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Nationals Somehow Add New Layers Of Humiliation To Loss Of Bryce Harper
The Nationals have historically acquitted themselves far better in free agency than their fellow DC professional sports teams, at least two of whom are excruciatingly awful at signing players. But in their hurry to announce their franchise-altering failure to retain Bryce Harper, they appear to have...

Nationals Owner Mark Lerner On Bryce Harper: "I Really Don't Expect Him To Come Back"
The Bryce Harper free agency sweepstakes are underway, and the Nationals seem to already know where they stand in the race. Their offer to Harper, which was first reported last month, is somewhere in the range of 10 years and $300 million. That is probably less than other interested parties will pu...

The Bryce Harper Derby Is Officially Off And Running
Oooh, buddy, you’d better take care and keep your kids well back, because though it’s barely November, the stove is on and it is one hot fucking stove....

Jayson Werth To Cop After DUI: "I'm Just Not Sure I Trust You"
Back in April, former Washington Nationals outfielder Jayson Werth was arrested in Arizona for driving under the influence. Today, TMZ posted video of that arrest, which includes Werth telling the police officer that he’s not sure if the officer is lying to him....

If This Really Was Bryce Harper's Last Home Game As A National, VICTOR ROBLES VICTOR ROBLES
There are two kinds of people in the world: those who get misty while reading about Bryce Harper walking around in his uniform more than three hours before what could be his last home game as a National, and those who have no time for sentimentality because they’re too busy drooling over what Victor...

Max Scherzer Just Keeps Making History
Max Scherzer struck out 10 Marlins over seven innings of one-run ball Tuesday night to earn his 18th win of the season. The 10 strikeouts brought Scherzer to an even 300 on the season, the highest season total of Scherzer’s prolific career and just the 36th 300-strikeout season in the majors since 1...

Conservative D.C. Is A Bunch Of Weird-As-Hell Nationals Fans
There’s no reason to know who Ben Hobbs is. He’s one of the anonymous ideology droids that fill Washington D.C.’s less-interesting condominiums, pad out its cocktail parties, and ensure that its steakhouse banquettes never get cold. When Republicans are in power, he will work in government; when the...

Add "Not Getting Ejected" To List Of Bryce Harper's Missed Goals For 2018
It’s been a shit year for Bryce Harper, measured against expectations, and even aside from the Nationals being an even bigger disappointment than usual. He came on in the second half, but he’s still gonna finish the year batting around or below .250, and with a growing reputation as a guy who can be...

Maybe Stephen Strasburg Is Doing This On Purpose?
In his last start, back on Thursday, Stephen Strasburg managed to plunk all of Jorge Alfaro, Matt Wieters, and umpire Hunter Wendelstedt, all with one pitch. It was assumed at the time that this was a fluky accident, but maybe not! Maybe he’s doing this on purpose....

Sensitive Umpire Laz Diaz Turns Baseball Game Into Extended Temper Tantrum
Home plate umpire Laz Diaz lost his mind in the middle innings of Friday night’s Nationals-Braves game. In the bottom of the fifth inning, with the Braves at bat, Diaz jumped up and started screaming at Bryce Harper, who was stationed 150 feet away, in center field. Diaz was pissed at Harper for exp...

Stephen Strasburg Plunked Three Guys With One Pitch
Efficiency is important for a starting pitcher, so give credit to Nationals right-hander Stephen Strasburg, who Wednesday night tagged hitter Jorge Alfaro, his own teammate Matt Wieters, and umpire Hunter Wendelstedt, all with one baseball....
![Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/pu9hzqspmmhcfjy4yqes.png)
Nats Rookie Spits Out Tooth, Socks First Career Dinger [Update]
A strange thing happened in the top of the fifth inning of the first game of today’s Nationals-Phillies doubleheader. Nationals’ rookie catcher Spencer Kieboom spit out a tooth (or possibly a chunk of tooth?) on his way to the plate for his second at-bat of the day....

Philly's Grounds Crew Uses Flamethrowers To Dry Wet Field, HAS FLAMETHROWERS
Monday night’s scheduled Nationals-Phillies game was postponed when the Philadelphia grounds crew couldn’t get the field ready for play, despite there being no significant rain at game-time. The issue, it turns out, came down to heavier than expected rain over the weekend, or possibly a miscalculati...

The Good-For-Nothing Nationals Came Within One Lousy Run Of The Rare All-69 Trifecta
The Nationals beat the Cardinals by one run in extras on Labor Day. Who gives a shit, right? The Nationals are junk. The loss could matter to the Cardinals in their pursuit of an NL Wild Card, but that is not why we are here. We are here for this:...

Gio González Takes A Break From Weeping To Reassure Brewers PR People: "But I'm Happy! I Am Happy."
The Nationals traded lefty starter Gio Gonzalez to the Milwaukee Brewers on Friday, the last day that players can move between teams and remain eligible to play in the postseason. Gonzalez has been in Washington since 2012; during that time he’s gotten married, had a couple kids, and entrenched hims...

Mark Reynolds Punctuates Meltdown By Throwing Batting Gloves At Umpire
Nationals international man of mystery Mark Reynolds was displeased by a called strike three in the top of the eighth inning in Tuesday night’s game against the Phillies, when umpire Sam Holbrook rang him up on an 0–2 outside fastball after an enthusiastic frame-up by Phillies catcher Jorge Alfaro. ...

The Nationals Finally Throw In The Towel
After spending the trade deadline waffling and coming out the other side without buying nor selling to any important degree, the Nationals have finally begun their fire sale. ...

Maybe The Nationals Really Are As Much Of A Mess As That Anonymous Player Said
The Nationals are now dead, much as they have died many times before this season, but this time it’ll really take, coming as it did at the humiliating hands of the Marlins. So it’s time for postmortems! Here’s a good Washington Post story containing the anecdote that’ll come to define this lost year...

Stick All The Forks In These Losers
The Nationals got smoked Sunday afternoon, at home, by the garbage Marlins. Jose Ureña—yes, that fucking guy—pitched a dominant two-hitter for his first career complete game. Ureña, by the way, on top of being a shithead, is bad! He came into the game with a 3–12 record, and a crummy 4.74 ERA, and a...

Max Scherzer, Still An Intense Weirdo
Lost in the thrill of rookie David Bote’s spectacular walk-off grand slam was the best pitching duel of perhaps the entire season. New Cubs acquisition Cole Hamels threw seven innings of one-hit, one-run ball, and Max Scherzer, favorite for a third straight Cy Young, did him one better with three h...