washington-nationals Page 28 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Report: Unnamed Amorous Ballplayer Plays For Team That Appropriately Doesn't Know How To Score
Onetime declared virgin Jeff Pearlman knows which baseball player was cold mackin' on an intern in Houston recently, but he's not telling. All he'll say is that the ballplayer was — are you ready for this? — a Washington National....

Nationals Fire Manager To Cap Most Ridiculous First-Half Ever
In the least surprising firing of ever, Manny Acta is done as the Washington Nationals manager—but will they continue to fail in even more remarkable and outlandish ways in the second half? Or will they just merely suck?...

Nationals And Pirates Combine To Make Pretty Decent Baseball Team
Houston and Washington had some unfinished business yesterday, wrapping up a suspended game that took two months, two cities and three teams to complete. And the winning pitcher got the decision while taking a nap in Philadelphia....

Exit Music For An Acta
SI.com reports Manny Acta's time managing the Washington Natinals will be over soon. President Stan Kasten won't confirm or deny that report, only saying that he's "perplexed" by the abysmal 16-43 record, which probably means he's done....

If The Nationals Lose But No One Is Around To See It, Do They Still Lose?
Nationals Park looked slightly emptier than usual last night, with less than 100 fans sticking around to weather a two-hour ninth inning rain delay. But boy, did they get a good fireworks show afterward — oh, wait. [Washington Post]...

Have You Read Enough About This Guy Today?
Today's MLB Draft officially kicks off Stephen Strasburgapalooza, and despite the torrent of media coverage, most stories tackled one of two questions: How much will the Nationals pony up, and are No. 1 picks worth the money?...

The Nationals Even Lose To Fireworks
Nationals Park sucks — we know that — so the franchise rewards those 200 people who shell out to watch another loss with fireworks. Nice gesture, until the Nationals, as always, managed to screw it up....

Why Your Stadium Sucks: Nationals Park
This is a new weekly feature in which I (and maybe you, too, readers) detail the various reasons for hating your ballpark. This week: Nationals Park...

Make Some Space On Your CBS Sports Fantasy Teams
Stephen Strasburg wasn't one of The Chosen Ones, but he is otherworldy enough to be one of Washington's starting pitchers before the MLB Draft. In all fairness, CBS' geeksquad was probably just prepping for summer vacation. [CBS Sports]...

Jim Bowden’s (Extremely Brief) Return To Respectability
Jim Bowden, the disgraced ex-Nationals GM, stands accused of stealing ballplayers' bonus money. The team he built is on pace to lose 118 games. Naturally, ESPN wanted to hire him....

The Nationals Are A Memorial To Failure
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Beware The Flying Sausage Casings At Nat's Games
The Nationals are having a helluva year. Misspelled uniforms. Misspelled bats. They suck. Now sausage-shooting meltdowns: "They were very clearly exploding as they were shot out, and we could easily see the bun and foil that were laying on the warning track." [WaPo]...

The Nationals Are Content With Losing As Many Games As Possible This Season, Thank You
Stephen Strasburg, this year's can't-miss baseball prospect, has started 13 games at San Diego State and he's won 12 of them....

Wherein We Jinx Ryan Zimmerman
The Z-Man's hit streak is at 30, the longest by a third baseman since 1980. Let's hope it keeps going because it's the only reason anyone would go see the Nationals this year. [National Journal]...

Top Draft Prospect About To Get Paid
Top draft prospect Stephen Strasburg pitched a 17 K, no hitter in his last home game at San Diego State. Expect the Nationals to draft him before getting anally raped by his agent, Scott Boras....

Elijah Dukes Uses His Powers For Good, Still Gets Into Trouble
Elijah Dukes spent Saturday afternoon signing autographs for Little Leaguers. Naturally, that led to him being benched, a crushing defeat for the Nationals, and a teammate with a broken ankle....

Please Rise For Our Natinal Anthem
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Even Nationals Beat Writer Realizes Writing About The Nationals Is An Awful Job
Over the weekend Nationals beat writer Chico Harlan must have accidentally ingested some sodium pentothal, since he oddly stated in an interview that he "doesn't like sports," which aggravated all five of the Nats' fans....

Julian Tavarez Puts On Beer Goggles, Signs With Nationals
We all get desperate sometimes. (Some more desperate than others.) But it's how you respond in those dark, angst ridden moments that defines you—and Julian Tavarez defines himself as not above slumming it....