ward Page 94 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
1st Round, Fifth Overall: Chiefs Select Glenn Dorsey
The big question in March was whether Dorsey had super-secret-surgery on his balky knees. How secret surgery even possible? I can't get a hemorrhoid removed without six referrals and a signed affidavit from the president of my insurance company. But somehow one of the top NFL prospects can sneak in...
Where, Uh, Whoa, Amazing Highs Happen
Dominating the headlines this Saturday is the shocking (shocking!) admission by the Mavericks' Josh Howard that he, like every one in the NBA who isn't J.J. Reddick, smokes trees in the off-season. Also: baseball players take steroids and politicians cheat on their spouses....
Kenneth Keith Kallenbach Finally Gets His Wings
Howard Stern fans will know Kenneth Keith Kallenbach for his lifelong membership as one of the "Wack Pack" and his odd, disturbing, unfunny bits as the stoner kid with the big dreams that would never amount to anything. A Philadelphia area native and Phillies fan, Kallenbach was one of those "comedi...
Remembering Howard Cosell, 13 Years Later
Howard Cosell died 13 years ago today. You will have to forgive us, and most people who read this site who are younger than us, but Cosell is more a legend among our generation than he is anyone who has a tangible relationship to the way we remember sporting events. Cosell was last on "Monday Night ...
NHL POST-VIEW: NHL Awards, Facts And Fiction
With the regular season over and done, NHL Closer writer Greg Wyshynski hands out the hockey hardware — officially and unofficially....
Pat Jordan, Canseco "Square Off" On Howard Stern
This morning, on The Howard Stern Show (a.k.a., the show you used to listen to all the time until either: a) he left for satellite radio, which you don't get; or b) he got divorced from his wife, draining the show of its subtle, mostly hidden pathos), Jose Canseco was a guest. And Pat Jordan, author...
Which Golden Boy Will Get Wooden?
Storming The Floor looks at the Wooden Award ... if they dare!...
About Last Night
What you missed while blessing the Phillies' balls ... • MLB: Santana, Mets begin quest for world domination by annexing Florida Marlins, 7-2. • College women's basketball: No soup for North Carolina; LSU reaches Final Four. • College men's basketball: Stanford to lose more than 14 feet of Lopez bro...
Man's Ashes Have More Fun Than He Ever Did
Dear tiny infant Jesus, or as our brothers in the south call you, "Jezus," please welcome Big George Helms (pictured here) into your Heavenly kingdom. But first, kindly bear with us as his remains take a couple of laps at Las Vegas Motor Speedway. Then its over to the KFC drive-thru, and then straig...
Eric Byrnes Can Tolerate Men Staring At His Junk
We haven't heard much from Diamondbacks outfielder Eric Byrnes in the offseason, but we can only guarantee it was something EXTREME AND WHOLLY UNPREDICTABLE! ZIGGITY SWISH! He's back this year, and his Diamondbacks were among the first to be drug tested. Byrnes is absolutely comfortable with the pro...
Brent Petway Wants To Take Down Dwight Howard
Matt from Hardwood Paroxysm has all of our NBA Development League coverage. Today, he talked to Brent Petway, former Michigan Wolverine and champion of the D-League's dunk contest, about how he wants to challenge Dwight Howard....
Acorns In The Digestive Tract
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Dr. Lawyer Indian Chief....
Attention Terrell Owens: Help Is On The Way
So a guy in Brazil, not content with the normal tattoo options in his area, has had octopus suction cups grafted onto his arms. Cool! My guess is that Belichick has already made this required surgery for all of his receivers; and Derek Jeter is looking into it as well. Whereas Ichiro Suzuki just lo...
Dwight Howard Saves Your Dunk Contest
Finally the right man wins the dunk contest. This is what happens when you don't allow Michael Jordan to be a judge, even if Darryl Dawkins is perhaps his equal in hateration. Howard stole the show in what many are saying was one of the best dunk contests ever, if at least in recent memory....
Braylon Edwards Honors Sean Taylor His Own Way
Today the NFL season officially ends with the annual Pro Bowl game in Honolulu. Its a day filled with Gonzo Friday-esque wardrobes, leis, coconuts, and, in this year's, hearfelt Sean Taylor tributes. Redskins reps Chris Cooley, Ethan Albright, and Chris Samuels will all be wearing Taylor's number 21...
Brian Billick's Last Days
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....
Herman Edwards' Coors Light Commercial
We have made no secret of our enduring love of The Dugout, both in its original incarnation and its current, non-expletive form at AOL Sports. But you think these guys just know baseball? Pshaw....
Who's Sorry Now? Herm Edwards Edition
Kansas City Chiefs head coach Herm Edwards, we salute you. Not only did you basically tell your fans to go #### themselves after they complained about the Chiefs' losing record, but then you were forced to sloppily apologize; essentially humbling yourself before fat guys who wear bags over their hea...
It's Close To Midnight And Hichori Morimoto Is Lurking In The Dark
Here is Hichori Morimoto of the Hokkaido Nippon Ham Fighters accepting his Japanese Pacific League Golden Glove award. (Umm... back row, second from the left.) Just a word from the wise, Morimoto: Maybe stick to the performance art stilts and Martian or Conehead costumes. They're much less racisty,...
In Praise Of Dwight Howard
Every two weeks, the gents at Free Darko will be taking a look at the deranged ecosystem that is the National Basketball Association in their own indelible fashion. Here's this week's entry, from Bethlehem Shoals....