Touchdown At A Time
Every year, usually more than once a year (whenever there's a major sporting event), some soulless, dumb "research firm" tries to convince us that the office workers of America are somehow skirting their duties serving The Man by paying so much attention to something that might divert them from star...
Sportswriters Are So Goddamned Cool
Our friends at Gelf Magazine point out the newest trend in newspaper sports columnists column photos: The full body shot!...
It's The Arizona Cardinals Plane! Perfectly Safe! All Aboard, Everyone!
Wouldn't it be slightly hilarious if Denny Green shows up at the Phoenix airport today, and this is the only plane out? Since Mr. Leitch is still on vacation, it's up to us to make sense of this news release from our new friends at US Airways....
Yes. It Was, Uh, A Verbal Slip, And In No Way A Glimpse Into A Total Lack Of Football Understanding
If you'll remember yesterday, ESPN "analyst" Desmond Howard made a particularly egregious error during a discussion of the football bowl game he was looking most forward to, claiming it was a California-Texas game that wasn't actually happening. (Cal plays Texas A&M.)...
Desmond Howard, Mythical Bowl Expert
We don't mean to be smug about this, we really don't: Live television is awfully difficult, with all the flashing lights and camera cues and clock countdowns, and the possibility that a single screwup will end up pointed out and mocked by little twerps like us. It's hard. We appreciate it....
Ryan Howard Gives Philly Something Small To Be Happy About
Hey, Philly fans, good news: No need to cause bodily harm to yourself or others. You finally have a beacon of light in Philadelphia. One might even say it's always sunny....
Dwight Howard, Enjoying His Youthful Years
You know how we know that the Orlando Magic's Dwight Howard is just starting to break the ceiling of NBA stardom? He's hanging out with porn stars. Specifically, amply bosomed former gubernatorial candidate Mary Carey, who tells the story of meeting Howard in a Luke Is Back, apparently a well-read...
Hines Ward Earns The Opposite Of Street Cred
Apparently, Hines Ward is huge among the lonely housewives of America. Viewers of the Regis and Kelly show voted Hines Ward of the Pittsburgh Steelers as their favorite athlete, which is sort of like being presented an award for achievement in the field of advanced mathematics from the local Dockw...